Friday, September 19, 2008

Just one of those days..


The look on her face speaks to the depths of my soul. Haven't you had one of those days where you were sick of complete bullsh*t? To the point where you are considering prescriptive meds to control your erratic thoughts of violence and purchasing a pistol. I needed a catcher's glove for all the sh*t thrown my way yesterday. A day later, I can now reflect calmly and check my "b*tch-o-meter" to make sure my reactions to the bullsh*t were appropriate. First up.. I come downstairs for a little breakfast, open the refrigerator door and was almost knocked over by the smell of what seemed like decaying turkey meat.. that I just bought the day before. Now.. I just got this GE side to side Profile fixed about 3 months ago which put a sizeable whole in my wallet. So you know I was heated to dig for 2 hours to find the receipt with my service warranty and call the number to find it's disconnected. (SON OF A B*TCH!)
Next up... Rushing on a Friday on 285 at lightning speed to make an appointment. You are almost to your destination and an old bitty (she wasn't that old) proceeds to cross three lanes (no blinker) and pull over in front of you and to tap her brakes. (WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!). Are you serious? Followed up by a look of confusion when you give her the DOUBLE WHAMMY (that's a middle finger up and leaning on your car horn for atleast 12 seconds).
The Finale.. You finally reach home after a long and heinous day to find you can't pull into your driveway because your next door neighbor's boyfriend has parked his 1985 Cutlas Cierra in front of your house. Your first instinct is to floor it into his rear bumper and then proceed to park in the driveway, but you remember if he is driving a maroon Oldsmobile with the missing door handle and gold tint.. he probably didn't pay that Geico bill this month. So you count backwards from 10 and walk to the front door to calmly ask.. "Can you move your sh*t?".. to be only be greeted by someone peaking through the stained blinds and then not answering the door at all. (MOTHER TRUCKERS!!)

I NEED A HUG!

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