We all see it everyday. This unwanted behavior. I believe there is a need for a certain level of decorum in any environment. The gym is supposed to be a place of solitude. I'm focused on getting rid of this 3 lb donut around my waist. There are certain things that are affecting my progress.
THE PRETTY ONES...
I'm definitely not one to hate on anyone that takes pride in their personal appearance, BUT.. why are you setting of for "Body Works" in full makeup that by the end of class will culminate into a dirty sweat puddle on the floor? I try not to channel the Bride of Frankenstein during my workouts, but the hairy pits and that inconspicuous whole in your work out gear (almost always near the crotch region) is a bit much. My last request... I don't appreciate standing behind you for 45 minutes in class with a clear view of your purple/pink polk a dot thong. Save that sh*t for the next time you audition for a Plies video.
THE OVER/UNDER ACHIEVER...
If you haven't taken step class in the last two years, why must you set up your step front row center and then proceed not know any part of the routines? Or.. you instead decide that you are the instructor and create your own dysfunctional routine complete with sound effects (all that grunting is unnecessary). I need you to slide to the left and 4 steps back to the Beginner's Section. My absolute favorite.. you decide to pony up 3 risers instead of the standard one only to be left doing a rocking motion from side to side while trying to catch your breath only 10 minutes in or you get too cocky with that "reverse turn straddle" and your a*s has an unexpected meeting with the hardwoods (ouch). And yes.. I chuckle on the inside.
Just a little tidbit for the men. If you are not over the age of 60 or senile, biker shorts and a Fila headband with matching wrist bands are never appropriate.
My personal favorite workout tune (from the strip club vaults) - "Calling My Phone"
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