Three Brown Chicks

WITH GASOLINE DRAWERS..

2009-06-06T18:48:00.002-04:00

Only in B'more. Talk about taking the Lord's name in vain, I don't think King Jesus would approve. I had to hurry up and release this foolishness from my conscious with only a few hours to spare from the Sabbath. I figure by tomorrow I could've constructed an appropriate prayer for the two souls talked into showing their faces in the above commercial. With my hands outstretched, I yelp "BAIL OUT, BAIL OUT, BAIL OUT!!"

WHEN "I LOVE YOU" IS NOT ENOUGH...

2009-06-05T11:07:00.004-04:00

Knowing this picture was photo shopped, it's the thought that counts.. right? With all the ups and downs Shaunie & Shaq have had over the past few years, it's nice to see them in a better place. Speaking of.. I wonder how they got here? Just a few years back, allegations were flying back and forth, infidelity claims, hiding money.. what brought the love back? Is that the same love that will bring Nas and Kelis back together, or my mom and pops after 34 years of marriage (not holding my breath for that one). I need details. That picture also made me think about people, and my relationships, how things end up from point A to B (did I lose you yet?). I think about the complexities of relationships and how fragile things really can get. (I hope to pull my thoughts together any minute now). I guess I'm having a day of reflection. Over the past few weeks, I've had two exes in particular, share with me that I may have been the one that got away. Translation.. I've dated a bunch of losers since we parted ways, and now I realize I should've stuck it out with you. While I do get momentary satisfaction, my question is "What's the point?". One was the high school sweetheart. You know that VERY first boyfriend that you just knew you were going to marry and have kids with at the wise age of 18, and the one that completely shocked you when he broke your heart for the first time. The other, the most recent significant other. The one that seemed long term and had potential until one day it just magically fell apart right in front of your very eyes. Ya know, you invest almost 2 years in, family meet and greet, semi co habitation, Sunday morning church services together and then one day.. you think to yourself.. "Nope, not it". So, you rehash who did what, apologies follow and all is supposed to be right with the world? Not quite. This seems to be a repeating theme over the last few relationships, and the common denominator is ME. Is it clarity or is it just adding to my confusion? Moving on..

I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING..

2009-06-01T11:32:00.005-04:00

Inspiration hit me right up side the head like that time when I was 12 and told my pops to "kiss my ass" under my breath (or so I thought) and woke up an hour later in the ER.. (I kid.. I kid). I'm so about to chop off all my hair for the summer, but I know I'll be craving that shoulder length when the hawk hits in the fall and I'm not a big fan of the weave. Short hair is HAWT for the summer. Ya know what else is hawt?.. tonguing down random fine ass dudes (i.e. Jaime Foxx) for no particular reason at all. Now I understand how Halle won that Oscar. All that raw emotion got me sweating near my girly parts. (blushing) Question: How she supposed to go back to her blonde haired, blue eyed baby daddy after all that friction? Anybody???

CHRIS BROWN CALLED, HE WANTS HIS PR TEAM BACK

2009-05-29T14:55:00.003-04:00

I know I'm a few days late with my Chris Brown commentary on his latest blog rant, but when the weather warms up, I come out of my cocoon like a social butterfly.. i.e. "I got other things better to do with my time than blog every day". (I'm working on it though). First, if you're trying to up your profile by video blogging, do not.. I repeat.. DO NOT have Lil Bow Wow cosigning in the background. That's like having Monique vouch for you at a Weight Watchers meeting. STOP IT!! I know everybody's innocent until proven guilty, but where's his PR team? Mama? Somebody??? Is Princess Ri-Ri making side comments or posting her opinion on youtube for the tween scene to comment? Nope! Example.. when my dog takes an unsolicited sh*t in the house, does he go straight to youtube to deny? No.. he runs to his bed wide eyed and scared praying I don't find the poop.. he keeps his silence. Now if my dog got the memo, can Breezy get on the bandwagon?

ROOTS..

2009-05-18T14:41:00.003-04:00

I've been surrounded by alot of family lately, which is somewhat new for me. I grew up with just immediate family since my pops made us modern day nomads since the young age of 3 (Anybody seen my camel?). I never regretted not staying in a town longer than 5 years, cause I was exposed to so many different environments. I also understood that my parents were trying to give my sister and I a better life than they experienced. I wonder what kind of girl would I have turned out to be if we settled down in Shaker Heights, Ohio (somewhat limiting I think). Oh, but the flip side slapped me right upside the head yesterday. Right across town in Northwest DC, nestled on a quiet city block lined with trees and rowhouses, I met more 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins (from my pops side). You don't realize how much you miss the smell of home cooking until you walk into a kitchen filled with fried chicken, sweet potatoes, cabbage, rice, green beans, corn bread, and "the icing on top".. pink coolaid (yummy). Remember in the Derek Fisher movie, at the end when Derek just got back from seeing the crackhead mama that abandoned him as a baby and he walks back into the house to be greeted by aunties, uncles, and the Queen Mother that looked like she was hanging on by a string? That's how I felt (maybe not that dramatic). Reminds me of Sunday dinners at my house during my childhood. Some cousins sitting at the table recounting old stories of the old days in Fairmont, WV, to the younger cousins sitting in that small room right off the kitchen watching the playoffs, while the elders were on the back porch talking shop. A house full of laughter. I thought to myself. That's how I want my kids to grow up, surrounded by family. Just thinking out loud...

MOMMY!!

2009-05-10T11:20:00.003-04:00

That's my mom in the middle.. please don't tell her she's made it to the blog!!!

I'm very blessed. I guess that is the best way to some up God's gift to me in the form of my mother. I may be a little biased, but you know how when you first meet someone and their warmth and inner light is so obvious. When (new) people meet my mother, that is the first thing they say, without even really knowing her. It's more than that sweet Southern Belle hospitality that radiates. The Great Nurturer is what I call her. I still struggle to grasp the full understanding of that quality. Simply, her greatest role in life is being a mother. The things that make me smile about her.. when I go home, I still can't leave a dish or glass on the kitchen counter for more than 5 minutes unattended or it mysteriously disappears to the dishwaher, how she refuses to go to bed before 11 pm each night eventhough she is in a deep nod on the couch by 9:30p, when she leaves me a voicemail that starts with "Hello, this is mother" (like I don't recognize her voice), when I used to sneak into church (late) I could always find her on the same pew/same spot... and last but not least.. she has become an adoptive parent to my beloved Yorkie as if he were her own. Things that I used to consider as nagging are now quite endearing, just part of her charm. All the sacrifices, all the times she was there when I didn't even know it. I look forward to the day when I can be that kind of mother. Everything that she is will shape me in the mother I hope to become. I love you Mommy! (sniff sniff)

4 INCHES..

2009-05-03T21:09:00.003-04:00

Those Charles David, patent leather, 4 inch, gold buckled sandals are the DEVIL!!

I remember the good ole days. Back in college, when I could roll out to an Alpha, Kappa, random house party in my cut offs, tank top, and flip flops and that was considered appropriate attire. Yeah, that was circa '91, and the french roll was in, but everybody was on the same page. I don't know if I can compete. Out with my girls last night, and while I had a great time doing my best version of the "stanky leg", I almost lost a toe. See, when you cut off blood supply to an extremity there's alot of pain involved. It's sad I have to plan my walking distance to the spot, and once I get inside I'm looking for the first chair.... and that practice walk we do in Nordstrom, when we're trying on the shoes don't count. That is false advertising! They need to give you a make shift runway and let you walk non stop for 10 minutes and then you get to figure out if you'll need foot surgery or not. I say we go back to the flip flops.. let's all band together.. they got'em at Old Navy for $3 a piece.. we'll be comfortable and save money. Then I won't have to go back to my car doing the "I'm trying to hold good posture and be sexy, but I'm in agonizing pain" walk. Won't you join me?

It's hard out here..

2009-04-26T21:58:00.004-04:00

It's like looking in a mirror, well.. not exactly. It looks like her and Gayle made a late night run to Menopause R Us. Yet, my soul still jumped with glee. Remember at the end of the movie Malcolm X when the little kids stood up and repeated "I am Malcolm X", and then another kid stood up and yelled "No, I am Malcolm X" and the one kid jumped up and punched the other one in the eye, and fight ensued? Okay, just kidding, but gazing at Oprah's unprocessed hair sent a chill down my spine. Any connection I can have with that woman made me jump up and say "I am Oprah Winfrey". To all the naturals of the world.. STAND UP!! I may have to run from humidity like a bat running from daylight, but me and Oprah are one and the same.. no weave.. no lye!

I'M SORRY..

2009-04-26T21:45:00.006-04:00

I'm pulling my size 5 out of my mouth as I type. Why did I hate on "Obsessed" so much? Check my post "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT". Lets look at the bigger picture. While I already have my preconceived notions about the movie, it reached number 1 at the box office with two leading African American actors, and last but not least... it was directed/produced by Rainforest productions.. FAMU GROWN!!! Is there an Oscar nod for Mrs. Carter right around the corner?.. umm nope, but I can put my HATERADE down and put up $8 for the cause.

Things that make you say..

2009-04-25T04:11:00.003-04:00

Since the weather is starting to finally break, my air conditioning in my car started to do the same. So, I made my scheduled appointment at my dealer for the repair. The first quote for the service was $200. Okay, it's still highway robbery, but fools can't drive around with sweat puddles under their arms all summer. Then I get another call from my service writer 2 hours later, and they have magically found another problem.. now its my auxillary fan that needs to be replaced which has bumped the price to $900. Which was met with a deep long winded "SHEEEEEEE-IT!" (in my best Senator Clay Davis voice). I felt like calling my service writer a fish eyed fool. So, I'll locate my local car repair guy to fix the same sh*t for half the price (I ain't no dummy). So until then it'll windows down.. sunroof open.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT..

2009-04-21T23:44:00.005-04:00

It truly saddens me to utter these words out loud, and I pray the House of Dereon will not hold it against me.. but.. erruuuhh.. B's suspect acting skills will have me hold off from paying my hard earned money at the theater. Is it me or does she have the same accent in every movie.. you know the Foxy Cleopatra with just a hint of Houston, Texas. I call it the Terrence Howard syndrome. Will I be front row at her DC stop for the I Am.. Sasha Fierce tour..? Absolutely (with a hookup), but I'll hit TV Shack for the bootleg version of "Obsessed". I remember when it was done the first time and they called it "Fatal Attraction".

Jesus Lawwwwwd (as my coworker would yelp), did I have the audacity to not mention my baby daddy Idris Elba? Lawwwwd, I drop to my knees and repent for the oversight. Okay, thats two Hell Marys and a promise to fry chicken on Sunday. Jesus Wept! Amen.

HOME GROWN..

2009-04-21T23:27:00.003-04:00

Did I miss the memo where it became a travesty to adopt/sale kids right here in the United States? While I do completely empathize with the mother of Rubina Ali for laying the smack down on her greedy stepmother for trying to sell her daughter into some type of child slavery, do you know how many neglected kids stuck in this country's child welfare system that need good homes? While I do find it sort of commendable that Madonna is trying to counteract all that sinning she did in her early twenties by now trying to adopt half of Malawi, isn't she from Detroit? Can't she just roll right up to a group home and pick out one or ten? On a serious note, my sister and her husband had the pleasure of adopting both their kids and giving them the opportunity for a better life, and they didn't have to cross the pond to do it. Just a thought..

To Quit or Not to Quit?

2009-04-16T21:10:00.007-04:00

A few weeks ago, I posted my PRELIMINARY rules for Face Book, however, it seems as though many of us feel the same way. Please read the attached. These are my rules + 1. I agree 110% !! Should we break free?

http://www.switched.com/2009/04/16/15-reasons-to-quit-facebook/

YOUR SWAG HAS LEFT THE BUILDING..

2009-04-14T13:54:00.004-04:00

If the above pic caused you the throw up (just a little) in your own mouth, you can take one spoonful of Pepto and advance to level 2. If you find the above pic enticing, you forgot to take your tang vitamin today.
Now I just got off the plane from a magical weekend in the Windy City to commemorate Jesus' resurrection and I come back to this . There is so much wrong in this picture, I dare you to keep it under 4. I know SB puts his panties on one leg at a time just like the rest of us, but when does it stop. This took me back to when I was a shorty and my teeny bop crushes used to melt my heart with the dreams that one day we would be united in holy matrimony. Yes, Ralph "crooked teeth" Tresvant was at the top of my list. I miss the 80's. Now I can't get that damn song out of my head.. "Hopped up out the beeeeed..."

Is the circus in town?

2009-04-10T15:00:00.004-04:00

The above pic now constitutes as a luxury loaner these days.

These auto bailouts got these auto makers shaking in their boots. I don't want to keep perpetuation the term "recession", cause like most of you.. I need to be optimistic about my financial situation.. BUT, I dropped off my luxury SUV for service this morning. Now I'm used to getting a loaner comparable to what I drive on a regular basis. That's part of the perk of owning one of the luxury brands.. it gives them an excuse to let you test drive the newer model in the hopes you come back ready for a trade in (trade up). They set all kind of traps, like eliminating the separate waiting room and making you sit on the showroom floor with the newest, phattest, fully loaded model of the current car you are getting serviced. We've all done it.. you go sit inside that brand new 760i with the heated steering wheel trying to figure out how you can make those payments. Cut out eating for a year, or sell a kidney? Umm no. So as I'm daydreaming.. sitting in that 2009 4.8 X5, intoxicated by the smell of new leather, my service writer pulls up in what looks like a cross between a clown car and a luxury go cart. Do I have my bourgeoisie hat on today? So not trying to be a car snob, but can I get the keys to that suped up 645 convertible parked in the back? He politely smiled and said "This is all we got". As much money I'm about to drop to repair my cv boot (not sure what that is exactly), can you appease me just a little? I know a car is too small when a 5 footer (such as myself) started to feel claustrophobic. My car will be ready by 4.

Peace in the Middle East

2009-04-07T15:49:00.002-04:00

And the lovefest continues...

How can one man bring so much hope and prosperity and was a mere unknown just over 3 years ago? I am still amazed at the love affair the whole world is having with our President Obama. It got me thinking, I'm going to take of page from his play book. I'm starting my own personal lovefest today... to everybody! That's right blog readers.. I LOVE YOU! When I see you on the street, I'm going to open my arms to embrace you. If I walk past you in the hallway and say "Hello", and you don't respond.. I won't suck my teeth and roll my eyes or kick my leg out and try to trip you (except for one particular security guard in my building that totally hates his job), instead I'll sing a phrase from Patti Labelle's "Somebody loves you ba-bay.. woah, woah, wooooooah!". I'm going to take my ego out of all situations and act out of LOVE! When you cut me off in traffic, I'm not going to throw up the middle finger salute.. no way.. I'm going to blow you a kiss and say a prayer. Do you feel the love?.. cause I do!

REAL MEN CRY..

2009-04-03T08:43:00.003-04:00

While I do think sometimes it is very sexy to see a man uncover his emotions, the sob fest I witnessed last night had me checking for my own sack (ewww!). Everybody is trying to figure out what's wrong with Q. I know what his problem is.. he's GAY!! He is coming to terms with his alternative lifestyle. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, just come out of the closet already. If you ask me, Dawn has more testosterone than her man (gay husband). The truth will set you free..

Funniest moment.. during the fight sequence, Q is being lazily held back my Big Mike, while it took Willie, Robert, the producer, and a few cleaning ladies to hold Brian's 5'2" frame back. Will the fighting ever stop?

THE LONG GOODBYE..

2009-04-01T13:17:00.003-04:00

Life is full of cycles. From birth to death, everything reverts back to the beginning. Over the past few years, my mother has been caring for my elderly grandfather in her home. After much soul searching, she had to make the agonizing decision to put him in a nursing home. My dearly departed grandmother met the same fate a few years back due to Alzheimers before her passing in 2005. So I know my mother's anguish. My grandfather's mind is still pretty sharp, but his body can't keep the pace any longer. It is like becoming a child again. While home over the weekend, it hit me that the end may be near. Not to sound morbid, but something in his eyes seemed different.. like the will to live was slowly leaving him. He's told me on many occasions that he's ready to leave God's Green Earth in the hopes of reuniting with my grandmother (Sooter) again. I know this cause every nurse that comes in the room he calls them Ezell (Sooter's government name). That theme became more prominent after being widowed. He knows there is nothing left for him to do here. Still in awe of his clarity at the wise age of 93. Watching my mother feverishly care for him has allowed me to have this same conversation with her. "You know you'll have to move in with one of us (my sister is in Chicago) when the time comes." I said. Remarkably, I could see a tinge of rebellion as she rolled her eyes to say "If you have to put me in a home, I'll be alright." :o( I know that reality is atleast 20 years away.. God willing.. but the conversation has to happen now. Now, I just have to figure out how to have the same conversation with my pops.

My Dream Date...

2009-03-31T21:32:00.003-04:00

I started watching Dancing with the Stars to see if Lil Kim had any other skills outside the ones she obviously learned on the pole (not judging), but last night Gilles & Cheryl killed it. Y'all remember Gilles in that infamous "Sex and the City" movie scene where he introduced Mr. Happy to female(and some male "how you doin'?")movie goers across the nation. Anywhooo.. after you fast forward past all the idle chatter about bundled nerves, double eliminations, and starving children (sorry.. wrong show), you could catch a glimpse of what my dream date would be.. for now anyway. I admit, it would be damn near impossible to get the average 30-40 year old single black male to agree to this.. sober, unless the promise of hot, sweaty sex was the final result! I like a man who can lead!! The magic starts around 1:30.

Update:

Can't short change my girl Lil Kim. If you saw "Notorious", she should write an instructional manual on mastering the come up.. minus the nip and tucks. Click here if you feel like day dreaming.

We need to have rules for Facebook……

2009-03-25T22:24:00.011-04:00

Alright people, Yes, the "chicks" have converted. Now that I am a part of the true "cyber universe" and have joined FB, I think there needs to boundaries and limitations. While I am enjoying my ability to reconnect and tell people what I am doing every minute of the freakin' day, I feel that on a few occasions, people have stepped too far outside of their box. I have had this discussion with my "chicas" on many occasions and I think we agree, there needs to be very explicit rules. No shades of gray. If you don’t, it may cause major confusion in the long run so lets save ourselves some heartache!

Here are a few of my rules: feel free to comment, add, or adapt your own! My expectations may not be your expectations…...

1. If you are married or have a VSB "Very Serious Boo" -if an EX or anyone you EVER slept with tries to "friend" you - JUST SAY IGNORE!! It will feel like you are being tortured to death by paper cuts if your mate ever finds out. Trust me on this one….

2. Settings- make sure that you create your settings to only allow you or your friends to see your page. Once again, the crazies are out there but more importantly many employers are searching potential candidates pages for any shenanigans. If you have been "tagged" in a photo where you are drunk at the club sprawled out on the dance floor a future employer may use that against you!

3. Unless your FB page states you are interested in a relationship, don’t add people you don’t know! Many do it just to escalate their "friend" number. Too many crazies people, too many crazies!! And the number of friends you have really doesn’t matter now does it? If your true friends and or family are on your page, that is who you really care about RIGHT?!?!

4. Coworkers- to add or not to add? The problem with large numbers is that you forget who you have enlisted as your " friends" and when you write that you have been sitting on the toilet, out binge drinking or hooked up with a one night stand does that really need to be the topic of convo around the water cooler? Don’t think so!

5. It is OKAY to DELETE!!! I delete miscellaneous people I made my friends because I thought I knew them or we had ONE friend in common. I delete those stupid friend things you all want me to do like send a kiss from a monkey to ten people. I delete party promotions for cities I do not live in, I delete dumb ass comments, I delete stuff I just don’t feel like answering. I am SOOOO okay with it!

DON'T PLAY YOURSELF..

2009-03-18T13:20:00.002-04:00

You know how you are watching something completely hilarious and you want to release a laugh so loud bodily functions may not be able to contain themselves.. ewww! I don't know why I found this one so funny, but the gut wrenching clencher is when the flip flops fly off into the air. Gave me the LOL's!!

DEATH OF THE DEBUTANTE...

2009-03-17T22:10:00.000-04:00

When I look at the above pic, the first thing that comes to my mind is "welcome to the mind of a serial killer". That look on her face screams straight jacket.

I am really loving my new church.. well not really new.. I just rejoined two weeks ago. I usually get a little annoyed when they announce there is a guest pastor, but this one was good. He talked about the daughters of Job (won't get into the specifics since I left my Bible in the car). The short and sweet version.. illustrates how beneficial the strong bond between fathers and daughters can be. So, it got me thinking about modern day traditions our society uses to display this treasured bond. When I was 17, I participated in a Debutante Ball. It is a formal way for young women to be introduced into society. Yeah, it was fun dressing up in what looked like a wedding dress for a teenager (there's a connection), while on display for all of high society (more like mid society) to gawk at. Adhering to all the strict protocol, detailed etiquette, the all white dress code which was a sign of purity (technically I was still pure at the time.. thank you very much). The one thing that sticks out in my mind is the father/daughter dance. What a profound symbol at a young age. We all know that daughters usually learn how to be treated by their future boyfriends/fiances/husband by the example passed down from their fathers. Both positive and negative. With all the "daddy" issues I have, he did always make me feel that I should expect and always deserve the best. I see it now in the raising of my young niece and that special bond that is now developing between her and my brother in law. I think we take those lessons for granted and they usually get side lined for the quick and easy fix. Here I am, almost 20 years later, having to remind myself to revert back to the basics. The lesson can be so simple.. yet so easily forgotten.

ROAD TO SUCCESS...

2009-03-16T21:55:00.003-04:00

I personally was a witness to this dream some time ago during my college days in Tallahassee where Little Ke Ke opened her mouth to sing at the drop of a hat.... the Miss Freshman pageant and most memorably in apartment #E44 we were treated to a mini concert on a daily basis. It warms my heart to see dreams come to fruition. She definitely deserves it!

HOLD MY MULE..

2009-03-13T16:13:00.002-04:00

Souled Out - Hezekiah Walker & LFC

I'm in a good mood today. It's cloudy outside, but not on my soul. Seriously.. uh oh.. I feel a testimony coming on. I have my "Jesus" moments. I don't just drink the occasional martini, mildly curse (I'm working on that). There is some good deep down in here. To steer you in the right direction.. my "HAPPY DANCE" pick for the weekend is surprisingly not from the Gucci Mane collection. If "Souled Out" doesn't put you in a warm mood, I don't know what to tell you.. drop down on your knees now! Jesus wept!

TO THE POINT...

2009-03-11T22:26:00.002-04:00

Watch CBS Videos Online

Like beating (poor choice of words) a dead horse, I know this subject has been discussed at length. Eventhough, I've known my stance on the matter.. (a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances), I know opinions vary depending on age, gender, race, and level of retardation. I've gotten comments from friends, coworkers, the chick that takes the orders behind the counter at Full Yum (shout out to Joon Sung), and even the Great "O" chimed in. Fortunately, I've never been in a relationship were a disagreement has ever reached that level of violence. Some may say that means I've never been in a real relationship... and to that I say.. "the yellow pages has a list of therapist.... pick one!". Ain't nothing wrong with a little therapy, I plan to go get some as soon as my job goes permanent and after my 90 probation period my benefits kick in. I figure since I was blessed to see the age of 29.. okay.. 32.. dammit 35.. I'm one of the lucky ones. I like Katie's approach... short, sweet, and to the point.

PARTY OVER HERE..

2009-03-10T17:47:00.001-04:00

In the illustrious words written by Rick James and sung by Eddie Murphy.. "my girls love to party all the time.. party all the time... party all the tiiiiiiime." I know this is the second time I've used this in a blog post.. but it can be used in so many different situations. I've reached the point where the mind and body are starting to separate. You know.. your mind has plans, but the rest of your body didn't get the memo. I cannot go from hustle mode to party mode within a span of 12 hours with only one meal and no nap (the two apple martinis didn't help). Now, I am paying dearly for it. The body shut down started almost two days after the festivities.. the sore muscles, scratchy throat, stuffy nose, and worst of all .. the shakes. I'm waving the white flag in surrender. I get it. I'm not 25. I can't go hard like that anymore. Now all I have left is the after taste of NyQuil, the scent of Vicks Vapor rub, and a trash can full of dirty tissues. See how Jesus got jokes? I'm sitting down now.

I NEED MORE PEOPLE.. PART 2

2009-03-06T12:57:00.004-05:00

View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

"You've got to be seen in green, I wouldn't be caught dead in red!" The Wiz

My pops always told me I was a little too "fast" for my age. I promise you at the tender age of 8, I witnessed the blessed Emerald City Sequence from The Wiz and knew I had to strive to be grown and sexy for life. Somethings just leave an imprint. I was reminded how I lost my way last Wednesday when I awoke to my usual routine of coordinating outfits to realize when I reached work I had 3 out of the 4 color groups on... and not in a good way. Yeah, I'm still somewhat living out of a suitcase, but I need options! I know I need to plan my outfits the night before, but I thought by now I would have this dressing thing down. You know your clothing selection has reached a WACK level when you walk down the hall, eyes to the floor, afraid to look anybody directly in the face. Can I get Ru Paul on speed dial? This may be cause for drag queen intervention.

A STAR IS BORN...

2009-03-04T14:18:00.006-05:00

It is so fabulous to have friends in high places! My girl, Keanna "KJ Rose" Johnson just release her new single "A Better Way" on Itunes today. Click here for more info on Itunes, Facebook, and Myspace!

KJ Rose…vocalist, songwriter, and performer is set to embark on a music career that will one day allow her to transcend genres, audiences, and time. Her tenacity and fervent love for music afforded her the opportunity to lend vocals to artists that include P. Diddy, KRS1, R. Kelly, Mario, Carl Thomas, Monica, Common, Dead Prez and a host of others. This Chicago native is now ready to step into the spotlight and claim her very own piece of heaven.

While growing up on the south side of Chicago, KJ Rose honed her talents at an early age while singing with The Soul Children of Chicago gospel choir as well as The Trinity United Church of Christ young adult choir. She was influenced by the voices of formidable talents that include Anita Baker, Stephanie Mills, Gladys Knight, Chaka Khan and Phyllis Hyman.

Upon graduating from Florida A&M University, KJ Rose’s enthusiasm for music landed her in New York City. She spent several years cultivating her craft but it wasn’t long before she found herself gracing the platinum-selling albums of Heavy D (Big Daddy), Notorious B.I.G. (Playa Hata), and Mase (Why You Wanna Hurt Me). Subsequently, KJ Rose had a chance encounter with Kelly Price who offered the opportunity to tour with P. Diddy & The Family, which was further confirmation that her dreams were attainable! This experience set the stage for her to soar to new heights landing appearances in movies (Trois), commercials (Verizon), and television (Grammy Awards). Her audacious efforts would later find her touring with major recording artists Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, and Britney Spears.

For full bio.. click here

ENJOY!

CROWD FAVORITE..

2009-03-03T16:07:00.002-05:00

The other night, I made an attempt to catch The Hills.. no wait The City.. ooops.. I mean, the black version.. Harlem Heights. My sleeping schedule has been a little off lately, cause I only made it through the opening credits... but that was long enough for me to find my cast favorite (I use the word "cast" cause you know it's scripted.. right?). My new girl crush is Brooke. She seems a little cocky, sure of herself, and her gear is HAWT!! Good Bye Old Navy.. Hello Barneys.. okay.. well maybe not good bye.. maybe a SEE YOU LATER. My income has to match my aspirations, I'm on my way. A college buddy is an executive producer, so I'll give it a chance. Tune in Monday @ 10p. Click here if you're bored.

I NEED MORE PEOPLE..

2009-03-03T15:23:00.003-05:00

It don't get no flyer than this! My First Lady in Vogue. Ya girl needed some creative inspiration since I'll be pouting and posing this weekend in print for some side projects I'm working on(keep it clean, I'll be fully clothed!). Now if I could recreate this fabulousness by Saturday.. I'll need a stylist, make up artist, hair/weave specialist.. scratch.. one magician coming up! Nawh.. I'm not that bad (Paging Dr. Where Is My Self Esteem). I'll pull it together .. 4 days and counting!

Only In A Woman's World

2009-03-01T22:48:00.002-05:00

See.. this is what happens when a nap sneaks up on you around 7 pm and you wake up 3 hours later wondering why the tv is on C Span (snooze fest). Now, I'm wide awake, dreading the 8 inches of snow I'm going to have to beat into submission just to make it to work tomorrow. Where did my weekend go? To the point, I caught this cute clip posted below. This is sooooooo me and my girlfriends. FYI, I'm the one that would show up to the pool with the control tops... classic!

Watch the trailer for Only in A Woman's World.

You’ll laugh out loud when you watch this trailer for the new series Only in a Woman's World.

IMPULSE BUY..

2009-02-24T13:25:00.004-05:00

My impulse shopping comes in many forms. A pair of PHAT shoes that I know I won't be able to walk in, but they were purchased because they were on sale or in my exact size (size 5's are hard to come by outside the children's department). I made alot of impulse buys decorating my house, Target and Crate & Barrell are the DEVIL!!! or the 4 flat screen televisions that are now sitting in my mother's basement (since the BIG move) that I just had to have in my fabulous fully furnished house that was only occupied by myself and a 5 lb yorkie (he only likes HGTV). I'm so supposed to be on the path of controlling my spending, but driving by a Gold's Gym the other day I decided to stop in. I figured since I was so familiar with my previous gym in Atlanta and frequented it often, I had this membership thing down. Plus, it was time for me to get back on the Elliptical and off the couch. So I take my little tour, of the weights, workout rooms, the movie theater (yes!), and once I flashed the government ID, they literally starting throwing deals at me. So, I signed on the dotted line and looked forward to my first workout. Fast forward to Saturday morning, I head to my new gym with towel and bottled water in hand. I seriously was peeved when I looked inside where my class was supposed to begin and saw no one under the age of 55. I looked on the calendar to see if it was Senior Citizen day. Where are all the hot, young, and fabulous gym dwellers that work out on Saturday morning? It gets worse. I figured since I live in an area where minorities are the majority, I would see that reflected in the music selection during my workout. All I gotta say is Bon Jovi and Whitesnake are not my friends. I'm used to Clay D, MC Shy D, and the Big Booty All Stars. I am now orchastrating my plan to get out of my membership. That visitors' pass is looking quite attractive right now. FYI, if I don't break into a sweat, it was not a workout!!

Supernanny, You might need to visit the "hood"....

2009-02-20T21:40:00.011-05:00

Okay- I am almost ready to go postal with a 2 YEAR OLD!!!! She is of course, brilliant, so friggin cute, and loving, HOWEVER, She can be hell on wheels! She is a little manipulator (at least I know she gets it honest...) She has my husband wrapped around her teeny tiny finger! I have tried everything- time out (UGHHH!) swats on the butt (She could care less) and trying to be loving when she is having a melt down. Nothing works! She has officially taken over. I am ready for baby boot camp! We ARE NOT going to end up on Maury! Am I more lenient than I think? The true kick in the pants for me is that anyone else that watches her is SO excited to have her. They say she is so pleasant and is such an angel. This is how I know at 2 years of age, she understands the difference between right and wrong. Someone, PLEASE Help!!! I am on my 7th child rearing book but as my 97 year old Grandmother says, Stop with the books!!! It might be time to grab the switch off of the tree.... LOL!!! OK, Please remember, she is ONLY 2!!! But I REALLY do not want to be one of the ONLY African-American families on this show! Getting my tubes tied is starting to look better everyday!!!
PLEASE HELP!!! I did want to give her a sibling.....

HOUSTON.. WE HAVE A PROBLEM

2009-02-19T13:35:00.003-05:00

Sitting here at my desk, mouth watering.. and only one thing can tame this craving.. HOUSTON'S! When did they decide to get rid of the local DC Houston restaurants? I know I just got back, but when I left they had closed the one in Georgetown (prime location) but still had two standing in Rockville and Bethesda. Now we are down to one. One thing about Atlanta, I had four friendly locations that I visited often. Going down memory lane, I remember I was introduced to Houston's in '97 in Georgetown (hi Blink). My love affair began with the spinach dip and the Biltmore.. and I don't want to get started on that Hawaiian Rib Eye that makes me slip into food induced coma. That was my pick me up spot (for more reasons that one). I could go to the bar, sit quietly and enjoy my food. My stomach is turning in knots just knowing I can't hop in my car and cure my fix. I know it's a recession, but I've never been in a Houston's that wasn't packed.. what happened? I'd also like to pour out a little liquor for the Chi town location that went under a few years back, my sister still hasn't recovered.

INSTRUCTIONS TO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD..

2009-02-18T20:26:00.002-05:00

In the car during rush hour listening to Dr. Laura. Not my first choice, but Hip Hop Nation was in the middle of some Plies mixtape.. I couldn't take it. I usually don't like to listen to her cause she can be pretty rude and obnoxious, never lets the caller tell their full story, and hangs up on them once she dishes out her (mostly sarcastic) response... but today she said something poignant. Here's the story.. typical caller.. says when her and her husband have a disagreement, her husband completely shuts down, refuses to engage in communication atleast for a week. In my mind I'm thinking.. that's most men. Dr. Laura's response was a surprising and simple.. "DON'T ARGUE WITH YOUR HUSBAND". I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes. There is no husband/wife union that I know of where there are no disagreements. So how in the hell do you go through life without arguing? The caller and I came to the same conclusion.. Dr. Laura is dumb as a box of rocks.... but then the Good Doctor said something that stuck with me. She said, unless it is a life or death situation or something that would put you in emotional or physical danger... let him win (come again?). She told the caller not to focus on always trying to win. If you let him win sometimes, he will start to return the favor. So that leads me to my search for the instruction manual on how to get to the middle of the road. Example of my problem (I'm growing). When I get really angry.. to the point where I want to spit.. I either completely go off (which I try to avoid) or I completely shut down and wallow in silence. I figured the latter was better for everyone so when I get a chance to collect my thoughts it would not come out in a jumble of emotional outbursts and curse words. Not realizing that "the shut down" can be harmful, because it allows you to store up resentful feelings that still come out later in the form of sarcasm. I have to learn how to engage instead of deflect (that is so hard since most of the time I don't know when I'm doing it). I was told I have to not always resort to those two extremes, and learn to pick my battles. Honestly, I'm really bad at that one. What's the point of winning most of the battles if I lose the war. So what would be considered the "middle of the road"? I'm asking..

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO..

2009-02-16T18:53:00.005-05:00

I usually don't get excited or emotional about movies, or maybe my recent movie picks have been a little wackolicious (made up word alert!!)! I know "Slumdog Millionaire" has been out for a minute, but I played myself by waiting this long to see it. When M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" comes on, I got the urge to jump up and start singing (of course without the 9 month baby abdomen and see through black chiffon).. but I didn't. Whatever award they are up for at the Oscars, they need to sweep all categories. Ya girl got a little choked up at the end. All I got to say is.... LATIKA!!!!!!

I went from a masterpiece to warm garbage aka "Notorious". I may be a little harsh, maybe it was my fault for watching them back to back. Next up.. The Reader, The Wrestler, and Milk... I may throw in Mall Cop for a little mediocrity.

MUSIC MONDAYS.. PRESIDENT'S DAY EDITION

2009-02-16T12:38:00.002-05:00

Still enjoying my fabulous 3 day weekend.. My top heavy rotation ghetto picks (they're always ghetto ... aren't they?) One day I'll post some Will Downing of Babyface.. but for now.. I'm from the streets....

Enjoy!

magnificent - rick ross ft john legend

Turn My Scale On - Young Jeezy

yes - lil wayne ft pharrell

Swagger From Us - Jim Jones Ft. Lil Wayne, Twista, & NOE

LOVE HER OR HATE HER.....

2009-02-14T22:37:00.022-05:00

Oprah is the Sh*t!!!

I have gone back and forth on many occasions, but I have never been a hater.

Here are my top 3 reasons why I may become an "OPRAH" stalker...

1. I believe, SHE, TRULY helped President Obama win the "undecided/maybe Hillary- white woman" vote! I know, I know, she received a lot of flack for her endorsement at first, however, people tuned in and finally listened....

2. She admits her faults- Yes, she is a fat ass right now but who has not had their moments. Get back on the wagon and take your ass to the gym!! That goes for me as well :)

3. HER MAGAZINE IS THE BOMB!!! Yes, she is on the cover every month but WHO CARES!!! The content does not disappoint, EVER. In addition to the VIBE and the JET, PICK UP THIS MAGAZINE!!! One of my favorite articles that appears every month is "What I know for sure" and The "Aha moment."

In the March 2009 issue, on P. 62 Jill Scott is discussing her "AHA moment." I can relate to it for a number of reasons, she lost her Aunt unexpectedly, was at turmoil with her family, but mostly because in all this, she learned a valuable life lesson- Enjoy life to the fullest and NEVER compromise on the search for love. Congratulations on walking away from a marriage that was not working, loving yourself first and finding happiness!

Read the article. It is damn good!

WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?

2009-02-14T09:24:00.005-05:00

I'm ga ga for baby! How could you resist that face? Yep, that's my niece giving you the "whatchu talkin' bout Willis?" look. I woke up this morning and checked my email to find these lovely photos in my inbox. What a wonderful way to start out Valentine's Day. Some people are not celebrating Valentine's Day (I actually know a few that are boycotting until conditions improve), but I'm optimistic! These pics are subtle reminders of what unconditional love is.... family.

My nephew and I going down the Moon Bounce slide.. Weeeeeee!!

WHOLE FOODS OR WHOLE "CHECK"

2009-02-12T08:03:00.005-05:00

Okay, you know I'm at the new job... watching my p's and q's, but I'm being corrupted by my hilarious "who gives a f*ck" coworker that likes to take naps at her desk, curses like a sailor, and take 2 hour lunches. I was coerced.. okay forced on one of her excursions yesterday to Whole Foods.. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN (14th and P Street)!!! Peer pressure is a b*tch! So once I reached our destination, I forgot Whole Foods can be intoxicating and expensive. With two additional coworkers in tow, the original plan was to head to the deli, pick up our food and roll out. Shouldn't take more than 10 minutes... right? WRONG!!! They all scattered like roaches when the lights come on.... and one of the Fabulous Four had the nerve to get a grocery cart (WTF are you doing?). The whole time I'm standing there with lunch in hand looking for something to keep me occupied so I don't keep looking down at my watch. What was my impulse purchase?... CUPCAKES! It's a code 10/man down situation. I need someone to yank me up out of here now! I head to the cashier and was floored when my final total came to $17.85 (FOR LUNCH!!).. my original budget was $7.00. I have to rebuke these lunch excursions before I go broke. We were gone 1 hour and 45 minutes! I complained.. "I'm going to get fired!!! " which was met by my coworker's response.. "Shudup!". Tomorrow it'll be a turkey sandwich on wheat with Doritos and a Capri Sun in the 4th floor lunchroom.

IN HONOR OF BLACK HISTORY MONTH..

2009-02-07T16:15:00.004-05:00

In classic TBC style, we wanted to bring you the highlights of the great achievements of African Americans.. coming off the big inauguration and all. Of course I had to mention our Black President (love saying that out loud), Congrats to Mike Tomlin (coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers) for starting the month off right with a well deserved Superbowl win, former Maryland lieutenant governor Michael Steele becomes first ever black Republican National Party Chairman (have mixed feelings about that one), and Eric Holder being sworn in as the nation's first African American Attorney General (a plus, he had no hidden tax problems). All this would not be possible without the dire efforts of everyone's role model Lil' Wayne who somehow made the cut to read the coveted Top 10 List on David Letterman. Now I may be a little loopy from the mixture of NyQuil and Chardonnay (will explain later), but the funniest part ... Paul Simon's band doing their own remake of "Lollipop". Priceless!

Lil' Wayne presents Letterman's Top 10 List
by yardie4lifever2

I'VE GOT THE COODIES!

2009-02-05T21:30:00.002-05:00

I'm sick!!!! I've got my suspicions on how I contracted this rare case of the whooping cough, but I'll keep it to myself for now. That 4 block walk from my parking garage to work in 14 degree weather this morning was the nail in the coffin. I was already tinkering on the edge of the sniffles. After pressure washing my desk with a Clorox wipe and dousing myself repeatedly with hand sanitizer, I knew there was no turning back. Too late for Zicam. So now I must suffer, at home.. with thermal sweat pants, a long sleeve shirt, covered by my favorite Shine 'N Drive hoodie sweatshirt.. oh but I'm not done.. the matching Shine 'N Drive skully, wool socks, and to cap it off.. my thermal baby blue bath robe. Am I sweating yet? I am silently cursing!!

PIMP GAME PROPER..

2009-02-03T22:40:00.003-05:00

Did I tell you I LOVE DC? It never lets me down. This is a first! The identity of a "chick" has been revealed. In preparing for all the men lining up at my door at this very moment (no stalkers please), I must tell you my heart belongs to Wolf Blitzer. I have crossed over. That silver fox swagger can sneak up on you. The glasses, the tie.. it was all working. Before you hit the send on your email.. I'm totally kidding. I did want to ask him whose idea was it to put Will I. Am as a hologram (corny)during election night results. I mean.. when did he become the ambassador of American politics? Back to my boo, running into him at a Wizard's game made me think.. slow news day? Shouldn't you be somewhere reporting Michael Phelps cradling his bong. Or maybe I'm just that cool. Mr. Blitzer all up on me. My excitement was short lived when I came into work the next day to show my coworker (the one that sings off key to every song that comes on WHUR at her desk) my new celebrity crush.. and her response was "Is that your old boss?". Sucking my teeth with a grimace on my face... you don't watch CNN? I was met with a blank stare. I politely changed the subject.

GOOD DOG!!

2009-02-03T21:04:00.002-05:00

I do believe in Divine Intervention. Especially with all of life's changes that I've experienced in the last couple of weeks. Not to get all TD Jakes on you, but I think I'm tapped in.. highly favored.. blessed. Everything that I questioned regarding the BIG MOVE, God has given me a clear answer. I don't recall it ever being any clearer. Blind faith (I get it). So, I was torn leaving my mother in Atlanta with all the personal turmoil she went through over the past five years, with coming out of retirement, being deserted by her husband of 34 years (sorry pops), losing her mother, and taking on the daunting task of caring for my ailing grandfather who just had his 92nd birthday... and not least of all... running her own business. That guilt kept me in an undesirable place for five years (which pales in comparison to the sacrifices she's made). So on my journey to DC, I left something behind... my beloved Kingston (the dog). He couldn't make the big trip until I got settled. I miss the sound of him gnawing on his chew toy, barking at the sound of what he thought was an intruder but only the mail man, and him snoring like an old man that had been at work all day (annoying and cute at the same time). Ok, so here is where the divine intervention comes in. I forgot how much joy a family pet can bring to a household, and that is something my mother never experienced (which explains her initial apprehension to becoming Kingston's temporary dog sitter). She doesn't want to admit it, but she has completely fallen in love with that dog. She has taken that dog to the groomers, gotten him a new dog collar, and morning walks (I didn't even do that). Everytime I'm on the phone with her she tells me something funny he did that day. All the things that made me laugh, now make her laugh. My guilt has subsided and now my mother has a new best friend. Eventhough I may have lost my dog to my mother, the sacrifice is well worth it.

NOW HOW DO I FILE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT?

2009-01-31T10:24:00.016-05:00

I am officially one of the 588,000 people in 2009(and that number is growing)that will now be filing for unemployment! The year just started!! How much worse is this going to get? I was officially given the option yesterday that I have two choices- obtain a new position that requires me to travel approximately 3-4 hours A DAY (Been there, done that!)OR give notice. The good news, is at least "notice" comes with severance! Cha-Ching!$!$$! I must admit though after being fully employed with this company for 13 years, I have mixed emotions. It was a company that was very good to me. Also, I ENJOY working!! I like being able to go on a Target binge or buy a pair of Manolos without having to worry. As a married "chick" I like not having to explain my purhcases. So here is the good news- God has a plan for everything and I think he knew deep down, I needed a new challenge. It is NO LONGER the same company. Respect for people has fallen by the wayside. I was not in love with my job like I once was. I was actually starting to hate it! For anyone else that is in the same boat- we will survive. Find your passion and make it work for you. I know that there is a new adventure waiting for me- HOPEFULLY A RADIO SHOW WITH MY OTHER CHICAS!! We will keep you posted! If you are on the job hunt just as I, I wish you only the best!!

CHOPPED N' SCREWED.. HEAVY ROTATION

2009-01-30T20:18:00.001-05:00

I'm too old, but I can't help it. Just cause I left the Deep Dirty.. don't mean I don't get crunk when I hear that Rich Boy (pronounced.. boi). I only have a few of these in my arsenal that when it hits my satellite radio could cause me to jump out (in the middle of rush hour traffic) and do the creep dog (FAMU represent) nonstop for 30 seconds. I'm so HOOOOOOOOOD!

Drop - Rich Boy

CAUGHT YA SLIPPIN..

2009-01-28T20:02:00.001-05:00

WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF "HOW TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF.. ON A SHEET OF ICE".
This week I learned that BLACK ICE is not just a funky air freshener but you could lose your life just trying to get to your car. It is the DEVIL!! As usually, I under estimate or ignore any and all weather warnings.. because I am all knowing, and sh*t doesn't happen to me (I think). As I'm getting dressed for work and watching the morning news reports on dangerous ice conditions.. I say to myself.. oh.. that won't affect me.. I'll just walk slowly to my car. I can make it. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.. fall.. or bust their ass on a sloped driveway all the way down to the street. It was like I went sledding.. without the sled. On the way down I was thinking.. I going to need a paramedic. It could've been worse. Someone could've easily slid into my car.. there's not a Tylenol pill big enough for that one. After I scraped myself off the pavement along with the rest of my dignity, I had to sit in the car for another 30 minutes to thaw out the 3 inch thick sheet of ice covering my windshield. No.. I didn't have an ice scraper.. I'm going to Target tomorrow.

INDIRECT DIRECTNESS..

2009-01-28T06:15:00.004-05:00

You can read into the above pic what you want.. personally I think some people may need it stapled to their foreheads... but I digress. You can easily replace the word "ladies" with my name.. works just the same.

Directness? Is that even a word? I get a pass since I'm blogging at 6:15 am and confused why DC government is opening today and everybody else is closed for inclement weather (drat!). It may be too early to be praying for snow days since technically this is only my 3rd day at the new job (trifling). Blogging has become a double edge sword. Yes, it is a great tool to flush out all these ideas swirling around in my brain at any given moment, but I fall in the bad habit of relying on it to convey things that I usually try to communicate face to face. Sometimes I have no choice, when my directness (there's that word again) meets a closed door. It used to frustrate me (okay, it still initially frustrates me), but it may be more of a reflection of the other person.. the object of my directness (I promise you I'll check Webster's in a minute). I have to realize you can't have a breakthrough with everyone. I feel one of my priceless examples coming on.. so you are at work or anywhere on God's green earth.. If I come across something I don't understand.. I ask questions to resolve my confusion. Eventhough I may not always get an answer, I'll continue to always ask the question... OR.. (I'm having an Oprah moment) maybe no answer is a clear answer (light bulb). Am I any better venting on my blog? Maybe not, but I was left to my own devices.

I CAN'T AND I WON'T..

2009-01-27T21:46:00.004-05:00

My first thought after looking at this picture.. "She's your queen to be" - Coming to America. These prayer circles are coming too fast and furious for yours truly .. The Reverend. Can Jesus please show up and be a beacon of light to our nearly departed Ms. Bynum? Kudos for turning 50, and showing up to your birthday party looking like an extra at the Ice Capades. The original story is she reincarnated that prom/wedding dress to make the point that she is now married to herself?... or the cleaners lost her clothes?.. (your pick). Never to intentionally make light of domestic violence, but she's still suffering from the remnants of that beat down at the hands of that wayward ex husband (Paging Dr. Phil). This is what happens when you don't seek professional help. When I hit my mid life crisis, I bequeath my nearest and dearest to pluck me out of the abyss of self pity and drop me off at Nieman's.

PUNCHING THE CLOCK.. AGAIN!

2009-01-26T20:42:00.005-05:00

".. I'm going to make it after all.."
What a GREAT day! Now I know how Mary Tyler Moore felt when tossing her crochet hat into the air. I wanted to do that at the corner of Florida and New York Ave NE, but I was afraid I would get hit and killed by oncoming traffic. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders today. Going back into the office/corporate/work environment after being absent for more than 5 years.. I didn't know what to expect. No, I'm not at a fancy downtown address like my previous on Connecticut Ave, and food choices are limited.. but parking is $7!! That makes up for everything. The usual suspects were all present.. you know those supporting characters that make any job site interesting. First up, the disgruntled temp.. she's mad as hell she had to go back to work for "da man".. and she'll tell anybody who will listen. The "I'm not gay, I just dress really nice" guy who I couldn't figure out until he commented on my shoes and new Kenneth Cole coat.. that is a dead giveaway every time. Oh.. let's not forget the "Are you gonna be my best friend" coworker who can't let you make the initial rounds without trying to know every intimate detail of your life right before you walked in the door. Brings back memories!! My job is top secret. It is completely hilarious to me that every one's job in DC is "top secret".. but they let a temp roll up in there with no background check have access to all this precious information. All I care about.. I get a regular check every two weeks.. ahhhh.. the simple things!

HONEY MUSTARD OR BUST..

2009-01-25T23:38:00.003-05:00

A few of you know I've been out of sorts in the last week. I'm literally a real life nomad... traveling from one friend's house to another.. but the end will justify the means soon enough... any who.. my eating habits have been quite lack luster since all the excitement behind Obama's inauguration and since I actually did pack up and move to another city. The thought of cooking a home cooked meal just hasn't crossed my mind. Before my bank account gives me a code 10 alert, I treated myself to Outback yesterday (I know.. fancy!). Now, small things make me happy.. naps in the afternoon, catching a new episode of Divine Design, and finding an extra $20 in a coat pocket sends me doing the happy dance... BUT small things can just as easily send me into full cuss out mode. Yesterday, after what seemed an eternity after running a sh*t load of errands (and being lost in Fairfax county for an hour), and in that delicate stage of the beginnings of the sniffles and full blown pneumonia.. all I could think about coming up 495 was my beloved Chicken Griller on a bed of wild rice with a side of bbq pineapple slices, a loaf of bread and HONEY MUSTARD. The honey mustard is a key component... without it I might as well start gnawing on a piece of sand paper. I pull up to curbside, and what appears to be a young man evidently going through puberty comes to retrieve my name. Just a few short minutes later, he reappears with food in hand, I hand him a $20 (from the coat pocket) and tell him to keep the change (what?). When you are on your death bed, your judgement becomes questionable. Headed home, my mouth salivating, I run into the house, peel off my coat and shoes, head to the kitchen, get a bottled water and start to empty the contents of my bag. No honey mustard!!!!!!! First thought.. ahhh.. hell naw! The thought of giving that pre teen a $4 tip with no honey mustard sent me into a RAGE!!! So I jumped back into the ride.. drove 3 miles back to Outback, and proceeded to cuss out any employee that crossed my path. What did I get for my troubles?.. a free appetizer.. was it worth it? probably not.. am I PMSing? Hells yes!

DIE VOCODER DIE!!!!!

2009-01-24T00:20:00.002-05:00

Jumping out the window - RON BROWZ

Don't you just love it when the lyrics to a song ring loud and true. I would gladly jump out the window.. matter of fact.. do a swan dive off the back porch to avoid ever hearing this song again.... EVER! Am I the only one that gets the squirmies when that sh*t comes on in the club/car? WTF? Just as it rang 14:59 on T Pain's watch, another one pops up.. and his name is Ron Browz. This is reminiscent of those junior high days when you were playing around with the Casio keyboard and somebody hit record. What is worse, I witnessed one of my "chicks" (looking at you L Boogie) bouncing back and forth to it like it was quality. Maybe it was the liquor and those moves were involuntary.. like convulsions. Since I'm now in the nation's capitol, I'm going to use my connections to get a bill on Capitol Hill to ban the use of the vocoder. Let it die with "I Want To Be Your Man" Roger Troutman (RIP). Can somebody take a baseball bat to it puhlease? Put it out of its memory once and for all!

FUNKY TRANSITIONS

2009-01-23T18:47:00.005-05:00

Sitting here watching Max and Ruby on Noggin with my "chick" niece who is refusing to finish her mac & cheese, but is inclined in the same breath to ask for a cookie. I was reflecting on how drastically my life has changed since this time last week. What was I doing last Friday night?... shaking in my boots.. watching movers pull out of my driveway with all my belongings.. looking through my empty house which now looked so much smaller without the large sectional and 42" plasma hanging from the wall... so I was thinking.. am I making the right decision.. leaving all this behind? Traveling to a new city .. with no real prospects.. all because I'm bored and feel the need to fulfill a desire to never be complacent. Shouldn't I be more settled (in my lower/mid 30's)? So up 85 North with satellite radio blarring in the background and about 1/3 of my closet.. I left familiarity behind.. to witness history (that is now President Obama thank you very much!) and create a little of my own. Moment of clarity came on Tuesday around 9 am surrounded by 2 million of my new best friends that I realized I can never fail if I atleast try. Do I have my dream job yet? Maybe not.. Am I living life on my own terms? ABSOLUTELY!!

Yes We Can!!!

2009-01-23T17:53:00.010-05:00

Okay, Okay, yes, I am still on my "Obama High" after making the trek from Jersey to DC. Not that far, but in traffic it is a B*tch!!! However, I feel like the media is tracking his every move so that they can catch him "doing wrong". Leave the man alone! Let him run our friggin' country! We are going to hell in a hand basket if we do not allow him to do what we put him in office to do!!! It is not pretty people. I am getting laid off as we speak. But seriously, I LOVE our new first family, I LOVE what they represent and I LOVE the positive energy. A cab driver in DC gave me a FREE cab ride after the Inauguration- how often does that happen??? My "chicks" and I had an AMAZING time freezing our tails off(toes and fingers numb, icicles running from our noses, etc.) I had an opportunity to attend the Midwestern Ball and see Mr. Prez and his wifey up close and personal(I am from the Chi- Represent, Represent!!!) They were simply STUNNING! Lets keep this positivity going PLEASE!!! I have declared it- 1.20.09 "Happy Obama Day" Let it live FOREVER!!!

HEY, I FORGOT MY "O" FACE..

2009-01-12T00:29:00.004-05:00

At this late hour, I'm packing.. and packing.. and doing a little more packing.. and half way watching "Office Space" in the background. Some random reason, it got me thinking about my "O" face.... and where the hell is it? I may have to throw a search party for it soon. The female orgasm is a tricky and sensitive subject. I've always been mystified on how men seem to find theirs so easily. My dog doesn't know the difference between my fluffy house slippers and a chew toy, but he doesn't have a problem humping a stuffed miniature version of Shrek whenever the mood hits him.. but whateva. For all you men that are about to say, "I know plenty of women that have orgasms on the regular".. they are compulsive liars and it probably happens when men are not in the same room. Let's not forget about the "fakers" (FYI, a man's version of faking it is telling you they want a relationship.. then poof pow.. one day.. not so much - that's a whole other subject). We've all done it. Trying to build up your man's ego, cause you know he's trying so hard. Yeah, you may throw in a little dirty talk in for effect, but the whole time you are hoping the Orgasm Fairy pays you a visit before he climaxes, rolls over, and snores himself into a light coma. Like alot of things I have discovered recently, I've had it all wrong all these years. I think most women are used to the status quo. Someone sold us the lie a long time ago, that the female orgasm during sex (with a willing partner) is still elusive. That lie manifests into millions of unhappy and unsatisfied women that think this is the norm. Most men I know expect a women to perform acrobatics to turn them on.. not to say we don't like a little freak 'n sneak.. BUT.. I'll take a bouquet of flowers and a foot rub... and a side order of COMMITMENT.. now that's a turn on. My missing orgasm a cold case? Not so much.

IF I HAD MAGICAL POWERS..

2009-01-07T01:46:00.005-05:00

I would cure world hunger (doing my Miss America wave.. elbow, wrist.. elbow, wrist)..
Seriously.. I've been playing this game alot lately. You know we all have those secret games. Like the one you play with your girls.. my all time favorite .. "Thats your man!". This is a big hit at the club, when that dude tries to make eye contact from across the room, but he has on that leisure suit two sizes too small but is still bold enough to walk up and lay his pimp game down. The trick to the game is to say "that's your man" before he reaches his final destination. Your girls always have to outdue you by picking the wackest dude in the place. Of course there are rules to the game. He has to be same race as the identifier, no visible handicaps (that's just mean), and he has to be wearing an article of clothing that is reminiscent of the 80's or 90's.. i.e. man sandals, male choker, or a tight body shirt that snaps between the legs. Since I don't frequent jook joints on the regular.. my new favorite game is .. If I had magical powers.. I would click my heels three times and pay off my mortgage, trade in my wardrobe for Rihanna's, and trade in Chris Brown for Idris Elba (church!). Yes, I would not be selfish with these powers, and would use them for good.. not evil, unless you got on my bad side and you mysteriously show up to work with a strange rash on your upper lip.... I kid.. I kid!!

FACEBOOK.. THE NEW CRACK..

2009-01-07T00:35:00.004-05:00

I promise you I cannot remember a time where cells phones were not surgically attached to my hand, and I had a better relationship with the world wide web than most of my relatives. I believe Google is now a second cousin by marriage. First it was MYSPACE, then the alumni websites, and now FACEBOOK. I'm cancelling my TWITTER account as we speak. Now my Blackberry has gotten in on the conspiracy to destroy all human contact... with one scroll, I can update my status that I just took the trash out or you just caught me pumicing my heel. Do the masses really need to know that one? I'm in a codependent relationship.. and I don't like it. I actually tried to force myself off the facebook website, but once again, the Blackberry trumps me by sending a friendly email advising a Facebook Friend has commented on my status that I just finished wiping my ass and I was heading out for some chinese food. I'm no better than the rest. I get caught up looking at family photos, playing those mind numbing quizzes, searching for old boyfriends, crushes or the chick that was voted most popular in high school... then you see she's gained 50 lbs and still lives in Montezuma, Georgia. The worst part.. the "online friends" notification at the bottom right hand corner of the screen. Deep down, I feel like a loser when the same people keep catching me online. It's like an invasion of privacy. I want to say.. "hey, I have a life.. I just jumped on to see if I was "tagged" in any photos". I know I have a problem, that is the first step to rehabilitation.. right? And what the hell is a "poke" supposed to mean.

I am SO happy to be home!!

2009-01-03T22:08:00.018-05:00

It is a beautiful thing to live AWAY from your family! Visiting for the holidays is fine but if the visit is too long it becomes resentful!

Do not get me wrong, I LOVE my family to death! However, I like sleeping in my own bed, not having my family and others tell me how to raise my child, and I LOVE peace of mind which is what I get when I am away from them!

Here are my top 5 reasons why I love being at home after the holidays!

5. I do not have to watch "Cousin Roscoe" do the happy dance because my grandmother made sweet potato pie! Mind you, the dance happened at noon because Roscoe has been drinking since 9 AM!!!

4. I am tired of my family saying that your daughter is just like you, she is "hard headed" and that makes a soft behind.....

3. I don't have a curfew! Being in my mid thirties and married, you think, by now my father would stop asking, so when will you be home?..?..? And I talk to him once a week when I am not home but for some odd reason, when I am home, he feels the need to call me every 5 minutes!

2. I do not have to look at my brother and want to slap his face! At 30 years of age, he still accepts NO responsibility for his life, has no "REAL" job, AND has moved back home with my parents!!!

P.S- B*tches continue to "take care of him" that is why he is in this predicment- Ladies, Wake the F*u% up already!!!

1. I do not have to visit my in-laws everyday!!! Hallelujah! Quarterly visits are just fine with me thanks!!!

Does anyone else share my pain? Please comment!!!!

THE YEAR OF THE RISK TAKER..

2009-01-02T10:51:00.002-05:00

I'm going for mines.. in '09. Okay, that was corny.. but true! It is amazing when you surround yourself with like minded people that all want to move forward. For most of 2008, I was stuck in a rut. I can't tell you how much I hate being "stuck in a rut"! When things stay the same, I get bored, when I get bored, I get frustrated, when I get frustrated, I get motivated. So now, I'm at the final stage.. motivation, now comes the season of change. Yes, Pastor Jenkins (First Baptist Church of Glenarden) spoke about the Season of Change for this year's Watch Night service... and yes I went to a party afterwards, but me and Jesus talked about it, and he said it was okay. So I started out my New Year's on the right foot. This year's theme.. be more of a risk taker .. or atleast have more new experiences, and don't be afraid of the unknown. So I started out my year at Shelly's Back Room with a special friend that introduced me to the art of cigar smoking. As unladylike as cigar smoking may sound.. I felt quite refined. Like a GAW (grown ass woman). Next up.. move to a new city, start a new career(s), sky diving, a new tattoo, and to be on the unrelentless path to find what makes ME happy!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: HOLIDAY EDITION

2008-12-29T00:12:00.004-05:00

DON'T HATE MY FILA SWAGGER!

As the previous post states.. sorry for the delay. I had a house full of family members all week and my dog started showing beginning symptoms of being bipolar. He now has his meds and is no longer confusing my foot for a fire hydrant.
My gift giving was pretty light this year, since the funds were low, and I have low expectations anyway since I'm over the age of 20. Each year, my father tries to stay relevant or the center of conversation when distributing his Christmas finds to willing recipients. Personally, I think it is that Christmas guilt since him and my mother split up a few years back. This year, he was more reminiscent of the Ghost of Christmas Past.... past fashion faux pas. While he gets an "A" for remembering Kang Jesus' birthday, I don't know what warm feeling led him to the local Kohls department store and proceed to pick out and purchase 5 FILA sweat suit ensembles (shaking my head). This.. coming from a man that asked (and got) an Ipod for Christmas, but doesn't know how to open an attachment in an email. Now this is no time to be picky.. but it's not like I just got off the plane from some foreign country and didn't understand that FILA was hot in '85 (maybe). I didn't have the heart to to tell him that his gift would be shoved in the bottom of a Goodwill drop off box by next week. Season's Greetings!!

Happy Holidays!!

2008-12-27T23:36:00.006-05:00

Okay... Everybody needs a "VayCay"!
The "Chicks" are actually taking a little time off to spend precious moments with our loved ones. If you get a blog entry between now and January 5th, 2009, it is a bonus! You know, that not only do most of our families not have a computer but if they do, their computer is still on dial up!!! LOL!!! We promise, we will come back refreshed, hilarious, and interesting as ever. Please stay tuned and have a blessed holiday!
Much love,
The "Chicks"

KNUCK IF YOU BUCK..

2008-12-17T16:31:00.002-05:00

Let me first start out by saying, I am too lazy and tired to pre screen every attempt at foolishness that comes across Youtube. C+D makes it easy on my fragile nerves so I can hold it together for Jesus' birthday next week. My mind got weery trying to focus on all the extra goodies in the above clip. May we request another prayer circle for Sybil in the hopes she doesn't harm herself while protecting her domicile. What sets the tone.. her bumping "America's Most Wanted" by Tupac and Snoop on level 10! After January 20th, this must cease!

CABIN FEVER..

2008-12-16T11:07:00.003-05:00

I'm about to go all Shawshank up in here. Of course I was up at the random hour of 4 am to catch Shawshank Redemption on HBO. That way I'm feeling right now, I would crawl through 500 yards of human waste to gain my freedom from this life of boredom. Yes, it was a sh*tty day over on the SW side of the "A". I am officially in a rut. It completely sucks to be in the middle of a career change and borderline financial crisis. I must be a complete genius to be taking such a risk while the WORLD is in an economic downward spiral... but that is me. I've done stranger things. Most of you know I'm trying to move to higher ground.. DC for those of you in the know. Not to down Atlanta in any way, but its like being with a really nice guy, but no spark. You don't get that tingle when your cell phone rings and you know it is him. If you decided to keep him around longterm you know he would be dependable, but you would be bored out of your skull. That is how I feel about Atlanta. We are not evenly yolked! Since I know that the Big Move is near, sitting around waiting for the official job offer to pack my sh*t and go is like watching paint dry. The anxiety is getting to me. Patience is not one of my most endearing qualities. I need instant gratification. Andy crawling through that pipe filled with raw sewage is the equivalent of me rubbing two pennies together for the last few months to see if I can make a dime. I just want to get to the other side and raise my hands in victory (for affect.. let it be raining and violins playing in the background). I need a change!

The Great Escape - Shawshank Redemption

THE EDDIE MURPHY HALL OF FAME..

2008-12-15T11:35:00.002-05:00

Oscar .. check!
Goods looks.. (from the neck down anyway).. check!
Fame & Fortune.. check!
Viable recording artist...????

I know you all remember back in the day (mid 80's) when Eddie Murphy was at the height of his career and he decided to do that album. Y'all remember.. "my girl wants to party all the time.. party all the time.. party all the tiiiiiime!". RIP Rick James.. At the tender age of 9, I didn't take his musical prowess seriously. The male ego can be a bankable movie star's worst enemy. With such a solid career in the 80's now Eddie is reduced to being known for taking a liking to chicks with a little something extra and to being the questionable roomate of Johnny Gill. Oh, and let's not forget the 45 minute marriage he had with Tracy Edmonds. Um.. hmm.
Even before I saw the above clip, I always thought Jamie Foxx's musical talent was average at best. I recently watched the video "Just Like Me". If my one year old niece can hum the melody to the hook on your song.. it is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Now while I admit that "baby wipes" Terrence Howard takes himself a little too seriously as a recording artist, Mr. Foxx is not that far behind. Eddie Murphy is Jamie Foxx without the Oscar. Somebody needs a reality check.

YES AND NO: FASHION EDITION

2008-12-12T15:58:00.005-05:00

YES!! YES!! YES!! Ri Ri gets a gold star without even trying. Cannot believe this is the same chick that penned "Pon Da Replay". If she can do it.. dammit.. so can I. I'll be recreating this ensemble for New Years Eve for the low.. low price of $100. Watch... Charlotte Russe.. here I come! Yes, my pants may be made out of the always fashionable "pleather" and my coat out of chinese dog hair, but I'll be fly and be able to pay my cell phone bill next month. DON'T HATE!!

NO.. MAMA TINA NO!! While I am a self proclaimed Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter stalker, I can't get behind that raw silk/racoon combination coat. Looks like something I made in sewing class in 1989. Something is always a little off with her style choices. I'd soon enough point her in the direction of Forever 21 before I tell her to pick up the Spring line at House of Dereon. This chick is worth $200 million. Let's do better!

Pics compliments of The YBF.

Fix Or Repair Daily

2008-12-12T00:27:00.003-05:00

Most of my natural life my family had been involved with the sale of American made automobiles. Before retirement, my dad was an automobile dealer. Since I was atleast 5 years old, I knew nothing of foreign made cars. My first car was a white Ford Mustang (not the GT) with a tape deck. All through college, I drove different models of the Ford Probe, Mustang, Thunderbird, Explorer and Tempo (I was on punishment on that last one). Yes, my dream car was a BMW, but I never dared become picky over a vehicle I was not making the car payments on. Were they the best cars to drive.. no.. but as far as my wallet was concerned.. they were FREE! So fast forward to 2000, I got my first taste of luxury. It came in the form of a silver 323i. That is the first time I became one with my vehicle. I know one should never be so attached to material things, but me and that car had a strong bond. I almost shed a tear when I traded her in for an updated model.
What brings me down auto memory lane is that feeling of excitement when making that car purchase. It is the second biggest purchase you will ever make outside of buying a home. The American automakers need to figure out a way to create that magic. So, if you're getting $15 Billion from the feds, I don't see why it is brain surgery to come up with a product that is marketable to the general public. Not everybody needs to ride in a HUMMER or an F250. It seems like everyone else saw the tide changing, what made these company execs want to stay the course and let the ship sink all in the need to change the body style on the Ford Focus. Again, why pay these men million dollar bonuses when now they are only thinking about change after being ridiculed for flying in on private jets with their hands out. Solution: Make the Big 3 make modernized, cost efficient, environment friendly vehicles and give the consumer a tax incentive on their purchase. What is so hard about that?

GET LIKE ME..

2008-12-11T10:59:00.002-05:00

Once again, I am amazed at the pearls of wisdom that permeate my computer screen every time I visit one of my favorite blog site C+D. WARNING: I advise all heterosexual men to bypass this particular post. If you dare to proceed, you may turn into a pillar of salt. All I got to say is if I had these skills, I'd probably be married by now with child and living comfortable by NeNe Leakes standards. My emotion while watching this clip is a mixture of nausea, laughter, confusion, jealousy. Excuse me while I go get the Pepto!

GLAD HE WASN'T BLACK..

2008-12-09T15:28:00.005-05:00

Democratic Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his wayward hair are heading to the pokey! That is if the attorney general has anything to say about it. Yes, I know the election is over and Barack is well on his way to the White House, but I cringe anytime I think the media could find a way to link any scandal to our President-Elect. Boy, am I glad this dude wasn't black.. its bad enough we've had to deal with the recent shenanigans of OJ and Kwame Kilpatrick. I hope Jesse Jackson Jr don't get caught up. You know they need to give that Senate seat to him anyway. Unless you were brought up on a farm and was home schooled for the first 13 years of your life, you shouldn't run for public office. They will always finds something. Like the time I stole a mirror out of JC Penney.. I was 5!!! But.. I GUARANTEE.. if I was running for city council.. it would turn into a big scandal and I would be throwing news conferences explaining my mental capacity at the tender age of 5. NO THANK YOU!!! The more power you have, the more sloppy you get. This dude didn't think he had a phone tap? Come on, I talk daily on the phone about trivial reality shows and how my dog pooped in his crate yesterday, and if I hear a click or echo .. this jig is up.. I gotta tap on my phone. All I gotta say is.. don't drop the soap!

TIME ON MY HANDS..

2008-12-09T15:13:00.006-05:00

You would think with all this extra free time I would find something more constructive to do. It's like watching paint dry. But.. nope! Between posting for jobs on washingtonpost.com, working part time shifts at the car wash, and keeping my house immaculate for potential renters to view, I usually find the dumbest, mind numbing thing to watch on tv. Things have been a little suspect since The Wire went off. I'm left to my own devices. Well, a friends turned me on to True Blood. Yes.. I know the season is over.. that is what On Demand is for. Was I initially interested in watching a series about vampires in the deep South? Not exactly, you know us "black folk" don't like nothing to do with the dark side. I pray Jesus don't put roots on my computer as I'm typing this.. but the show is good. Bill Compton (the main vampire) has to be the most romantic tv character I've seen in .. forever or maybe that is part of my strange dysfunction. Its twisted, dark, and intriguing all at the same time. Wouldn't be my usual pick, but kudos to HBO for giving me something with substance.

My personal MVP: Lafayette! Snap for the kids!

TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT..

2008-12-08T10:14:00.002-05:00

That is funny, especially coming from someone that don't technically have a job (yet). I must admit, I've gotten quite spoiled over the last few years working in real estate. That whole setting your own schedule was well worth all the gas I burned up riding the outskirts of Atlanta in search of my buyer's dream home. But.. now it is coming to an end and I'm mentally preparing myself to re enter the corporate setting. I have to get ready for my manager to say things like "kudos", "awesome", and "let me share these pearls with you". You know you've been in that professional job setting and wanted to straight jump across the desk and wrap your hands around that coworker's neck that used to pick there nose on a daily basis, but then always want to use your phone for personal calls... GROSS!! That inner cuss out is always right around the corner. The following clip made my soul cry out... in laughter!

I LOST EVERYTHING....

2008-12-07T23:00:00.010-05:00

On my FREAKING ITunes!!!
Okay, Here we go.... DRAMA as usual!

I lost EVERYTHING on ITunes because I bought a new computer. Hell, my other PC was almost 7 years old (Yes, I am a cheap ass...) I decided because, at least today, I am a PROFESSIONAL :) so I should suck it up and get a real computer. I was relying on my work laptop and we all know that I may lose my job tomorrow, so based on that, I bought a real computer to download my personal stuff. A Mac at that! I like it for a number of reasons- mostly to take great pics of my "Sweet Pea" and make them into movies and holiday cards but as I go to sync my IPOD of over 3000+ songs, EVERYTHING DISAPPEARED!!! Oh Sh*t! What am I to do!!! Momma has to get her workout on! Momma needs to decompress on her way home from work with a few "dusties" blaring through the car radio! I currently live in a neighborhood where, at my gym, they play Bon Jovi for spin class! IT SUCKS!!! I NEED, WANT, HAVE TO HAVE, my OWN music. It takes me back! It makes me feel less than the age I am! It helps me to de-stress! I have my special playlist that reminds me of college- MANY MEMORIES, I might add... good, bad, or indifferent :) It is UNREAL how a song can provoke so many memories... Or visions for the future. HAHAHA!! Here is an example- Pretty Brown Eyes by Mint Condition reminds me of my freshman year of college where I met 7 of my now closest friends. I smile every time I hear it! Feenin' by Jodeci ... well, I will keep that one to myself... LOL! Does anyone else share my pain? I am headed to the Apple store tomorrow to raise sayin' as my Nana would say. I will keep you posted. This "Chick" may have a sleepless night!!!! For sanity purposes, I need my music!
HELP!!!!!

IS THAT SANTA.. KICKING IN MY BACK DOOR?

2008-12-06T13:46:00.003-05:00

Another warm holiday story to get you in the Christmas mood. Wasn't Halloween over a month ago, cause I got the spooks. I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but I've seen a rise in home invasions in my neighborhood over the past few weeks. The latest victim.. my next door neighbor. Eventhough they only made off with a laptop, I'm shaking in my boots. Luckliy me and my neighbor are pretty cool, so I feel we look out for each other.. but she can't stop somebody from kicking in my back door in the middle of the night. So what is a single girl to do? I don't quite know, but while I'm in the process of finding sufficient home protection.. I trust NO ONE. Everyone is a suspect in my book. While I do believe it is some bored teenagers trying to find a way to pass the time, I'm giving the side eye to the mail man, the old lady that walks her poodle every morning, my other next door neighbor that never speaks eventhough I throw my hand up occassionally and wave, or the numerous service, cleaning personnel that may have been scoping out the place. So I'm a prisoner in my own home, but I'm not going down without a fight. My little Kingston will protect me. He may not be a 100 lb attack dog, but he'll bark to the high heavens.

GIRLS VS. BOYS

2008-12-06T00:35:00.004-05:00

When I was a youngin, I played in an all girl softball league. I can see the team picture clear as day. Our red and white team shirts with our first names on the back, black gym shorts circa 1982, and knee high white gym socks with the red stripes at the top. Lets not forget the solo pic where I'm standing over home plate with the bat slightly lopsided and I'm squinting my eyes cause the sun is so bright. Okay.. back on the path to my point. The one thing about that picture I remember is thinking "where were the boys?". Through kindergarten and elementary school, the sexes were segregated. Whether it was P.E., after school sports .. the environment where competition is at its highest.. got me thinking.. if we didn't learn how to play nice in those formative years, what makes us think we can play nice as adults. After counseling a guy friend through what looks like a break up of something promising, I found it odd how similar the reaction is to hurt, disappointment or rejection no matter what the gender. He was genuinely caught off guard by the break down of his relationship. I always thought guys just shrug it off, go have a jack and coke, and call the next chick on speed dial for a sleep over. Not to take pleasure in his pain (cause that chick was wrong), but it was nice to see real raw emotion. Now the transformation begins. The nice guy that was always open about his feelings (in a masculine way) has now been badly burned for the first time, and his trust for women has all but disappeared. I know he'll think differently about it a few days from now, but we've all been there. So my question is.. if we surprisingly are similar in that way where we BOTH can be emotional creatures.. why can't boys and girls.. men and women meet somewhere in the middle?

MY TWO STEP..

2008-12-03T20:44:00.003-05:00

I've been on my out of state hustle over the past two days (yes, planes, trains, and automobiles). I'm jumping through some serious hoops to live out my dreams to the fullest. While I know risk taking is in the blood, it seems like is in overdrive lately... like a super hero.. and a super hero needs her theme music. Sorry for all the recent music posts, but when you go to another city that has a slight edge on the culture meter, you're amazed at what your ear lobes can hear. I mean.. my soul cried! So.. I'm late. I'll be picking up "Fearless" by Jasmine Sullivan tomorrow. Is it possible to have jet lag without changing time zones? I'm going to sleep now.. wake me on Friday.

MONEY WORTH SPENDING..

2008-12-01T19:40:00.004-05:00

Since we are now officially in a RECESSION, I started counting my pennies 6 months back. Instead of paying those big wigs that sit in some secret room on Wall Street and collect those big checks for delivering news that the whole nation was expecting, they could've cut me a smaller check and I could've reported the same damn thang back in April when that Combo #1 with a Lemonade at Chick Fila went up $.62 overnight. It was clear to me then we were in a RECESSION. Back to my point, I've started to cut out certain luxuries, but one is well worth the investment. If I didn't have satellite radio, I would be stuck listening to "Birdwalk" in heavy rotation.. no thank you! That $12.95 a month is worth every penny. If you live in the duurty like myself, it's hard to come by anything that wasn't produced by Little John or T Pain. I'm East Coast to my heart. Scrubbing the ground was cool when I was in college at those Alpha parties sweating my perm out, but now I need grown ass hip hop. Not that I'm on Jigga's nutzzz.. but .. well listen for yourself.

DUH?...

2008-12-01T17:00:00.002-05:00

My mama always told me things happen in 3's.

Why on the same day President Elect Obama announces Hillary Clinton to be the Secretary of State (like that was a news flash).. and at the same time it was announced the economy was officially in a RECESSION (like I didn't see that coming), and that the dow plunges 680 points?... coincidence.. I think not!

Holiday Happenings: The Ghosts of Sex PAST.....

2008-11-29T15:52:00.024-05:00

Yes people, They exist.
Whether you "count" them or not, they are out there, waiting, specifically for you!!! The reason is because they may not have rocked YOUR world but YOU ROCKED theirs! Case in point, ONE OF MY GIRLS- not this chick, promise.... was home for the holidays and in Chicago, our tradition is to kick it at an "old school" (defn: all of the people we went to college with or in our age group) party on Wednesday, chill with the FAM on Turkey Day Thursday, and kick it again the rest of the weekend. The interesting part is that the event that is the most fun is on Wednesday and that is normally when the "Ghosts" start looking for you! You will be at the party, looking FAB, hanging out with your GIRLZ and BAM!! There he is!

He is the one you forgot about.

Potential (not likely or you would remember his ass) but HE REMEMBERS YOU! It is an unfamiliar acquaintance at first, you let him buy you a cocktail, and then as he opens his mouth, you realize, in an INSTANT, why you did not stay with this BOZO in the first place! He starts his soliloquy (why things didn't work out but he still thinks about you everyday- yeah, yeah, GAG, Vomit coming shortly) and you are thinking, this was one occasion, maybe two :) where YOU needed to be fulfilled (hopefully) sexually and you did not feel that you needed to call him after that.
In your mind, no harm, no foul. In his mind- totally different. Probably because he realized that he lost "a catch." Everyone he has been dealing with since you has been "Chicken Heads"- AKA... Skank money grubbing hoes. He knows- with you, HE MISSED OUT. Ladies AND even Gentleman, if this is you- UNLESS THE SEX WAS REALLY, REALLY, GOOD(once again, if it was your would remember them...) WALK AWAY!
If you are not ready for an emotional roller coaster, WALK AWAY...
It is not worth it....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FAM!
MAKE 2009, BETTER THAN 2008!!!!
Love, The "Sexy" Chick!!

SHOULD HE PUT A RING ON IT?.. HELLS YES

2008-11-29T13:25:00.009-05:00

Big leaves Carrie at the altar - Sex and The City Movie
(Per the above clip, it has always been a fantasy of mine to pelt an ex over the head with a bouquet of flowers (or a brick) while looking ultra fabulous at the same time.)

I'm not going to use this post as another excuse to post Beyonce's "Single Ladies", eventhough I think I have mastered almost every dance move. I hope I'm not in a club after two drinks.. and that song comes on. That'll be a post for "How to Embarrass Yourself.. thinking you are Beyonce". Whether you think B has talent or not (which is still being debated), she always seems to find a "girl" anthem that catches fire to the masses (over 400k sold in the first week.. look it up). After I had a chance to actually listen to the words, most of them ring true.
I can count atleast two exes that have professed their undying love for me (recently) after the relationship was over.."guuurl.. you were the one that got away". Now, I don't take their pleas seriously. I figure if you didn't know that while you were with me, than it wasn't meant to be (and you're a SCRUB anyway for not bowing in the presence of royalty). I have a male friend who pretty much confirmed my worst fears. Let's say.. you're in the relationship. Everything is honky dory! He's diggin you, and you are diggin him. You talk about the future, jobs, kids, houses, the family pet. Ladies, at a certain age, you want to be on the path to marriage and committment. Does it have to be right around the corner?.. no, but it needs to be atleast in the neighborhood. Then.. poof .. pow.. you start to notice distance and withdrawal sneeking in. He doesn't always return your call in a timely manner or he starts hanging out with his boys alot more than he used to. Now do most women have to be joined at the hip to our significant others.. absolutely not, but you do like to have activities other than the regular sleepovers and an occasional trip to the movies or dinner, YES! Isn't that the point of getting in the relationship in the first place? But I digress.. so you get to the point where you feel your kindness is being taken for granted.. not too much time after (if not resolved) the relationship ends. I truly understand that not every attempt to "make it last forever" is not supposed to succeed.. but WHY.. 3 months later (or 3 minutes later).. do we get the same song and dance... "You know I always loved you girl.. I know I messed up.. Don't you love me anymore?.. Give me one more chance". I have come to the conclusion that men want what they can't have.. and if you give them what they ask for.. they still find a way to become paralyzed with "committment phobia" and run for the hills... or.. maybe I'm dating the wrong men... EUREKA!

CHURCH!!!

GOBBLE GOBBLE..

2008-11-27T19:46:00.004-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all our family and friends. Yes, that is my Thanksgiving dinner creation.... and yes, your girl killed that turkey(figuratively of course). Since my home was neutral territory for my now divorced parents, I'd say the day went off without a hitch. Turkey, red velvet/key lime cake (don't hate), and football... priceless! I'm going to sleep now. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

MY FAVORITE THINGS..

2008-11-26T21:41:00.007-05:00

I thought I'd never see the day. This comes in a close 2nd to the election of Barack Obama as 44th President. Just a few short months ago, I would cringe at the gas pump paying $4.00/gallon. Remember the GAS SHORTAGE of '08. Gas is now at $1.64/gallon. I feel like I should buy a bunch of canisters, hoard as much as I can and store them in a deep freezer. I'm pretty sure I would violate several fire codes.

HP Pavillion Notebook

If sonograms were around in the mid '70's, I'm pretty sure the doctor would have seen a rectangular object attached to a zygote that 9 months later would become all that is good and perfect.. otherwise known as "me". The worst thing they could've done was invented wireless. This contraption never leaves my side.

Blackberry Curve

Not that the Pavillion is enough, but I now am addicted to this mini computer that plays ringtones. Not that I need to view my junk email every 10 minutes or send random texts about how NeNe from the Real Housewives of Atlanta almost tore that wig off Kim's head. I can now update my Facebook and Twitter accounts from my mobile, so everyone can know what I'm doing every second of every day. FUN TIMES!!

Foreplay begins with taking out the garbage!

2008-11-24T14:45:00.000-05:00

Ladies,
I am not sure that men get it! We, as the female species, are TOTALLY into an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION prior to having a SEXUAL CONNECTION. If your man pisses you off, of course, you are not going to be in the mood. HOWEVER, we must realize that on average, statistics show that men think about sex 6-10 times a day and hopefully, they are thinking about us!!!! Men- the key to a fulfilling sexual relationship is thinking about us in other ways than the in bedroom. If you are not doing so already, start washing the dishes when you get home (yes, we are tired and we have been dealing with the children since we got home from work.) How about folding the clothes that are in the laundry room that have been sitting there all week. How about taking the children off of my hands for a couple of hours on Saturday so that I can get my nails done! Please watch this segment from " My BFF- Oprah" If it does not ring home to you, I will bet that it does to someone you know!!!!
Please note: I am not a proponent of withholding sex from your man because you are pissed off. Just take the time to help them understand your needs. I am a strong believer of if you wont, I PROMISE YOU, someone else will..... or you may find someone else :)
Continuing to keep it real......

Watch the Oprah click here

4th SUNDAY

2008-11-23T18:39:00.007-05:00

If the Lord Jesus Christ was handing out grades for church attendance, I'd be going to His office hours begging for extra credit or make up work. Whether it is my stubbornness or laziness (I haven't figured out which one), but I still find it a challenge to get out of bed early Sunday morning to make it to early service. Not only does it make the Lord jump with glee, my mom gives me high fives when I surprise her by just showing up. So I had a little talk with Jesus, and we both decided I needed an incentive (hey, whatever works). Starting humming your favorite old negro spiritual.. cause your girl is now a proud member of the Cascade Door Keepers or CDK to those on the streets.. or just plain old usher board for everyone born before 1955. To serve does give you a sense of purpose other than just sitting in the pew. Not to knock my regular church goers, but knowing that others are depending on you to be there to assist makes it harder to punk out when you were out late the night before. Since I was the newbie, my assignment was pretty easy. I was told by an elder, during offering pass the basket to the next pew. I guess you don't get a door post until you got a few Sundays under your belt. I just had to smile and say Good Morning. It definitely put me in a better mood. Even though I don't always want to admit it, mama was right. Just a few hours surrounded by the holy spirit makes the day a little brighter. Is this a sign that I'm getting old? Maybe.. but I'm okay with that. Mothers' pearls now have more meaning.

LICKING THE PLATE..

2008-11-22T09:29:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I experienced the highest level of the "itis" known to man. My mother and I had a lunch date at This Is It BBQ around the corner for a little girl talk. I chose the 2 piece whiting lunch special with mac and cheese and lemonade. I knew it was going to be a man down/code 10 situation when at the table I started slurring my words and my eyesight became blurry. Thank God my moms was driving, cause I was legally impaired. The lemonade wasn't that Country Time substitute, but that home made ghetto lemonade that is so sweet it leaves a lump in your throat.. where you should probably ask for a side glass of water, but you can't peel yourself away from the enticing taste of pure raw sugar. With the takeout box in hand, we made our journey home. After getting home, letting the dog out, and going upstairs to just rest my eyes.. I woke up 3 solid hours later from a coma like sleep not knowing my name or my surrounding initially. My head was cloudy, and throat dry, but my stomach was full. I'm going back tomorrow!

BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE

2008-11-20T23:01:00.005-05:00

RZA - Grits

Somebody left the camcorder running and got all caught up in your cousins enjoying another blissful day at the corner of Broke & Triflin'. Nobody knows how they got Uncle Nook Nook to lip sync, shave his beard, while displaying that raw emotion right into the camera all at the same damn time. Can we call a prayer circle and ask the Lawd Gawd to guide Nook Nook's hand while shaving against the grain with that Lady Bic? .. and that's only in the first 40 seconds. I thought it was another episode of "That's My Broke Ass Mama". Y'all tell me how it ends.. I can't!

Kinishiwa Bitches!!

C.R.E.A.M.

2008-11-20T19:19:00.002-05:00

For those of you who say money can't buy happiness.. Pardon me while I take you out back and beat you down with a sock full of nickels. J & B (that is my nickname for them cause I got them on speed dial) tops Forbes power list of Hollywood Couples. Is that the sound of Dame Dash asking for his life back?.. and he chose to roll with "Pop Champagne" Jim Jones.. classy! $162 MILLION was the combined total for last year. Somebody needs to nominate them for a cabinet position, but Jigga may run into some issues with that vetting situation. I'm just sayin..
I won't feel bad getting that double disc on bootleg.. they don't need my pennies.

So much for money, Your HEALTH Is the most important!

2008-11-18T18:40:00.008-05:00

Okay Peeps,
After a weekend of what I thought was a NDE (Near Death Experience) I am back and LIVELY as ever!!! I feel renewed!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! On Saturday at around 3AM, I woke up in a state of panic!!!! My head was pounding on one side and I thought I was well on may way to join Elizabeth (Sanford & Son) I decided to wait and see how it played out over the weekend and Sunday I was FINE! However, on Sunday evening after having a martini with a few of my girls (one celebrating a divorce-HALLELUJAH!!!) came home, forgot, and took a Rx allergy medication! I woke up and really thought Jesus was calling me home! Nonetheless, I have severe sinus infection, that can be treated with antibiotics and no partying with my girls....FOR NOW! I am here to tell you, after sitting in the ER today, praying to God to just let me please have my health and let me see my daughter grow up, I don't care how much money you might have, you may be able to buy better health care but never your health!!! Take care of yourselves people! WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE!!! Live it to its fullest!

BLOGGING WHILE DRUNK..

2008-11-17T20:02:00.006-05:00

Ah, fully loaded, ah yes! Well not fully loaded, but maybe a little tipsy off of a bootleg martini mix and lemonade. I'm definitely not drunk, since I haven't started drunk dialing yet, maybe a little drunk texting, but that's harmless.. right? It was just one of those days where I need to sit in a dark corner and have a little talk with myself with a drink in my hand. It's all about a little self reflection. Not that I regularly deal with my problems with liquor, but I had a pretty uneventful day and a refrigerator full of leftover libation from an all girls weekend a few months back. I can totally understand without a good conscious and some supervision, it is easy to slip into "Hi, My name is.. ,and I'm an alcoholic". My source of discomfort is feeling that I have no help. I have to make decisions (solo) on everything. No one to divert to. No one to swoop in and save the day. Whether it's the light bill, renewing my car tags, buying a spare tire, paying a handyman to fix a toilet that has been running (unbeknown to me) for about a month. What tipped me off is my high ass water bill I got last week. Don't you sometimes wish you could go back to.. when you hit 18 and you had no REAL problems. My biggest problem at 18 was trying to schedule my college courses around the Young & the Restless. Sometimes you just want to be able to lay your head on somebody's shoulder and for them to pat you on the back and say "it's okay". I have great friends, and wonderful family, but sometimes you want/need more. As I'm coming down off my buzz, I have decided not to make this a regular occurrence, but it felt good while it lasted. Maybe I'll take the dog outside and walk it off.

I SEE BROKE PEOPLE..

2008-11-14T09:41:00.003-05:00

The Rent Party - Good Times

It's getting that serious. Coming from a 100% commission based income in real estate, I don't need to tell you times are hard. If it wasn't for the fact that I don't want random stalkers showing up at my door, I would post a copy of my resume in the hopes one of our faithful readers could assist a sista in her career change. I've had to get real creative on figuring out how to bring extra change up in here ( won't take it to the poll), but the well is running dry. It is not beneath me to throw a rent/mortgage party, but I'm pretty sure almost everyone I would invite is in the same boat. The main two things I avoid these days are the mailbox and my online bank balance. It's time to put my hustle drive in 5th gear.

Thanks.. but no thanks!

2008-11-12T13:37:00.004-05:00

Sex and The City - Berger breaks up with Carrie by post it note.

Can a post it or a text message be considered an acceptable mode of communication when kicking somebody to the curb? Anyone?? (looking for raised hands)

So what should the correct reaction be when you try to extend yourself to a person, who you've gotten to know over the months pretty well, developed a friendship (and a little more), you see them down and out and want to help, but you need them too (cause you got your own problems), and ignoring every impulse to run for the hills you stick your neck out, and you get served with a nice hot cup of rejection. I admit, timing is everything, and it is a proper way to do things, but sending the "I'm pumping the breaks speech" over text after they made you feel there was potential is not one of them. Let's just say, the car is now in park.

All I need is a muzzle....

2008-11-12T13:25:00.005-05:00

He could get it.. If I had a muzzle! It must be "HUMP" day. Cause I'm getting that feeling. It must be bad too, cause I was watching Terrell Owens on David Letterman last night and let's just say the television was on mute. Mr. Owens is not my ideal of sexy, especially since 99% of the time he sticks his foot in his mouth... but seeing those defined muscles through that v neck... that visual is on point! I'm licking my screen.

Reality Show Recap

2008-11-11T23:32:00.007-05:00

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Did I get my holiday wish early? It is the gift that keeps on giving. The catfight has escalated to a whole new level between the Housewives, and I love it! Between Dwight proclaiming he has sex 3 times a day (perish the thought), to Kim still being upset that NeNe told her the truth about her raspy, chain smokin', nails on the chalk board singing voice. Big Poppa must have some deep pockets to get Dallas Austin to entertain the bullsh*t for a half an hour. Of course, I screamed with astonishment when the paternity results came in to NeNe. This can't be real life. On the other hand, what is real.... Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is Season 3 premiere. Frankie (man down, holla) and Dwight need to get together and have an illegitimate child, name it Sassafras Jenkins (pronounced Jayn-kins) and raise it in the newly decorated doggie room... and some people wish for world peace! Seriously, Frankie is on that pipe.. watch.. it's going to come out in episode 3. Up with HOPE.. down with DOPE (compliments of the Juice!),

Get your urban news at DimeWars.Com

The house that slaves built

2008-11-10T21:53:00.003-05:00

President Bush welcomes The Obamas to the White House.

Personally, I don't remember this story in history class. Thank God in 2008 we are able to rewrite history. The Final Call.. (I know) had an old article about how the White House was built. Interesting read. FYI.. the most over used phrases of the week.. "President-Elect" and "Transition to Power". January 20th.. hurry up already.

FEAR OF FLYING..

2008-11-09T11:22:00.004-05:00

No, not a fear of flying in an airplane. A fear of flying, soaring, reaching your fullest potential. To overcome the fear of flying, you have to not be afraid of failure. The failure part is the thing that gives you that big knot in your stomach when you are about to make a risky decision. In some aspects of life, it is easier to make the decision to risk it all. Myself and countless others have made risky business or career decisions. Some panned out.. some didn't. Even when I fail, I always know it is another opportunity around the corner. I find I'm so open to searching for new ways to challenge myself professionally. Allowing the unknown to be explored, even when the obstacles are mounting. I always think.. what do I have to lose? Of course those decisions are easier when you are a single woman and your only obligation is to an adorable 5 lb dog that likes to lick your feet. Taking a risk is a mind exercise. The further you push yourself into unchartered waters, the easier it is to do it the next time. Life is too short, and I know for a fact I've let opportunities pass me by due to the fear of flying. Oprah says it all the time.. Live your best life. So am I doing that being riddled with doubt? As I'm typing, I am clearly dancing around the main purpose for this post. I took my heart off my sleeve years ago. Vowed it wouldn't reappear until I met someone that went through hell and back to prove they were worth it. In my quest to protect myselft, I've gotten used to the fear and the doubt. In a way, I am cheating. I have this blog to vent all of this anonymously. MAKE IT PLAIN!! I want to reach the point where I am not afraid of the consequences of bearing my soul. In the last day, I heard a story of delayed destiny. Because of miscommunication and hurt feelings, these two people almost missed the opportunity of a lifetime by finding their soul mates. In my own way, I have to find a way to leave no stone unturned to make sure this guy knows how I feel. I'm taking my big girl pill. Here we go!
UPDATE: Only bear your soul to someone that deserves it. If he shows you that he is not worth it.. KICK ROCKS!

HOW TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF..

2008-11-08T11:45:00.005-05:00

Good Afternoon Children. It is time for another installment of HOW TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF.. AT THE CLUB. I'm working on my theme music for this post.

Let's go back September '07. In DC at one of my favorite night spots. One of my Brown Chicks is with me, and I'm siced (DC shoutout) to see Jay-Z live. So you know the spot was packed like rush hour on Friday. Our plan was to get there at a decent time and get as close to the stage without getting crushed. We find our spot, dance to the music, get shoved by security, and make some new friends while we are at it. The whole time in the back of my mind, I'm thinking.... I'm too old for this sh*t.. BUT.. I soldier on .. in 3 inch heels. After almost two hours.. me and my fellow "chick" are starting to lose hope, but then HOVA takes the stage. The stampede towards the stage commenses and I shoot a look to my friend as if to say "I came, I saw, I conquered". We made our way to the back were there was plenty oxygen available. We still actually had a good view of the stage from our safe zone in the back, and I'm thinking... I can chill right here.. until I feel someone's hind parts rubbing against my back. I'm thinking, all this extra room, why in the hell is this drunk broad trying to push up on me? Keep in mind.. I don't have a visual cause she doing the drop it like it's hot directly behind me. My rule is 3 strikes and you're out! So I give her 3 times to bump into me until I give her the hard elbow in the back. That got her attention. I'm feeling like Wonder Woman right about now. Who does she think she is? Well.. who she is .. is a 5'9" 300 lb drunk black chick with a Moet bottle in her hand and nothing to lose. (YIKES!!!) She steps in front of me (I'm 5' 125 and don't like to fight), waving the bottle in my face and says those undeniable fighting words.. "Is there a problem?". Ooooh sh*t! I shoot my "chick" the look of .. my emergency numbers are in my cell phone in case this broad knocks me unconscious and I wake up at Howard University Hospital not knowing my name. I got the reassuring look back from my side kick.. saying "I won't leave you .. if you get knocked the f*ck out". See, when you are with your tight girl.. no need for words, we intercept messages with just a facial expression. At this point, I have two choices. I can run for the door or stand my ground. I chose to stand my ground,very diplomatically (Team Tiny stand up!). I went all Barack Obama on her.. got real cool, like I was explaining the North America Free Trade Agreement to Sarah Palin. I knew one blow from this chick and it was over.. I'm no fool. After a few verbal exchanges, her friends coaxed her to walk away. I thank God everyday for those friends, cause I may have been still walking with a limp. So the lesson I learned from this incident.. I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SH*T!

I HATE HIM..

2008-11-07T08:19:00.008-05:00

Heartless - Kanye

No.. I don't hate Kanye. Not today anyway. Maybe I'm showing my age, but I love hip hop I can relate to. Some songs just speak to me. We've all been there. You've been in that relationship that was a complete waste of time, and it has reached a ridiculously stupid retarded level. All your common sense tells you to cut and run, but for some moronic reason you are still re hashing the dysfunction with the same person. I know some people say they can be friends with their exes. I can't.. (with most of them anyway). Maybe that is my flaw. Yes, there are 2 or 3 that don't make me cringe when I see them in public, and mostly all of them I can remain cordial.. BUT.. reverting back to "buddies".. hell to the nawh! After some time and distance, you do gain some perspective and those hurtful feelings do diminish, but you never forget the circumstances on why it ended. I feel like it wasn't just a relationship.. we were friends.. and if the other person did something so foul to break the relationship/friendship.. I have no words. That is why I like Kanye.. he wears his heart on his sleeve.. you see the good, bad, and the ugly.

Funny Movie Clips

2008-11-07T07:59:00.002-05:00

Starting my weekend off right.. a few funny movie clips that made me chuckle. Honorable mentions go to Richard Pryor's "Which Way Is UP", "Cooley High", and "Friday". Enjoy!

Sexual Chocolate - Coming to America

You Asked For It, You Got It - Forget Paris

Baby Jesus - Talladega Nights

The Shootout - Harlem Nights (Hilarity ensues around 4:00)

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN..

2008-11-05T01:30:00.001-05:00

Barack Obama's Speech at 2004 Democratic National Convention

WE NEED THIS..

2008-11-04T14:17:00.003-05:00

So many times I rage and rant about the negative images that filter to our young black men. I'm a huge fan of music, even a bigger fan of hip hop and in the last few years I've seen it reduced from an art form to the cliche.. I got money, I got bitches, I'm the king. You know what I'm talking about. I can't tell you how many times I've been approached by the "wrong one" who thinks they just left the video shoot and can pull me with a bullsh*t line or put in no effort at all(you can read the extended text from my new book "Why I'm Single: Tales from the Dark Side"). Now, I will be the first to admit when I'm at a party I don't organize a boycott when I hear Little Wayne's "Mrs. Officer"... but I'm a grown a*s woman.. and I pay taxes.. so to that.. everything needs a balance. So now that we are on the day that history is being made with the general election, can Barack Obama taking the White House be that balance? So just imagine what can happen when President Obama's influence can trickle down to that young black male who now thinks its cool to have the dream of running for political office. Its bigger than the title, its the sense of empowerment. Some people want to minimize that aspect, but this is HUGE! So in a few years, when it is normal to see minorities (race and gender) in power, couldn't it be an easier sell to a young black teenager who thought about selling drugs to change direction and say "I want to be President"?

WHY THE HELL IS SHE SO HAPPY?

2008-11-02T21:53:00.006-05:00

Will somebody walk right up to this chick and wipe that goofy smirk off her face? She is in La La land. That smile is a front. Lets go inside her head.. shall we? She's thinking.. yeah.. I work at the car wash part time so I help my moms out and collect some loose change at the same time. But for real, that loose change be paying the cable, light, and cell phone bill. What she really wants is to win that $150 million dollar POWERBALL (eventhough she never plays the lottery), chuck the deuce to the car wash, move out of state (preferably DC), buy at PHAT rowhouse in Northwest, pay off all her debt (while cutting a check to some family members and a few key friends), donate to the needy, start college funds for her niece and nephew, have a girls weekend on some tropical island (being served Hottie Totties by barely clothed pool boys), do some more traveling, find her dream job (cause she won't care about the $$$), find her husband, pop out (or adopt) 2 or 3 kids, and skip off into the sunset. Piece of cake! FYI.. those hanging janitor keys are a mark of a LOSER, but that fitted khaki is to die for!

Somebody just roll right up on her and yell "WAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUP!".

How to be the wife AND the "GIRLFRIEND"

2008-11-01T15:39:00.008-04:00

Okay Ladies and Gentlemen,
This is a post for those of us that like to KEEP IT REAL! Although, Dr. Laura gets on my last nerve most of the time because I do not think she is totally realistic(to see her aspect on what love and marriage is all about go to www.drlaura.com). She has a point in one area, you need to "date" your husband. I believe this is true. All of the effort you put into getting him, you need to think about what you need to do to KEEP him!! An 87 year old woman once told me, there are many women that, honestly, if you don't do it, ANOTHER WOMAN WILL..... Here is an idea that may keep him at home instead of going to "his boys house." My fellow "chicks" agree :)