Monday, December 29, 2008



As the previous post states.. sorry for the delay. I had a house full of family members all week and my dog started showing beginning symptoms of being bipolar. He now has his meds and is no longer confusing my foot for a fire hydrant.
My gift giving was pretty light this year, since the funds were low, and I have low expectations anyway since I'm over the age of 20. Each year, my father tries to stay relevant or the center of conversation when distributing his Christmas finds to willing recipients. Personally, I think it is that Christmas guilt since him and my mother split up a few years back. This year, he was more reminiscent of the Ghost of Christmas Past.... past fashion faux pas. While he gets an "A" for remembering Kang Jesus' birthday, I don't know what warm feeling led him to the local Kohls department store and proceed to pick out and purchase 5 FILA sweat suit ensembles (shaking my head). This.. coming from a man that asked (and got) an Ipod for Christmas, but doesn't know how to open an attachment in an email. Now this is no time to be picky.. but it's not like I just got off the plane from some foreign country and didn't understand that FILA was hot in '85 (maybe). I didn't have the heart to to tell him that his gift would be shoved in the bottom of a Goodwill drop off box by next week. Season's Greetings!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Happy Holidays!!

Okay... Everybody needs a "VayCay"!
The "Chicks" are actually taking a little time off to spend precious moments with our loved ones. If you get a blog entry between now and January 5th, 2009, it is a bonus! You know, that not only do most of our families not have a computer but if they do, their computer is still on dial up!!! LOL!!! We promise, we will come back refreshed, hilarious, and interesting as ever. Please stay tuned and have a blessed holiday!
Much love,
The "Chicks"

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Let me first start out by saying, I am too lazy and tired to pre screen every attempt at foolishness that comes across Youtube. C+D makes it easy on my fragile nerves so I can hold it together for Jesus' birthday next week. My mind got weery trying to focus on all the extra goodies in the above clip. May we request another prayer circle for Sybil in the hopes she doesn't harm herself while protecting her domicile. What sets the tone.. her bumping "America's Most Wanted" by Tupac and Snoop on level 10! After January 20th, this must cease!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I'm about to go all Shawshank up in here. Of course I was up at the random hour of 4 am to catch Shawshank Redemption on HBO. That way I'm feeling right now, I would crawl through 500 yards of human waste to gain my freedom from this life of boredom. Yes, it was a sh*tty day over on the SW side of the "A". I am officially in a rut. It completely sucks to be in the middle of a career change and borderline financial crisis. I must be a complete genius to be taking such a risk while the WORLD is in an economic downward spiral... but that is me. I've done stranger things. Most of you know I'm trying to move to higher ground.. DC for those of you in the know. Not to down Atlanta in any way, but its like being with a really nice guy, but no spark. You don't get that tingle when your cell phone rings and you know it is him. If you decided to keep him around longterm you know he would be dependable, but you would be bored out of your skull. That is how I feel about Atlanta. We are not evenly yolked! Since I know that the Big Move is near, sitting around waiting for the official job offer to pack my sh*t and go is like watching paint dry. The anxiety is getting to me. Patience is not one of my most endearing qualities. I need instant gratification. Andy crawling through that pipe filled with raw sewage is the equivalent of me rubbing two pennies together for the last few months to see if I can make a dime. I just want to get to the other side and raise my hands in victory (for affect.. let it be raining and violins playing in the background). I need a change!

The Great Escape - Shawshank Redemption

Monday, December 15, 2008


Oscar .. check!
Goods looks.. (from the neck down anyway).. check!
Fame & Fortune.. check!
Viable recording artist...????

I know you all remember back in the day (mid 80's) when Eddie Murphy was at the height of his career and he decided to do that album. Y'all remember.. "my girl wants to party all the time.. party all the time.. party all the tiiiiiime!". RIP Rick James.. At the tender age of 9, I didn't take his musical prowess seriously. The male ego can be a bankable movie star's worst enemy. With such a solid career in the 80's now Eddie is reduced to being known for taking a liking to chicks with a little something extra and to being the questionable roomate of Johnny Gill. Oh, and let's not forget the 45 minute marriage he had with Tracy Edmonds. Um.. hmm.
Even before I saw the above clip, I always thought Jamie Foxx's musical talent was average at best. I recently watched the video "Just Like Me". If my one year old niece can hum the melody to the hook on your song.. it is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Now while I admit that "baby wipes" Terrence Howard takes himself a little too seriously as a recording artist, Mr. Foxx is not that far behind. Eddie Murphy is Jamie Foxx without the Oscar. Somebody needs a reality check.

Friday, December 12, 2008


YES!! YES!! YES!! Ri Ri gets a gold star without even trying. Cannot believe this is the same chick that penned "Pon Da Replay". If she can do it.. dammit.. so can I. I'll be recreating this ensemble for New Years Eve for the low.. low price of $100. Watch... Charlotte Russe.. here I come! Yes, my pants may be made out of the always fashionable "pleather" and my coat out of chinese dog hair, but I'll be fly and be able to pay my cell phone bill next month. DON'T HATE!!

NO.. MAMA TINA NO!! While I am a self proclaimed Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter stalker, I can't get behind that raw silk/racoon combination coat. Looks like something I made in sewing class in 1989. Something is always a little off with her style choices. I'd soon enough point her in the direction of Forever 21 before I tell her to pick up the Spring line at House of Dereon. This chick is worth $200 million. Let's do better!

Pics compliments of The YBF.

Fix Or Repair Daily

Most of my natural life my family had been involved with the sale of American made automobiles. Before retirement, my dad was an automobile dealer. Since I was atleast 5 years old, I knew nothing of foreign made cars. My first car was a white Ford Mustang (not the GT) with a tape deck. All through college, I drove different models of the Ford Probe, Mustang, Thunderbird, Explorer and Tempo (I was on punishment on that last one). Yes, my dream car was a BMW, but I never dared become picky over a vehicle I was not making the car payments on. Were they the best cars to drive.. no.. but as far as my wallet was concerned.. they were FREE! So fast forward to 2000, I got my first taste of luxury. It came in the form of a silver 323i. That is the first time I became one with my vehicle. I know one should never be so attached to material things, but me and that car had a strong bond. I almost shed a tear when I traded her in for an updated model.
What brings me down auto memory lane is that feeling of excitement when making that car purchase. It is the second biggest purchase you will ever make outside of buying a home. The American automakers need to figure out a way to create that magic. So, if you're getting $15 Billion from the feds, I don't see why it is brain surgery to come up with a product that is marketable to the general public. Not everybody needs to ride in a HUMMER or an F250. It seems like everyone else saw the tide changing, what made these company execs want to stay the course and let the ship sink all in the need to change the body style on the Ford Focus. Again, why pay these men million dollar bonuses when now they are only thinking about change after being ridiculed for flying in on private jets with their hands out. Solution: Make the Big 3 make modernized, cost efficient, environment friendly vehicles and give the consumer a tax incentive on their purchase. What is so hard about that?

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Once again, I am amazed at the pearls of wisdom that permeate my computer screen every time I visit one of my favorite blog site C+D. WARNING: I advise all heterosexual men to bypass this particular post. If you dare to proceed, you may turn into a pillar of salt. All I got to say is if I had these skills, I'd probably be married by now with child and living comfortable by NeNe Leakes standards. My emotion while watching this clip is a mixture of nausea, laughter, confusion, jealousy. Excuse me while I go get the Pepto!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Democratic Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his wayward hair are heading to the pokey! That is if the attorney general has anything to say about it. Yes, I know the election is over and Barack is well on his way to the White House, but I cringe anytime I think the media could find a way to link any scandal to our President-Elect. Boy, am I glad this dude wasn't black.. its bad enough we've had to deal with the recent shenanigans of OJ and Kwame Kilpatrick. I hope Jesse Jackson Jr don't get caught up. You know they need to give that Senate seat to him anyway. Unless you were brought up on a farm and was home schooled for the first 13 years of your life, you shouldn't run for public office. They will always finds something. Like the time I stole a mirror out of JC Penney.. I was 5!!! But.. I GUARANTEE.. if I was running for city council.. it would turn into a big scandal and I would be throwing news conferences explaining my mental capacity at the tender age of 5. NO THANK YOU!!! The more power you have, the more sloppy you get. This dude didn't think he had a phone tap? Come on, I talk daily on the phone about trivial reality shows and how my dog pooped in his crate yesterday, and if I hear a click or echo .. this jig is up.. I gotta tap on my phone. All I gotta say is.. don't drop the soap!


You would think with all this extra free time I would find something more constructive to do. It's like watching paint dry. But.. nope! Between posting for jobs on, working part time shifts at the car wash, and keeping my house immaculate for potential renters to view, I usually find the dumbest, mind numbing thing to watch on tv. Things have been a little suspect since The Wire went off. I'm left to my own devices. Well, a friends turned me on to True Blood. Yes.. I know the season is over.. that is what On Demand is for. Was I initially interested in watching a series about vampires in the deep South? Not exactly, you know us "black folk" don't like nothing to do with the dark side. I pray Jesus don't put roots on my computer as I'm typing this.. but the show is good. Bill Compton (the main vampire) has to be the most romantic tv character I've seen in .. forever or maybe that is part of my strange dysfunction. Its twisted, dark, and intriguing all at the same time. Wouldn't be my usual pick, but kudos to HBO for giving me something with substance.

My personal MVP: Lafayette! Snap for the kids!

Monday, December 8, 2008


That is funny, especially coming from someone that don't technically have a job (yet). I must admit, I've gotten quite spoiled over the last few years working in real estate. That whole setting your own schedule was well worth all the gas I burned up riding the outskirts of Atlanta in search of my buyer's dream home. But.. now it is coming to an end and I'm mentally preparing myself to re enter the corporate setting. I have to get ready for my manager to say things like "kudos", "awesome", and "let me share these pearls with you". You know you've been in that professional job setting and wanted to straight jump across the desk and wrap your hands around that coworker's neck that used to pick there nose on a daily basis, but then always want to use your phone for personal calls... GROSS!! That inner cuss out is always right around the corner. The following clip made my soul cry out... in laughter!

Sunday, December 7, 2008


On my FREAKING ITunes!!!
Okay, Here we go.... DRAMA as usual!

I lost EVERYTHING on ITunes because I bought a new computer. Hell, my other PC was almost 7 years old (Yes, I am a cheap ass...) I decided because, at least today, I am a PROFESSIONAL :) so I should suck it up and get a real computer. I was relying on my work laptop and we all know that I may lose my job tomorrow, so based on that, I bought a real computer to download my personal stuff. A Mac at that! I like it for a number of reasons- mostly to take great pics of my "Sweet Pea" and make them into movies and holiday cards but as I go to sync my IPOD of over 3000+ songs, EVERYTHING DISAPPEARED!!! Oh Sh*t! What am I to do!!! Momma has to get her workout on! Momma needs to decompress on her way home from work with a few "dusties" blaring through the car radio! I currently live in a neighborhood where, at my gym, they play Bon Jovi for spin class! IT SUCKS!!! I NEED, WANT, HAVE TO HAVE, my OWN music. It takes me back! It makes me feel less than the age I am! It helps me to de-stress! I have my special playlist that reminds me of college- MANY MEMORIES, I might add... good, bad, or indifferent :) It is UNREAL how a song can provoke so many memories... Or visions for the future. HAHAHA!! Here is an example- Pretty Brown Eyes by Mint Condition reminds me of my freshman year of college where I met 7 of my now closest friends. I smile every time I hear it! Feenin' by Jodeci ... well, I will keep that one to myself... LOL! Does anyone else share my pain? I am headed to the Apple store tomorrow to raise sayin' as my Nana would say. I will keep you posted. This "Chick" may have a sleepless night!!!! For sanity purposes, I need my music!

Saturday, December 6, 2008


Another warm holiday story to get you in the Christmas mood. Wasn't Halloween over a month ago, cause I got the spooks. I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but I've seen a rise in home invasions in my neighborhood over the past few weeks. The latest victim.. my next door neighbor. Eventhough they only made off with a laptop, I'm shaking in my boots. Luckliy me and my neighbor are pretty cool, so I feel we look out for each other.. but she can't stop somebody from kicking in my back door in the middle of the night. So what is a single girl to do? I don't quite know, but while I'm in the process of finding sufficient home protection.. I trust NO ONE. Everyone is a suspect in my book. While I do believe it is some bored teenagers trying to find a way to pass the time, I'm giving the side eye to the mail man, the old lady that walks her poodle every morning, my other next door neighbor that never speaks eventhough I throw my hand up occassionally and wave, or the numerous service, cleaning personnel that may have been scoping out the place. So I'm a prisoner in my own home, but I'm not going down without a fight. My little Kingston will protect me. He may not be a 100 lb attack dog, but he'll bark to the high heavens.


When I was a youngin, I played in an all girl softball league. I can see the team picture clear as day. Our red and white team shirts with our first names on the back, black gym shorts circa 1982, and knee high white gym socks with the red stripes at the top. Lets not forget the solo pic where I'm standing over home plate with the bat slightly lopsided and I'm squinting my eyes cause the sun is so bright. Okay.. back on the path to my point. The one thing about that picture I remember is thinking "where were the boys?". Through kindergarten and elementary school, the sexes were segregated. Whether it was P.E., after school sports .. the environment where competition is at its highest.. got me thinking.. if we didn't learn how to play nice in those formative years, what makes us think we can play nice as adults. After counseling a guy friend through what looks like a break up of something promising, I found it odd how similar the reaction is to hurt, disappointment or rejection no matter what the gender. He was genuinely caught off guard by the break down of his relationship. I always thought guys just shrug it off, go have a jack and coke, and call the next chick on speed dial for a sleep over. Not to take pleasure in his pain (cause that chick was wrong), but it was nice to see real raw emotion. Now the transformation begins. The nice guy that was always open about his feelings (in a masculine way) has now been badly burned for the first time, and his trust for women has all but disappeared. I know he'll think differently about it a few days from now, but we've all been there. So my question is.. if we surprisingly are similar in that way where we BOTH can be emotional creatures.. why can't boys and girls.. men and women meet somewhere in the middle?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


I've been on my out of state hustle over the past two days (yes, planes, trains, and automobiles). I'm jumping through some serious hoops to live out my dreams to the fullest. While I know risk taking is in the blood, it seems like is in overdrive lately... like a super hero.. and a super hero needs her theme music. Sorry for all the recent music posts, but when you go to another city that has a slight edge on the culture meter, you're amazed at what your ear lobes can hear. I mean.. my soul cried! So.. I'm late. I'll be picking up "Fearless" by Jasmine Sullivan tomorrow. Is it possible to have jet lag without changing time zones? I'm going to sleep now.. wake me on Friday.

Monday, December 1, 2008


Since we are now officially in a RECESSION, I started counting my pennies 6 months back. Instead of paying those big wigs that sit in some secret room on Wall Street and collect those big checks for delivering news that the whole nation was expecting, they could've cut me a smaller check and I could've reported the same damn thang back in April when that Combo #1 with a Lemonade at Chick Fila went up $.62 overnight. It was clear to me then we were in a RECESSION. Back to my point, I've started to cut out certain luxuries, but one is well worth the investment. If I didn't have satellite radio, I would be stuck listening to "Birdwalk" in heavy rotation.. no thank you! That $12.95 a month is worth every penny. If you live in the duurty like myself, it's hard to come by anything that wasn't produced by Little John or T Pain. I'm East Coast to my heart. Scrubbing the ground was cool when I was in college at those Alpha parties sweating my perm out, but now I need grown ass hip hop. Not that I'm on Jigga's nutzzz.. but .. well listen for yourself.


My mama always told me things happen in 3's.

Why on the same day President Elect Obama announces Hillary Clinton to be the Secretary of State (like that was a news flash).. and at the same time it was announced the economy was officially in a RECESSION (like I didn't see that coming), and that the dow plunges 680 points?... coincidence.. I think not!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Holiday Happenings: The Ghosts of Sex PAST.....

Yes people, They exist.
Whether you "count" them or not, they are out there, waiting, specifically for you!!! The reason is because they may not have rocked YOUR world but YOU ROCKED theirs! Case in point, ONE OF MY GIRLS- not this chick, promise.... was home for the holidays and in Chicago, our tradition is to kick it at an "old school" (defn: all of the people we went to college with or in our age group) party on Wednesday, chill with the FAM on Turkey Day Thursday, and kick it again the rest of the weekend. The interesting part is that the event that is the most fun is on Wednesday and that is normally when the "Ghosts" start looking for you! You will be at the party, looking FAB, hanging out with your GIRLZ and BAM!! There he is!

He is the one you forgot about.

Potential (not likely or you would remember his ass) but HE REMEMBERS YOU! It is an unfamiliar acquaintance at first, you let him buy you a cocktail, and then as he opens his mouth, you realize, in an INSTANT, why you did not stay with this BOZO in the first place! He starts his soliloquy (why things didn't work out but he still thinks about you everyday- yeah, yeah, GAG, Vomit coming shortly) and you are thinking, this was one occasion, maybe two :) where YOU needed to be fulfilled (hopefully) sexually and you did not feel that you needed to call him after that.
In your mind, no harm, no foul. In his mind- totally different. Probably because he realized that he lost "a catch." Everyone he has been dealing with since you has been "Chicken Heads"- AKA... Skank money grubbing hoes. He knows- with you, HE MISSED OUT. Ladies AND even Gentleman, if this is you- UNLESS THE SEX WAS REALLY, REALLY, GOOD(once again, if it was your would remember them...) WALK AWAY!
If you are not ready for an emotional roller coaster, WALK AWAY...
It is not worth it....

MAKE 2009, BETTER THAN 2008!!!!
Love, The "Sexy" Chick!!


Big leaves Carrie at the altar - Sex and The City Movie
(Per the above clip, it has always been a fantasy of mine to pelt an ex over the head with a bouquet of flowers (or a brick) while looking ultra fabulous at the same time.)

I'm not going to use this post as another excuse to post Beyonce's "Single Ladies", eventhough I think I have mastered almost every dance move. I hope I'm not in a club after two drinks.. and that song comes on. That'll be a post for "How to Embarrass Yourself.. thinking you are Beyonce". Whether you think B has talent or not (which is still being debated), she always seems to find a "girl" anthem that catches fire to the masses (over 400k sold in the first week.. look it up). After I had a chance to actually listen to the words, most of them ring true.
I can count atleast two exes that have professed their undying love for me (recently) after the relationship was over.."guuurl.. you were the one that got away". Now, I don't take their pleas seriously. I figure if you didn't know that while you were with me, than it wasn't meant to be (and you're a SCRUB anyway for not bowing in the presence of royalty). I have a male friend who pretty much confirmed my worst fears. Let's say.. you're in the relationship. Everything is honky dory! He's diggin you, and you are diggin him. You talk about the future, jobs, kids, houses, the family pet. Ladies, at a certain age, you want to be on the path to marriage and committment. Does it have to be right around the corner?.. no, but it needs to be atleast in the neighborhood. Then.. poof .. pow.. you start to notice distance and withdrawal sneeking in. He doesn't always return your call in a timely manner or he starts hanging out with his boys alot more than he used to. Now do most women have to be joined at the hip to our significant others.. absolutely not, but you do like to have activities other than the regular sleepovers and an occasional trip to the movies or dinner, YES! Isn't that the point of getting in the relationship in the first place? But I digress.. so you get to the point where you feel your kindness is being taken for granted.. not too much time after (if not resolved) the relationship ends. I truly understand that not every attempt to "make it last forever" is not supposed to succeed.. but WHY.. 3 months later (or 3 minutes later).. do we get the same song and dance... "You know I always loved you girl.. I know I messed up.. Don't you love me anymore?.. Give me one more chance". I have come to the conclusion that men want what they can't have.. and if you give them what they ask for.. they still find a way to become paralyzed with "committment phobia" and run for the hills... or.. maybe I'm dating the wrong men... EUREKA!


Thursday, November 27, 2008


Happy Thanksgiving to all our family and friends. Yes, that is my Thanksgiving dinner creation.... and yes, your girl killed that turkey(figuratively of course). Since my home was neutral territory for my now divorced parents, I'd say the day went off without a hitch. Turkey, red velvet/key lime cake (don't hate), and football... priceless! I'm going to sleep now. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


I thought I'd never see the day. This comes in a close 2nd to the election of Barack Obama as 44th President. Just a few short months ago, I would cringe at the gas pump paying $4.00/gallon. Remember the GAS SHORTAGE of '08. Gas is now at $1.64/gallon. I feel like I should buy a bunch of canisters, hoard as much as I can and store them in a deep freezer. I'm pretty sure I would violate several fire codes.

HP Pavillion Notebook

If sonograms were around in the mid '70's, I'm pretty sure the doctor would have seen a rectangular object attached to a zygote that 9 months later would become all that is good and perfect.. otherwise known as "me". The worst thing they could've done was invented wireless. This contraption never leaves my side.

Blackberry Curve

Not that the Pavillion is enough, but I now am addicted to this mini computer that plays ringtones. Not that I need to view my junk email every 10 minutes or send random texts about how NeNe from the Real Housewives of Atlanta almost tore that wig off Kim's head. I can now update my Facebook and Twitter accounts from my mobile, so everyone can know what I'm doing every second of every day. FUN TIMES!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Foreplay begins with taking out the garbage!

I am not sure that men get it! We, as the female species, are TOTALLY into an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION prior to having a SEXUAL CONNECTION. If your man pisses you off, of course, you are not going to be in the mood. HOWEVER, we must realize that on average, statistics show that men think about sex 6-10 times a day and hopefully, they are thinking about us!!!! Men- the key to a fulfilling sexual relationship is thinking about us in other ways than the in bedroom. If you are not doing so already, start washing the dishes when you get home (yes, we are tired and we have been dealing with the children since we got home from work.) How about folding the clothes that are in the laundry room that have been sitting there all week. How about taking the children off of my hands for a couple of hours on Saturday so that I can get my nails done! Please watch this segment from " My BFF- Oprah" If it does not ring home to you, I will bet that it does to someone you know!!!!
Please note: I am not a proponent of withholding sex from your man because you are pissed off. Just take the time to help them understand your needs. I am a strong believer of if you wont, I PROMISE YOU, someone else will..... or you may find someone else :)
Continuing to keep it real......

Watch the Oprah click here

Sunday, November 23, 2008


If the Lord Jesus Christ was handing out grades for church attendance, I'd be going to His office hours begging for extra credit or make up work. Whether it is my stubbornness or laziness (I haven't figured out which one), but I still find it a challenge to get out of bed early Sunday morning to make it to early service. Not only does it make the Lord jump with glee, my mom gives me high fives when I surprise her by just showing up. So I had a little talk with Jesus, and we both decided I needed an incentive (hey, whatever works). Starting humming your favorite old negro spiritual.. cause your girl is now a proud member of the Cascade Door Keepers or CDK to those on the streets.. or just plain old usher board for everyone born before 1955. To serve does give you a sense of purpose other than just sitting in the pew. Not to knock my regular church goers, but knowing that others are depending on you to be there to assist makes it harder to punk out when you were out late the night before. Since I was the newbie, my assignment was pretty easy. I was told by an elder, during offering pass the basket to the next pew. I guess you don't get a door post until you got a few Sundays under your belt. I just had to smile and say Good Morning. It definitely put me in a better mood. Even though I don't always want to admit it, mama was right. Just a few hours surrounded by the holy spirit makes the day a little brighter. Is this a sign that I'm getting old? Maybe.. but I'm okay with that. Mothers' pearls now have more meaning.

Saturday, November 22, 2008


Yesterday, I experienced the highest level of the "itis" known to man. My mother and I had a lunch date at This Is It BBQ around the corner for a little girl talk. I chose the 2 piece whiting lunch special with mac and cheese and lemonade. I knew it was going to be a man down/code 10 situation when at the table I started slurring my words and my eyesight became blurry. Thank God my moms was driving, cause I was legally impaired. The lemonade wasn't that Country Time substitute, but that home made ghetto lemonade that is so sweet it leaves a lump in your throat.. where you should probably ask for a side glass of water, but you can't peel yourself away from the enticing taste of pure raw sugar. With the takeout box in hand, we made our journey home. After getting home, letting the dog out, and going upstairs to just rest my eyes.. I woke up 3 solid hours later from a coma like sleep not knowing my name or my surrounding initially. My head was cloudy, and throat dry, but my stomach was full. I'm going back tomorrow!

Thursday, November 20, 2008


RZA - Grits

Somebody left the camcorder running and got all caught up in your cousins enjoying another blissful day at the corner of Broke & Triflin'. Nobody knows how they got Uncle Nook Nook to lip sync, shave his beard, while displaying that raw emotion right into the camera all at the same damn time. Can we call a prayer circle and ask the Lawd Gawd to guide Nook Nook's hand while shaving against the grain with that Lady Bic? .. and that's only in the first 40 seconds. I thought it was another episode of "That's My Broke Ass Mama". Y'all tell me how it ends.. I can't!

Kinishiwa Bitches!!


For those of you who say money can't buy happiness.. Pardon me while I take you out back and beat you down with a sock full of nickels. J & B (that is my nickname for them cause I got them on speed dial) tops Forbes power list of Hollywood Couples. Is that the sound of Dame Dash asking for his life back?.. and he chose to roll with "Pop Champagne" Jim Jones.. classy! $162 MILLION was the combined total for last year. Somebody needs to nominate them for a cabinet position, but Jigga may run into some issues with that vetting situation. I'm just sayin..
I won't feel bad getting that double disc on bootleg.. they don't need my pennies.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

So much for money, Your HEALTH Is the most important!

Okay Peeps,
After a weekend of what I thought was a NDE (Near Death Experience) I am back and LIVELY as ever!!! I feel renewed!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! On Saturday at around 3AM, I woke up in a state of panic!!!! My head was pounding on one side and I thought I was well on may way to join Elizabeth (Sanford & Son) I decided to wait and see how it played out over the weekend and Sunday I was FINE! However, on Sunday evening after having a martini with a few of my girls (one celebrating a divorce-HALLELUJAH!!!) came home, forgot, and took a Rx allergy medication! I woke up and really thought Jesus was calling me home! Nonetheless, I have severe sinus infection, that can be treated with antibiotics and no partying with my girls....FOR NOW! I am here to tell you, after sitting in the ER today, praying to God to just let me please have my health and let me see my daughter grow up, I don't care how much money you might have, you may be able to buy better health care but never your health!!! Take care of yourselves people! WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE!!! Live it to its fullest!

Monday, November 17, 2008


Ah, fully loaded, ah yes! Well not fully loaded, but maybe a little tipsy off of a bootleg martini mix and lemonade. I'm definitely not drunk, since I haven't started drunk dialing yet, maybe a little drunk texting, but that's harmless.. right? It was just one of those days where I need to sit in a dark corner and have a little talk with myself with a drink in my hand. It's all about a little self reflection. Not that I regularly deal with my problems with liquor, but I had a pretty uneventful day and a refrigerator full of leftover libation from an all girls weekend a few months back. I can totally understand without a good conscious and some supervision, it is easy to slip into "Hi, My name is.. ,and I'm an alcoholic". My source of discomfort is feeling that I have no help. I have to make decisions (solo) on everything. No one to divert to. No one to swoop in and save the day. Whether it's the light bill, renewing my car tags, buying a spare tire, paying a handyman to fix a toilet that has been running (unbeknown to me) for about a month. What tipped me off is my high ass water bill I got last week. Don't you sometimes wish you could go back to.. when you hit 18 and you had no REAL problems. My biggest problem at 18 was trying to schedule my college courses around the Young & the Restless. Sometimes you just want to be able to lay your head on somebody's shoulder and for them to pat you on the back and say "it's okay". I have great friends, and wonderful family, but sometimes you want/need more. As I'm coming down off my buzz, I have decided not to make this a regular occurrence, but it felt good while it lasted. Maybe I'll take the dog outside and walk it off.

Friday, November 14, 2008


The Rent Party - Good Times

It's getting that serious. Coming from a 100% commission based income in real estate, I don't need to tell you times are hard. If it wasn't for the fact that I don't want random stalkers showing up at my door, I would post a copy of my resume in the hopes one of our faithful readers could assist a sista in her career change. I've had to get real creative on figuring out how to bring extra change up in here ( won't take it to the poll), but the well is running dry. It is not beneath me to throw a rent/mortgage party, but I'm pretty sure almost everyone I would invite is in the same boat. The main two things I avoid these days are the mailbox and my online bank balance. It's time to put my hustle drive in 5th gear.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Thanks.. but no thanks!

Sex and The City - Berger breaks up with Carrie by post it note.

Can a post it or a text message be considered an acceptable mode of communication when kicking somebody to the curb? Anyone?? (looking for raised hands)

So what should the correct reaction be when you try to extend yourself to a person, who you've gotten to know over the months pretty well, developed a friendship (and a little more), you see them down and out and want to help, but you need them too (cause you got your own problems), and ignoring every impulse to run for the hills you stick your neck out, and you get served with a nice hot cup of rejection. I admit, timing is everything, and it is a proper way to do things, but sending the "I'm pumping the breaks speech" over text after they made you feel there was potential is not one of them. Let's just say, the car is now in park.

All I need is a muzzle....

He could get it.. If I had a muzzle! It must be "HUMP" day. Cause I'm getting that feeling. It must be bad too, cause I was watching Terrell Owens on David Letterman last night and let's just say the television was on mute. Mr. Owens is not my ideal of sexy, especially since 99% of the time he sticks his foot in his mouth... but seeing those defined muscles through that v neck... that visual is on point! I'm licking my screen.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Reality Show Recap

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Did I get my holiday wish early? It is the gift that keeps on giving. The catfight has escalated to a whole new level between the Housewives, and I love it! Between Dwight proclaiming he has sex 3 times a day (perish the thought), to Kim still being upset that NeNe told her the truth about her raspy, chain smokin', nails on the chalk board singing voice. Big Poppa must have some deep pockets to get Dallas Austin to entertain the bullsh*t for a half an hour. Of course, I screamed with astonishment when the paternity results came in to NeNe. This can't be real life. On the other hand, what is real.... Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is Season 3 premiere. Frankie (man down, holla) and Dwight need to get together and have an illegitimate child, name it Sassafras Jenkins (pronounced Jayn-kins) and raise it in the newly decorated doggie room... and some people wish for world peace! Seriously, Frankie is on that pipe.. watch.. it's going to come out in episode 3. Up with HOPE.. down with DOPE (compliments of the Juice!),

Get your urban news at DimeWars.Com

Monday, November 10, 2008

The house that slaves built

President Bush welcomes The Obamas to the White House.

Personally, I don't remember this story in history class. Thank God in 2008 we are able to rewrite history. The Final Call.. (I know) had an old article about how the White House was built. Interesting read. FYI.. the most over used phrases of the week.. "President-Elect" and "Transition to Power". January 20th.. hurry up already.

Sunday, November 9, 2008


No, not a fear of flying in an airplane. A fear of flying, soaring, reaching your fullest potential. To overcome the fear of flying, you have to not be afraid of failure. The failure part is the thing that gives you that big knot in your stomach when you are about to make a risky decision. In some aspects of life, it is easier to make the decision to risk it all. Myself and countless others have made risky business or career decisions. Some panned out.. some didn't. Even when I fail, I always know it is another opportunity around the corner. I find I'm so open to searching for new ways to challenge myself professionally. Allowing the unknown to be explored, even when the obstacles are mounting. I always think.. what do I have to lose? Of course those decisions are easier when you are a single woman and your only obligation is to an adorable 5 lb dog that likes to lick your feet. Taking a risk is a mind exercise. The further you push yourself into unchartered waters, the easier it is to do it the next time. Life is too short, and I know for a fact I've let opportunities pass me by due to the fear of flying. Oprah says it all the time.. Live your best life. So am I doing that being riddled with doubt? As I'm typing, I am clearly dancing around the main purpose for this post. I took my heart off my sleeve years ago. Vowed it wouldn't reappear until I met someone that went through hell and back to prove they were worth it. In my quest to protect myselft, I've gotten used to the fear and the doubt. In a way, I am cheating. I have this blog to vent all of this anonymously. MAKE IT PLAIN!! I want to reach the point where I am not afraid of the consequences of bearing my soul. In the last day, I heard a story of delayed destiny. Because of miscommunication and hurt feelings, these two people almost missed the opportunity of a lifetime by finding their soul mates. In my own way, I have to find a way to leave no stone unturned to make sure this guy knows how I feel. I'm taking my big girl pill. Here we go!
UPDATE: Only bear your soul to someone that deserves it. If he shows you that he is not worth it.. KICK ROCKS!

Saturday, November 8, 2008


Good Afternoon Children. It is time for another installment of HOW TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF.. AT THE CLUB. I'm working on my theme music for this post.

Let's go back September '07. In DC at one of my favorite night spots. One of my Brown Chicks is with me, and I'm siced (DC shoutout) to see Jay-Z live. So you know the spot was packed like rush hour on Friday. Our plan was to get there at a decent time and get as close to the stage without getting crushed. We find our spot, dance to the music, get shoved by security, and make some new friends while we are at it. The whole time in the back of my mind, I'm thinking.... I'm too old for this sh*t.. BUT.. I soldier on .. in 3 inch heels. After almost two hours.. me and my fellow "chick" are starting to lose hope, but then HOVA takes the stage. The stampede towards the stage commenses and I shoot a look to my friend as if to say "I came, I saw, I conquered". We made our way to the back were there was plenty oxygen available. We still actually had a good view of the stage from our safe zone in the back, and I'm thinking... I can chill right here.. until I feel someone's hind parts rubbing against my back. I'm thinking, all this extra room, why in the hell is this drunk broad trying to push up on me? Keep in mind.. I don't have a visual cause she doing the drop it like it's hot directly behind me. My rule is 3 strikes and you're out! So I give her 3 times to bump into me until I give her the hard elbow in the back. That got her attention. I'm feeling like Wonder Woman right about now. Who does she think she is? Well.. who she is .. is a 5'9" 300 lb drunk black chick with a Moet bottle in her hand and nothing to lose. (YIKES!!!) She steps in front of me (I'm 5' 125 and don't like to fight), waving the bottle in my face and says those undeniable fighting words.. "Is there a problem?". Ooooh sh*t! I shoot my "chick" the look of .. my emergency numbers are in my cell phone in case this broad knocks me unconscious and I wake up at Howard University Hospital not knowing my name. I got the reassuring look back from my side kick.. saying "I won't leave you .. if you get knocked the f*ck out". See, when you are with your tight girl.. no need for words, we intercept messages with just a facial expression. At this point, I have two choices. I can run for the door or stand my ground. I chose to stand my ground,very diplomatically (Team Tiny stand up!). I went all Barack Obama on her.. got real cool, like I was explaining the North America Free Trade Agreement to Sarah Palin. I knew one blow from this chick and it was over.. I'm no fool. After a few verbal exchanges, her friends coaxed her to walk away. I thank God everyday for those friends, cause I may have been still walking with a limp. So the lesson I learned from this incident.. I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SH*T!

Friday, November 7, 2008


Heartless - Kanye

No.. I don't hate Kanye. Not today anyway. Maybe I'm showing my age, but I love hip hop I can relate to. Some songs just speak to me. We've all been there. You've been in that relationship that was a complete waste of time, and it has reached a ridiculously stupid retarded level. All your common sense tells you to cut and run, but for some moronic reason you are still re hashing the dysfunction with the same person. I know some people say they can be friends with their exes. I can't.. (with most of them anyway). Maybe that is my flaw. Yes, there are 2 or 3 that don't make me cringe when I see them in public, and mostly all of them I can remain cordial.. BUT.. reverting back to "buddies".. hell to the nawh! After some time and distance, you do gain some perspective and those hurtful feelings do diminish, but you never forget the circumstances on why it ended. I feel like it wasn't just a relationship.. we were friends.. and if the other person did something so foul to break the relationship/friendship.. I have no words. That is why I like Kanye.. he wears his heart on his sleeve.. you see the good, bad, and the ugly.

Funny Movie Clips

Starting my weekend off right.. a few funny movie clips that made me chuckle. Honorable mentions go to Richard Pryor's "Which Way Is UP", "Cooley High", and "Friday". Enjoy!

Sexual Chocolate - Coming to America

You Asked For It, You Got It - Forget Paris

Baby Jesus - Talladega Nights

The Shootout - Harlem Nights (Hilarity ensues around 4:00)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Barack Obama's Speech at 2004 Democratic National Convention

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


So many times I rage and rant about the negative images that filter to our young black men. I'm a huge fan of music, even a bigger fan of hip hop and in the last few years I've seen it reduced from an art form to the cliche.. I got money, I got bitches, I'm the king. You know what I'm talking about. I can't tell you how many times I've been approached by the "wrong one" who thinks they just left the video shoot and can pull me with a bullsh*t line or put in no effort at all(you can read the extended text from my new book "Why I'm Single: Tales from the Dark Side"). Now, I will be the first to admit when I'm at a party I don't organize a boycott when I hear Little Wayne's "Mrs. Officer"... but I'm a grown a*s woman.. and I pay taxes.. so to that.. everything needs a balance. So now that we are on the day that history is being made with the general election, can Barack Obama taking the White House be that balance? So just imagine what can happen when President Obama's influence can trickle down to that young black male who now thinks its cool to have the dream of running for political office. Its bigger than the title, its the sense of empowerment. Some people want to minimize that aspect, but this is HUGE! So in a few years, when it is normal to see minorities (race and gender) in power, couldn't it be an easier sell to a young black teenager who thought about selling drugs to change direction and say "I want to be President"?

Sunday, November 2, 2008


Will somebody walk right up to this chick and wipe that goofy smirk off her face? She is in La La land. That smile is a front. Lets go inside her head.. shall we? She's thinking.. yeah.. I work at the car wash part time so I help my moms out and collect some loose change at the same time. But for real, that loose change be paying the cable, light, and cell phone bill. What she really wants is to win that $150 million dollar POWERBALL (eventhough she never plays the lottery), chuck the deuce to the car wash, move out of state (preferably DC), buy at PHAT rowhouse in Northwest, pay off all her debt (while cutting a check to some family members and a few key friends), donate to the needy, start college funds for her niece and nephew, have a girls weekend on some tropical island (being served Hottie Totties by barely clothed pool boys), do some more traveling, find her dream job (cause she won't care about the $$$), find her husband, pop out (or adopt) 2 or 3 kids, and skip off into the sunset. Piece of cake! FYI.. those hanging janitor keys are a mark of a LOSER, but that fitted khaki is to die for!

Somebody just roll right up on her and yell "WAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUP!".

Saturday, November 1, 2008

How to be the wife AND the "GIRLFRIEND"

Okay Ladies and Gentlemen,
This is a post for those of us that like to KEEP IT REAL! Although, Dr. Laura gets on my last nerve most of the time because I do not think she is totally realistic(to see her aspect on what love and marriage is all about go to She has a point in one area, you need to "date" your husband. I believe this is true. All of the effort you put into getting him, you need to think about what you need to do to KEEP him!! An 87 year old woman once told me, there are many women that, honestly, if you don't do it, ANOTHER WOMAN WILL..... Here is an idea that may keep him at home instead of going to "his boys house." My fellow "chicks" agree :)


Thanks to my new blog roll member Yeah, I said it, and what?.
There is more truth in here than comedy.. seriously. We should make a female version called "GET OFF ME" or "YOU COULD'VE KEPT THAT TO YOURSELF". It should be a big hit. Just imagine how smoothly that first date would go if they would say this upfront. Low expectations .. I say! Then if it is good, it's a complete surprise.
Favorite line... "chafing"! CLASSIC!

Friday, October 31, 2008


Ladies and Gentlemen,
We are technically 4 days away from THE BIGGEST ELECTION in our lifetime. I am here to tell you, If Senator Obama does not become the next President of the US, WE will not see a man of color in this position for a VERY LONG TIME!!! He has the ability, power, authority, education, and credentials to make the change that America needs. Attached, please find direct quotes from the November 1st edition of THE ECONOMIST< a magazine that I thoroughly respect and one that Gov. SARAH PALIN COULD NOT NAME IN HER INTERVIEW WITH KATIE COURIC!!! She actually could not name any.... she evaded the question AS USUAL....

Thank you to the Economist who has been very diplomatic throughout out this entire election and tried to state the current issues at hand as factually as possible.

Click here to read the article in its entirety:

Some standout quotes:

"For all the shortcomings of the campaign, both John McCain and Barack Obama offer hope of national redemption. Now America has to choose between them. The Economist does not have a vote, but if it did, it would cast it for Mr Obama. We do so wholeheartedly: the Democratic candidate has clearly shown that he offers the better chance of restoring America’s self-confidence. But we acknowledge it is a gamble. Given Mr Obama’s inexperience, the lack of clarity about some of his beliefs and the prospect of a stridently Democratic Congress, voting for him is a risk. Yet it is one America should take, given the steep road ahead."

Chelsea and Chocolate

My two favorite late-night combos, together again. Chelsea and some nice lookin' choc-co-late sittin' down for an interview. This time it's our favorite Southern cutie-pie, T.I. and last night Chelsea learned the real definition of Rubberband Man, while she spread her legs wide, flirted with her pink toes and rubbed her cleavage in front of ATL's finest. Ummm-hmmm. Not only that, she kept her signature dry humor going when she asked, quite craftly, I may add, about the mamas of his SIX babies. He let her know that one of the mamas is "significant". Hmmm, I just wonder who that could be. Please watch -- HILARIOUS!


I would like to introduce our new weekly post.. How to embarrass yourself...

Since I'm in the common habit of laughing at others (I'm going to counseling for this), I figured the Three Brown Chicks can turn the tables on themselves. So each week, one of the chicks will reveal something embarrassing. I think it will be very difficult for me since I am awesome and perfect in every way imaginable.


I dislike funerals. I'm never comfortable being among the non living. I haven't been to a funeral since my grandmother's passing in 2005. NEVER to make light of the pain associated with someone's untimely passing, I went to the funeral to show support for a former coworker. As usual, I'm late. So I find a parking space, jump out the car and see a line of fellow mourners entering the church. Because of my hastiness, I don't pay attention to see who is in the line. I follow the line inside and prepare myself for the viewing. Since the dearly departed was part of the Atlanta Police Department, the whole bottom level of the church was completely packed with APD officers. My first thought is "How do I get to the balcony?". Once I get down the aisle, I realize I'm in the "FAMILY" line. Oh no! How do I get out without looking like a complete LOSER? So as I proceed past the casket, I try to make a dash for the rear and was politely shoved by a senior member of the Usher Board into the family seating section. Cringe! How do you plead your case in the middle of a funeral to a 70 year old black woman with a stern look on her face holding a fan? I thought I heard the whispers of ..."who is that?" and "how is she sitting with the family?" I wanted to kick myself. It was evident I was not up to date on my funeral protocol. The only thing I could think of is I have to make my escape before the processional to exit. I did not want to be caught walking behind the casket. Luckily, the woman next to me got up to go to the bathroom, so I just followed her to the back and found appropriate seating with the rest of the non family mourners. EMBARRASSING!! SORRY JESUS.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


It was difficult for me to blog about the Hudson tragedy, because of the brutal nature in which these lives were taken and also now to know that her 7 year old nephew met the same fate. Without having all the facts and this medium not being a respected news outlet, please take the following comments as just opinions.

Being a single female, I will be the first to admit that I don't always pick the "right" guy. My past dating record is littered with a few "what was I thinking?" examples. We've all had our encounters with that mystical character known as the "bad boy". He's elusive, but we read that as he's complicated and sensitive. The dude, in your younger days (and some current), that may have not always had his sh*t together.. whether it was emotionally or financially, but you liked his game, swagger, he had a little pull. So you entertained his bullsh*t for a specified amount of time until that aspect was no longer attractive. Of course, once sex enters the picture, lets just say the situation can become cloudy. So while you're in the haze of excitement and good sex, your judgement may not always be clear. Is this what happened to Julia Hudson? Yes, her current situation is the worst result or consequence of making the wrong decision about who you decide to love... but were there signs.. yellow flags.. a flashing red light that she chose to ignore? Now, what I may consider to be deal breakers like.. an attempted murder charge.. may be considered water under the bridge by others. I'm by far not the only person that is thinking it, but I know Julia's heart is riddled with guilt over that fateful choice she made to bring this person into her life. It may have cost her family. In no way I am placing the full blame on her, but certain actions have consequences. Especially with an innocent child in the picture, they look to the parent to provide a safe environment. My heart sinks to think that little Julian King's life had to end over something he had nothing to do with.
Not having children, my view may be a little skewed.. but I listened as the mother of William Balfour defended him to the high heavens and proclaimed his innocense... even though he's had a violent past and a lengthy criminal record. We've all seen it before. I have relatives that defend their young sons to no end. Nothing is ever their fault, and they learn to take no accountability for their actions. I had a first cousin who was on the run from the police for a shooting, but his mother was ready to ship him off to Canada to save him from being prosecuted. She was an enabler. So he never learned the fundamentals of right and wrong. Those lessons that are never learned always manifest into someone else's tragedy. Just a thought..


As we all know by now.. Deshawn's exclusive "GALA" event fell flat on its face. Not to be cruel, since it was for a good cause.. BUT.. Dwight Eubanks, the resident gay husband and my new best friend was onto something when he enlightened NeNe on inviting free loaders to a charity event. This is Atlanta. The city's mission statement should read "We are a bunch of posers and we like free sh*t". We all must learn the hard way.. too bad Deshawn got schooled on national television. Better luck next time!

Sidenote: Does NeNe own a bra? (crickets chirping).. anyone.. really ... anyone?

Monday, October 27, 2008


Okay.. I know my faithful readers cannot wrap their intellectual heads around why 2 of the 3 "chicks" are obsessed with The Hills. I can't call it. Hey.. I had to take a break so I wouldn't overdose on all the 24 hour CNN coverage of the election. It has been 4 years in the making since Laguna Beach. Anyway, a short recap. Audrina is a complete idiot! If I ever see her in the streets, I'll hog tie her down, drive her to the nearest hospital and have a medical surgeon insert a spine into her back. This was the purest example of how the nice guy finishes lasts and is ruined for the next girl in line (usually me). Audrina dumps nice, sexy (with the Australian accent) Corey for wackass.. I don't take regular showers, and kiss other chicks in front of you Justin Bobby! It won't be cute 5 years from now when nobody cares about The Hills and Justin-Bobby has impregnated Audrina three times over and they are living in a trailer park on the outskirts of Culver City. For those of you who would be nauseated at the thought of watching a full episode, I will post a shorter version when the clip becomes available. I would post this under my reality show recap post.. but.. who are we kidding.... FYI.. Brandy (the singer) makes a cameo on this episode.. how do you spell D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E!

Friday, October 24, 2008


Hello People! Stick a fork in me.. I'm done! In the last month I've seen Atlanta Hartsfield Airport more than I've seen my mama, and she lives 10 minutes from me. I don't know how I'm doing it. I'm in ChicagoLand playing Mary Poppins to my niece and nephew while my sister is being whisked away for a well deserved vacay in Vegas with the hubby. The first full day is going smoothly, Scootie Poot (the one year old) is napping comfortably in her crib, and Stink Stink (the 3 yr old) is at school.. (PRAISE JESUS!). I'm getting a crash course on what it is like being a stay at home mom. I have to make this post quick, since I'm also need to be napping before Baby Jane wakes up and the other one needs to be picked up from school. I'm only 6 hours in. Oh.. and the party is not over. I was left with a full list of weekend activities. What one and three year old do you know that has a full social itinerary? I think I was hoodwinked! I thought I could stick a Happy Meal in their mouths, turn on Thomas the Train and call it a day. Not so! The three year old has no idea that his mama has abandoned him to go play footsie with his father somewhere in the middle of the desert (I'll be prepared for that tatrum), and that little one goes through more diapers than a newborn on prune juice. Let's just say she is VERY regular. I'll ask for your prayers while I'm knee deep in baby wipes and poop!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


If you missed it last night...OOOOOHHHHH you missed it. This has been the most HILARIOUS episode yet. From Ne Ne clowning Kim's cuuuuntry music demo songs, to Dallas Austin trying to not completely crack up when he heard it for himself, to more Ne Ne drama with her DNA dad...and finally, 50 percent of the housewives saying AXED (instead of asked) with their "new money" accents. DeShawn actually said "jew-ree"...what is that?!? There's and "L" in there classy lady! I know I am dogging it, but I LOVE this show. If you missed it, please catch the re-run ASAP!


Thank you JESUS! Yes, we do use this site as a gossipy, sometimes honestly shallow forum, but we love those juicy indulgences...and we plan to keep it going. But today, today I have to testify. Without going into too much revealing detail (sorry, maybe another day when this is all resolved) I have been going through some major D-R-A-M-A. Let's just say I was on the verge of throwing in the towel, and then, like usual, the Lord Jesus Christ stepped in. I was on the run, not listening, trying to solve it on my own. And then today the stars just aligned. I'm not saying this saga is completely over, but if you're going through something now, just trust, He will bring you out of it. It won't be without tears and sleepless nights, but please know it will be handled. God loves us all, and he wants us to be happy. At the very least, just remember that. Peace and blessings!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Yes, Ladies and Gentleman.. I voted today against my previous stance on voting on November 4th. Because my mind is twisted, I think everything is a conspiracy. Hearing all these shady stories about voting machine not saving the votes and tallying the wrong answers. I can see it now.. on CNN.. "Over 200,000 votes registered before November 4th disappear into thin air". Remember, this is Georgia. I for one do believe (in the back of my mind) that they will pull out all the stops before election day to make sure Barack does not get in office. I hope they prove me wrong.... so today.. I VOTED!!! early!

The Hills Have Eyes...Audrina FINALLY Wakes Up (almost)

Dear Audrina: Since I'm 30+, I can tell you that we've all been there...well at least I have. Liking the "bad boy" who you know likes you back, but not really enough. You may even be too young to remember the book, "He's Just Not that Into You". Although it was just a few years ago, you were probably still watching the Disney Channel. But now that you're all grown up, here's the deal...He will NEVER be that into you. I'm not being harsh, just honest. And believe me, it has nothing to do with you. Yes, you're still "HOT" as you and all of your other LA-area pink toes say, so don't question your beauty. I guess you're kind of smart, I mean smart enough pimp MTV for cold hard cash, so I'll give you that. But my dear sister, you have to wake up. First of all, don't go for a guy with a hyphenated first name. Justin-Bobby? C'MON! Second, he wears leather to the pool. And finally, he's all in your face, but is pumped when he "earns" his "free hall pass" to get on other chicks in Cabo. (RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!). So if that's not enough, partnered with Lauren's constant droning on about Colin being the better pick (although I have yet to see her in a successful relationship -- not sure why she's always got input) -- then please believe me...MOVE ON!

Monday, October 20, 2008


I knew this was going to happen. My fallopian tubes just did a double summersault with reverse landing off my uterine wall and I am completely jealous that Clay Aiken learned those dance steps faster than me (drat!). I know I have a few male readers.. so if you are not quite secure in your manhood, I suggest you not watch the above clip. I suddenly have a craving for Fruity Pebbles. Thanks to Crunk & Disorderly for the clip.


Nothing earth shattering here. Just surfing the net, like I do every morning. Wow, if I put half the effort into my PAYING job as I do on this blog, I might be able to pay off the Master Card by December. Anywho... just a few images that made me say.. WTF? FYI, I could've just gone downtown this weekend since BET brought their annual circus to town. I could've have plenty of material, but mama was too tired to indulge. I'll keep you updated on the foolishness as it filters to me. It is totally evident that I am completely bored today. Tomorrow is a new day...

Sunday, October 19, 2008


The relationship between fathers and daughters is so instrumental. After some surprising personal events over the last few days, it has caused me to self analyze why I am they way I am. Growing up the youngest daughter of two girls, I always felt that adoration from my father as a little girl. He was always very protective and doting. I think he looked at his family as a badge of honor, an accomplishment of progression on how he grew up. Not to delve too deeply into his past, but out of 14 brothers and sisters, he was crowned the "successful one" of the family. The one who against most odds left a very segregated and racist upbringing in West Virginia, to become one of the top 20 minority automobile dealers in the nation. Growing up, that is what I witnessed. The expectation that you could be a risk taker and be successful (which explains some of my recent career moves.. still working on the successful part).

I had the father that worked hard, but always came home, took his family on vacations, paid for private schools and college, the list goes on. Fast forward 20 years, that perfect family is now broken by divorce and that special relationship between father and daughter is all but non existent. Not a day goes by where I don't ask.. how did we get here? The infrastructure that was laid in my early years would've not predicted this outcome. The reach of this hidden dysfunction was more wide spread that I could've have ever imagined. As you hit your mid (early) thirties, you do alot of soul searching. Trying to figure out the meaning of things and why you go through certain experiences.

Let's do a little back tracking. While my father was a great provider and was present in the home, he was not that emotional father. Not a person you could go to if you had a problem about a neighborhood bully or a school boy crush. Maybe because he was very conservative and traditional in his beliefs, that responsiblity was solely given to my mother (The Nurturer). It was understood, that after a certain age, it was not cool to cry in front of my father. If caught doing so, you were ridiculed to no end. Maybe that was his way of toughening me up for the real world. Instead, it left a hole.

My father is the KING OF WITHDRAWAL. If you wanted to discuss a topic deemed too emotional, you were met with rejection (that fear of rejection is a beast). I've always wanted that father who would give you a hug, remember your birthday, just call you up to tell you that he loves you. For so long, I pretended that I didn't need that. I would mask my pain with indifference or in return distance myself emotionally from him. So how does that translate into current times? Everything is connected. I think when I begin the process of getting involved in a relationship with the opposite sex (dating), my selection process is quite detailed. If I get the sense that you can be respectful, have a sense of humor, allow me to be as silly and uninhibited as I can be... that is a start. Of course, that spark is very important. Sometimes it can take weeks, months.. dare I say YEARS for me to reach the point of REALLY LIKE.. I don't take it lightly. After all of this pre screening, I hope it would safe guard me from any pitfalls.

Now realistically speaking, I know there are always risks, and you can't control the other persons behavior.. BUT you usually can see some signs on how to proceed. So when I get to that crucial point and I let my guard down.. which is hard to do.. and that person withdrawals.. it is a flashback to the insecurity of my father. It's a defense mechanism.. we all have them. So my reaction is to do the same. I think I search for that closeness with the men that I'm romantically linked with, but end up sometimes choosing the guy that mimics my father (twisted.. I know). When I sense that rejection, I turn cold as ICE.

In everyday life, I'm a happy, funny (I think so), giving, loyal person who looks for the best in life. Just this one aspect I can't get a grasp on. Maybe the answer is in some way to try and resolve those issues of the past instead of letting them fester and die. I may have to "man up" and have the awkward conversation with my father. To ask why! Maybe it will clear up alot of unanswered questions and help me make better decisions in the future.

OH SNAP! part 2

Colin Powell officially endorses Barack Obama! Oh Snap!!! In your face McCain.. In your face!!!! (ha). Okay Condi.. we need you to step up to close this thing out. Let's bring it home. When the revolution comes.. Condi you might want to be on that email list... I'm just sayin..

OBAMA '08!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Lips So Soft

Nah, I'm not talkin 'bout that Avon product that fights off even the most giant mosquitos in the summer heat...I'm talkin 'bout LIPS so soft that feel like they are enveloping your face when you really get into that kiss. UMMMM-HMMMM. And the best lips are usually possessed by the Brothas. Sorry male "pink toes" this (among other areas) is where you just don't measure up. Just thoughts...and some early morning reminiscing. Thanks for reliving my pleasure moments with me. Time to eat some cereal and head back to dreamland.


The new Christian Louboutins

HAWT! My heart went a flutter just at a glimpse. If my foot arch could sustain.. I would show up to every high profile event (if I had life) with these shoes.. butt naked. Seriously, no one would be checking for my girly parts, they would be mesmerized by the sheer fierceness these corn coverers exude! Of course, I couldn't walk more than 100 feet at a time without resting, I would need atleast two handlers to make sure I was upright at all times, a doctor to safely surgically remove them at the end of the night, and a prescription for pain killers. That is the funny thing about women, we will shop at Old Navy or Target all day long, but we would go through unspeakable pain and put a second (third) mortgage on our house to rock these shoes for 30 minutes! Work b*tch!!

Friday, October 17, 2008


My lady pants got all in a bunch watching the latest news coverage that secret service are in the ATL to track down a few idiots sending hate mail to local residents. Check the article if you feel like being pissed off. I decided to focus on something to lift my spirits such as David Alan Grier's new show Chocolate News on Comedy Central. Dave Chappelle he is not, but close enough!

My personal favorite is the Velvet Slingshot.

Keep the party going!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

On My Way to Regina King-Like Hotness

Brenda's Got a Baby! What the?!? 227's Brenda done really growed up! Now I know like we all do, that Regina King has been working on the small and big screens since the early days of hangin' with Jackee' and Florence (I know her real name is Marla Gibbs) on the front stoop of 227, but GAWT DAYUUUM, she is looking HOT TO DEF these days. And ladies, when the somewhat "regular" chick turns hottie, you know you can get your tail in the gym and make it happen. No, we don't all have personal trainers or long dollars for a personal chef, but c'mon chicks, this is BRENDA! Don't act like you don't remember those feathered flip 'dos she had and the oversized sweatshirts when she was trying to get with Calvin. Since seeing this episode of Chelsea Lately, who by the way is one of my new "pink toe" BFFs of all time, I have been motivated to keep my workout going. Please watch the entire clip and look at her 'friggin LEGS. Okay, I am so straight, but my nipples are getting hard just watching this. YUMMY!


Now.. before you start to say how foul I am for posting this.. I had internal dilemmas all morning. While I do feel that no matter what size/shape you are, everyone has the right to exude their sexiness to whomever they choose. I don't know if she had a flashback of her younger days at Magic City, but some sh*t never needs to see the light of day. My prayer: "Kang Jesus, I humbly ask for your forgiveness for busting out into hysterics after viewing the above video. I pray that you will show me the light and help me to understand that it is not nice to laugh at others. In your precious name I pray ... AMEN!" The hysterics begin around 1:39!

Save me children!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


The Real Housewives of Atlanta

NeNe still reeling from getting played at Sheree's party last week was still in stank mode but pulled it together for Kim's siliconed themed birthday party for her adolescent daughter. This is soooooo Atlanta!


A face only a mother could love.. and the house sitter, grandma, and random neighborhood kids down the street. In the last day.. since returning from my trip to DC.. he's been acting a little strange. I'll find him glaring at me out of the corner of his eye.. watching my every move. You know how when you are sleeping and you get that scary feeling someone is watching you.. so you open your eyes to find Freddy Kruger standing over you with those damn fingers made out of Ginsu knives (that is my personal nightmare)? That was last night's episode, except Little Kingston was not in his bed, but standing near my bedroom door quiet as a mouse but ears and tail extended and a sharp look in his eye. All I know, since my return, I've had a black cat conveniently take a coffee break on my back patio, finding a nice size random dump near my luggage, and I think he rolled his eyes at me this morning. Somebody has some internal issues they need to work out. I don't know what is going on.. but if I see any signs of CUJO revisited.. he is out of here!