Thursday, August 14, 2008
SHOOT ME NOW..
Madison's version of "Lollipop"
Ladies and Gentleladies.. the Apocalypse is upon us. I dropped to my knees.. clutching mama's pearls around my neck and screamed in angst.. MAKE IT STOP! Like the warnings layed out for us in the Holy Book of Revelations (no blasphemy).. I do believe this is a sign. I fear just typing these words will cause my already shaky DELL to take a dirt nap. Follow my directions carefully... and you will survive the ORANGE level situation.
1. If any blonde, caucasian female (the others) approaches.. do not.. I repeat.. DO NOT.. look them directly in the eye. Nod politely.. make a 180 turn and run like hell.
2. If any of "the others" ask to view your Dirty South playlist on your Ipod, politely tell them you shipped your Ipod back to Apple for a major recall and you've never heard of Lil' Wayne.
3. If they catch you off guard.. always have a copy of "By All Means Necessary" by KRS 1, blast that sh*t as loud as you can in their direction from your car stereo. That sh*t is like cryptonite to those b*tches. Make sure you have Talib Kweli or Chuck D on speed dial.
4. If that doesn't stop them.. you'll need 1 gallon of Red Coolaid (extra sugar), a bowl of chitterlings, a pig foot, a loosey (preferably Black & Mild). Walk backwards in a circle singing the lyrics to "Young, Gifted & Black" by Aretha Franklin.
This is what will happen if hip hop continues to go to the masses.. you've been warned!
UPDATE: On the flip side, I am not mad at Little Jesse McCartney for covering T Pain's "Buy You A Drank". I would gladly relinquish the entire T Pain catalog in exchange for someone destroying the voice box machine.
"Let's get gone.. walk it out"..
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1 comment:
Did you just say you were clutching mama's pearls???? TOO FUNNY! The only thing that was not funny was this damn video. I have never heard of Madison but why did Lil'Wayne let her record that song? And why is she singing the song to a girl? And why is she moving her tongue like that?
The world is coming to an end. I think we need to do a little extra to survive this code ORANGE. We need to have a little bottle of Texas Pete hot sauce to sprinkle on those chitterlings and some malt liquor to blow in the the face of "the others" when they get to close. This is not a game!
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