WITH GASOLINE DRAWERS..

Only in B'more. Talk about taking the Lord's name in vain, I don't think King Jesus would approve. I had to hurry up and release this foolishness from my conscious with only a few hours to spare from the Sabbath. I figure by tomorrow I could've constructed an appropriate prayer for the two souls talked into showing their faces in the above commercial. With my hands outstretched, I yelp "BAIL OUT, BAIL OUT, BAIL OUT!!"

WHEN "I LOVE YOU" IS NOT ENOUGH...

Knowing this picture was photo shopped, it's the thought that counts.. right? With all the ups and downs Shaunie & Shaq have had over the past few years, it's nice to see them in a better place. Speaking of.. I wonder how they got here? Just a few years back, allegations were flying back and forth, infidelity claims, hiding money.. what brought the love back? Is that the same love that will bring Nas and Kelis back together, or my mom and pops after 34 years of marriage (not holding my breath for that one). I need details. That picture also made me think about people, and my relationships, how things end up from point A to B (did I lose you yet?). I think about the complexities of relationships and how fragile things really can get. (I hope to pull my thoughts together any minute now). I guess I'm having a day of reflection. Over the past few weeks, I've had two exes in particular, share with me that I may have been the one that got away. Translation.. I've dated a bunch of losers since we parted ways, and now I realize I should've stuck it out with you. While I do get momentary satisfaction, my question is "What's the point?". One was the high school sweetheart. You know that VERY first boyfriend that you just knew you were going to marry and have kids with at the wise age of 18, and the one that completely shocked you when he broke your heart for the first time. The other, the most recent significant other. The one that seemed long term and had potential until one day it just magically fell apart right in front of your very eyes. Ya know, you invest almost 2 years in, family meet and greet, semi co habitation, Sunday morning church services together and then one day.. you think to yourself.. "Nope, not it". So, you rehash who did what, apologies follow and all is supposed to be right with the world? Not quite. This seems to be a repeating theme over the last few relationships, and the common denominator is ME. Is it clarity or is it just adding to my confusion? Moving on..

I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING..

Inspiration hit me right up side the head like that time when I was 12 and told my pops to "kiss my ass" under my breath (or so I thought) and woke up an hour later in the ER.. (I kid.. I kid). I'm so about to chop off all my hair for the summer, but I know I'll be craving that shoulder length when the hawk hits in the fall and I'm not a big fan of the weave. Short hair is HAWT for the summer. Ya know what else is hawt?.. tonguing down random fine ass dudes (i.e. Jaime Foxx) for no particular reason at all. Now I understand how Halle won that Oscar. All that raw emotion got me sweating near my girly parts. (blushing) Question: How she supposed to go back to her blonde haired, blue eyed baby daddy after all that friction? Anybody???

CHRIS BROWN CALLED, HE WANTS HIS PR TEAM BACK

I know I'm a few days late with my Chris Brown commentary on his latest blog rant, but when the weather warms up, I come out of my cocoon like a social butterfly.. i.e. "I got other things better to do with my time than blog every day". (I'm working on it though). First, if you're trying to up your profile by video blogging, do not.. I repeat.. DO NOT have Lil Bow Wow cosigning in the background. That's like having Monique vouch for you at a Weight Watchers meeting. STOP IT!! I know everybody's innocent until proven guilty, but where's his PR team? Mama? Somebody??? Is Princess Ri-Ri making side comments or posting her opinion on youtube for the tween scene to comment? Nope! Example.. when my dog takes an unsolicited sh*t in the house, does he go straight to youtube to deny? No.. he runs to his bed wide eyed and scared praying I don't find the poop.. he keeps his silence. Now if my dog got the memo, can Breezy get on the bandwagon?

ROOTS..

I've been surrounded by alot of family lately, which is somewhat new for me. I grew up with just immediate family since my pops made us modern day nomads since the young age of 3 (Anybody seen my camel?). I never regretted not staying in a town longer than 5 years, cause I was exposed to so many different environments. I also understood that my parents were trying to give my sister and I a better life than they experienced. I wonder what kind of girl would I have turned out to be if we settled down in Shaker Heights, Ohio (somewhat limiting I think). Oh, but the flip side slapped me right upside the head yesterday. Right across town in Northwest DC, nestled on a quiet city block lined with trees and rowhouses, I met more 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins (from my pops side). You don't realize how much you miss the smell of home cooking until you walk into a kitchen filled with fried chicken, sweet potatoes, cabbage, rice, green beans, corn bread, and "the icing on top".. pink coolaid (yummy). Remember in the Derek Fisher movie, at the end when Derek just got back from seeing the crackhead mama that abandoned him as a baby and he walks back into the house to be greeted by aunties, uncles, and the Queen Mother that looked like she was hanging on by a string? That's how I felt (maybe not that dramatic). Reminds me of Sunday dinners at my house during my childhood. Some cousins sitting at the table recounting old stories of the old days in Fairmont, WV, to the younger cousins sitting in that small room right off the kitchen watching the playoffs, while the elders were on the back porch talking shop. A house full of laughter. I thought to myself. That's how I want my kids to grow up, surrounded by family. Just thinking out loud...

MOMMY!!

That's my mom in the middle.. please don't tell her she's made it to the blog!!!

I'm very blessed. I guess that is the best way to some up God's gift to me in the form of my mother. I may be a little biased, but you know how when you first meet someone and their warmth and inner light is so obvious. When (new) people meet my mother, that is the first thing they say, without even really knowing her. It's more than that sweet Southern Belle hospitality that radiates. The Great Nurturer is what I call her. I still struggle to grasp the full understanding of that quality. Simply, her greatest role in life is being a mother. The things that make me smile about her.. when I go home, I still can't leave a dish or glass on the kitchen counter for more than 5 minutes unattended or it mysteriously disappears to the dishwaher, how she refuses to go to bed before 11 pm each night eventhough she is in a deep nod on the couch by 9:30p, when she leaves me a voicemail that starts with "Hello, this is mother" (like I don't recognize her voice), when I used to sneak into church (late) I could always find her on the same pew/same spot... and last but not least.. she has become an adoptive parent to my beloved Yorkie as if he were her own. Things that I used to consider as nagging are now quite endearing, just part of her charm. All the sacrifices, all the times she was there when I didn't even know it. I look forward to the day when I can be that kind of mother. Everything that she is will shape me in the mother I hope to become. I love you Mommy! (sniff sniff)

4 INCHES..

Those Charles David, patent leather, 4 inch, gold buckled sandals are the DEVIL!!

I remember the good ole days. Back in college, when I could roll out to an Alpha, Kappa, random house party in my cut offs, tank top, and flip flops and that was considered appropriate attire. Yeah, that was circa '91, and the french roll was in, but everybody was on the same page. I don't know if I can compete. Out with my girls last night, and while I had a great time doing my best version of the "stanky leg", I almost lost a toe. See, when you cut off blood supply to an extremity there's alot of pain involved. It's sad I have to plan my walking distance to the spot, and once I get inside I'm looking for the first chair.... and that practice walk we do in Nordstrom, when we're trying on the shoes don't count. That is false advertising! They need to give you a make shift runway and let you walk non stop for 10 minutes and then you get to figure out if you'll need foot surgery or not. I say we go back to the flip flops.. let's all band together.. they got'em at Old Navy for $3 a piece.. we'll be comfortable and save money. Then I won't have to go back to my car doing the "I'm trying to hold good posture and be sexy, but I'm in agonizing pain" walk. Won't you join me?