Sunday, April 26, 2009

It's hard out here..

It's like looking in a mirror, well.. not exactly. It looks like her and Gayle made a late night run to Menopause R Us. Yet, my soul still jumped with glee. Remember at the end of the movie Malcolm X when the little kids stood up and repeated "I am Malcolm X", and then another kid stood up and yelled "No, I am Malcolm X" and the one kid jumped up and punched the other one in the eye, and fight ensued? Okay, just kidding, but gazing at Oprah's unprocessed hair sent a chill down my spine. Any connection I can have with that woman made me jump up and say "I am Oprah Winfrey". To all the naturals of the world.. STAND UP!! I may have to run from humidity like a bat running from daylight, but me and Oprah are one and the same.. no weave.. no lye!


I'm pulling my size 5 out of my mouth as I type. Why did I hate on "Obsessed" so much? Check my post "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT". Lets look at the bigger picture. While I already have my preconceived notions about the movie, it reached number 1 at the box office with two leading African American actors, and last but not least... it was directed/produced by Rainforest productions.. FAMU GROWN!!! Is there an Oscar nod for Mrs. Carter right around the corner?.. umm nope, but I can put my HATERADE down and put up $8 for the cause.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Things that make you say..

Since the weather is starting to finally break, my air conditioning in my car started to do the same. So, I made my scheduled appointment at my dealer for the repair. The first quote for the service was $200. Okay, it's still highway robbery, but fools can't drive around with sweat puddles under their arms all summer. Then I get another call from my service writer 2 hours later, and they have magically found another problem.. now its my auxillary fan that needs to be replaced which has bumped the price to $900. Which was met with a deep long winded "SHEEEEEEE-IT!" (in my best Senator Clay Davis voice). I felt like calling my service writer a fish eyed fool. So, I'll locate my local car repair guy to fix the same sh*t for half the price (I ain't no dummy). So until then it'll windows down.. sunroof open.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


It truly saddens me to utter these words out loud, and I pray the House of Dereon will not hold it against me.. but.. erruuuhh.. B's suspect acting skills will have me hold off from paying my hard earned money at the theater. Is it me or does she have the same accent in every movie.. you know the Foxy Cleopatra with just a hint of Houston, Texas. I call it the Terrence Howard syndrome. Will I be front row at her DC stop for the I Am.. Sasha Fierce tour..? Absolutely (with a hookup), but I'll hit TV Shack for the bootleg version of "Obsessed". I remember when it was done the first time and they called it "Fatal Attraction".

Jesus Lawwwwwd (as my coworker would yelp), did I have the audacity to not mention my baby daddy Idris Elba? Lawwwwd, I drop to my knees and repent for the oversight. Okay, thats two Hell Marys and a promise to fry chicken on Sunday. Jesus Wept! Amen.


Did I miss the memo where it became a travesty to adopt/sale kids right here in the United States? While I do completely empathize with the mother of Rubina Ali for laying the smack down on her greedy stepmother for trying to sell her daughter into some type of child slavery, do you know how many neglected kids stuck in this country's child welfare system that need good homes? While I do find it sort of commendable that Madonna is trying to counteract all that sinning she did in her early twenties by now trying to adopt half of Malawi, isn't she from Detroit? Can't she just roll right up to a group home and pick out one or ten? On a serious note, my sister and her husband had the pleasure of adopting both their kids and giving them the opportunity for a better life, and they didn't have to cross the pond to do it. Just a thought..

Thursday, April 16, 2009

To Quit or Not to Quit?

A few weeks ago, I posted my PRELIMINARY rules for Face Book, however, it seems as though many of us feel the same way. Please read the attached. These are my rules + 1.  I agree 110% !! Should we break free?  

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


If the above pic caused you the throw up (just a little) in your own mouth, you can take one spoonful of Pepto and advance to level 2. If you find the above pic enticing, you forgot to take your tang vitamin today.
Now I just got off the plane from a magical weekend in the Windy City to commemorate Jesus' resurrection and I come back to this . There is so much wrong in this picture, I dare you to keep it under 4. I know SB puts his panties on one leg at a time just like the rest of us, but when does it stop. This took me back to when I was a shorty and my teeny bop crushes used to melt my heart with the dreams that one day we would be united in holy matrimony. Yes, Ralph "crooked teeth" Tresvant was at the top of my list. I miss the 80's. Now I can't get that damn song out of my head.. "Hopped up out the beeeeed..."

Friday, April 10, 2009

Is the circus in town?

The above pic now constitutes as a luxury loaner these days.

These auto bailouts got these auto makers shaking in their boots. I don't want to keep perpetuation the term "recession", cause like most of you.. I need to be optimistic about my financial situation.. BUT, I dropped off my luxury SUV for service this morning. Now I'm used to getting a loaner comparable to what I drive on a regular basis. That's part of the perk of owning one of the luxury brands.. it gives them an excuse to let you test drive the newer model in the hopes you come back ready for a trade in (trade up). They set all kind of traps, like eliminating the separate waiting room and making you sit on the showroom floor with the newest, phattest, fully loaded model of the current car you are getting serviced. We've all done it.. you go sit inside that brand new 760i with the heated steering wheel trying to figure out how you can make those payments. Cut out eating for a year, or sell a kidney? Umm no. So as I'm daydreaming.. sitting in that 2009 4.8 X5, intoxicated by the smell of new leather, my service writer pulls up in what looks like a cross between a clown car and a luxury go cart. Do I have my bourgeoisie hat on today? So not trying to be a car snob, but can I get the keys to that suped up 645 convertible parked in the back? He politely smiled and said "This is all we got". As much money I'm about to drop to repair my cv boot (not sure what that is exactly), can you appease me just a little? I know a car is too small when a 5 footer (such as myself) started to feel claustrophobic. My car will be ready by 4.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Peace in the Middle East

And the lovefest continues...

How can one man bring so much hope and prosperity and was a mere unknown just over 3 years ago? I am still amazed at the love affair the whole world is having with our President Obama. It got me thinking, I'm going to take of page from his play book. I'm starting my own personal lovefest today... to everybody! That's right blog readers.. I LOVE YOU! When I see you on the street, I'm going to open my arms to embrace you. If I walk past you in the hallway and say "Hello", and you don't respond.. I won't suck my teeth and roll my eyes or kick my leg out and try to trip you (except for one particular security guard in my building that totally hates his job), instead I'll sing a phrase from Patti Labelle's "Somebody loves you ba-bay.. woah, woah, wooooooah!". I'm going to take my ego out of all situations and act out of LOVE! When you cut me off in traffic, I'm not going to throw up the middle finger salute.. no way.. I'm going to blow you a kiss and say a prayer. Do you feel the love?.. cause I do!

Friday, April 3, 2009


While I do think sometimes it is very sexy to see a man uncover his emotions, the sob fest I witnessed last night had me checking for my own sack (ewww!). Everybody is trying to figure out what's wrong with Q. I know what his problem is.. he's GAY!! He is coming to terms with his alternative lifestyle. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, just come out of the closet already. If you ask me, Dawn has more testosterone than her man (gay husband). The truth will set you free..

Funniest moment.. during the fight sequence, Q is being lazily held back my Big Mike, while it took Willie, Robert, the producer, and a few cleaning ladies to hold Brian's 5'2" frame back. Will the fighting ever stop?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Life is full of cycles. From birth to death, everything reverts back to the beginning. Over the past few years, my mother has been caring for my elderly grandfather in her home. After much soul searching, she had to make the agonizing decision to put him in a nursing home. My dearly departed grandmother met the same fate a few years back due to Alzheimers before her passing in 2005. So I know my mother's anguish. My grandfather's mind is still pretty sharp, but his body can't keep the pace any longer. It is like becoming a child again. While home over the weekend, it hit me that the end may be near. Not to sound morbid, but something in his eyes seemed different.. like the will to live was slowly leaving him. He's told me on many occasions that he's ready to leave God's Green Earth in the hopes of reuniting with my grandmother (Sooter) again. I know this cause every nurse that comes in the room he calls them Ezell (Sooter's government name). That theme became more prominent after being widowed. He knows there is nothing left for him to do here. Still in awe of his clarity at the wise age of 93. Watching my mother feverishly care for him has allowed me to have this same conversation with her. "You know you'll have to move in with one of us (my sister is in Chicago) when the time comes." I said. Remarkably, I could see a tinge of rebellion as she rolled her eyes to say "If you have to put me in a home, I'll be alright." :o( I know that reality is atleast 20 years away.. God willing.. but the conversation has to happen now. Now, I just have to figure out how to have the same conversation with my pops.