Monday, December 29, 2008

GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: HOLIDAY EDITION


DON'T HATE MY FILA SWAGGER!

As the previous post states.. sorry for the delay. I had a house full of family members all week and my dog started showing beginning symptoms of being bipolar. He now has his meds and is no longer confusing my foot for a fire hydrant.
My gift giving was pretty light this year, since the funds were low, and I have low expectations anyway since I'm over the age of 20. Each year, my father tries to stay relevant or the center of conversation when distributing his Christmas finds to willing recipients. Personally, I think it is that Christmas guilt since him and my mother split up a few years back. This year, he was more reminiscent of the Ghost of Christmas Past.... past fashion faux pas. While he gets an "A" for remembering Kang Jesus' birthday, I don't know what warm feeling led him to the local Kohls department store and proceed to pick out and purchase 5 FILA sweat suit ensembles (shaking my head). This.. coming from a man that asked (and got) an Ipod for Christmas, but doesn't know how to open an attachment in an email. Now this is no time to be picky.. but it's not like I just got off the plane from some foreign country and didn't understand that FILA was hot in '85 (maybe). I didn't have the heart to to tell him that his gift would be shoved in the bottom of a Goodwill drop off box by next week. Season's Greetings!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Happy Holidays!!

Okay... Everybody needs a "VayCay"!
The "Chicks" are actually taking a little time off to spend precious moments with our loved ones. If you get a blog entry between now and January 5th, 2009, it is a bonus! You know, that not only do most of our families not have a computer but if they do, their computer is still on dial up!!! LOL!!! We promise, we will come back refreshed, hilarious, and interesting as ever. Please stay tuned and have a blessed holiday!
Much love,
The "Chicks"

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

KNUCK IF YOU BUCK..



Let me first start out by saying, I am too lazy and tired to pre screen every attempt at foolishness that comes across Youtube. C+D makes it easy on my fragile nerves so I can hold it together for Jesus' birthday next week. My mind got weery trying to focus on all the extra goodies in the above clip. May we request another prayer circle for Sybil in the hopes she doesn't harm herself while protecting her domicile. What sets the tone.. her bumping "America's Most Wanted" by Tupac and Snoop on level 10! After January 20th, this must cease!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

CABIN FEVER..

I'm about to go all Shawshank up in here. Of course I was up at the random hour of 4 am to catch Shawshank Redemption on HBO. That way I'm feeling right now, I would crawl through 500 yards of human waste to gain my freedom from this life of boredom. Yes, it was a sh*tty day over on the SW side of the "A". I am officially in a rut. It completely sucks to be in the middle of a career change and borderline financial crisis. I must be a complete genius to be taking such a risk while the WORLD is in an economic downward spiral... but that is me. I've done stranger things. Most of you know I'm trying to move to higher ground.. DC for those of you in the know. Not to down Atlanta in any way, but its like being with a really nice guy, but no spark. You don't get that tingle when your cell phone rings and you know it is him. If you decided to keep him around longterm you know he would be dependable, but you would be bored out of your skull. That is how I feel about Atlanta. We are not evenly yolked! Since I know that the Big Move is near, sitting around waiting for the official job offer to pack my sh*t and go is like watching paint dry. The anxiety is getting to me. Patience is not one of my most endearing qualities. I need instant gratification. Andy crawling through that pipe filled with raw sewage is the equivalent of me rubbing two pennies together for the last few months to see if I can make a dime. I just want to get to the other side and raise my hands in victory (for affect.. let it be raining and violins playing in the background). I need a change!



The Great Escape - Shawshank Redemption

Monday, December 15, 2008

THE EDDIE MURPHY HALL OF FAME..



Oscar .. check!
Goods looks.. (from the neck down anyway).. check!
Fame & Fortune.. check!
Viable recording artist...????

I know you all remember back in the day (mid 80's) when Eddie Murphy was at the height of his career and he decided to do that album. Y'all remember.. "my girl wants to party all the time.. party all the time.. party all the tiiiiiime!". RIP Rick James.. At the tender age of 9, I didn't take his musical prowess seriously. The male ego can be a bankable movie star's worst enemy. With such a solid career in the 80's now Eddie is reduced to being known for taking a liking to chicks with a little something extra and to being the questionable roomate of Johnny Gill. Oh, and let's not forget the 45 minute marriage he had with Tracy Edmonds. Um.. hmm.
Even before I saw the above clip, I always thought Jamie Foxx's musical talent was average at best. I recently watched the video "Just Like Me". If my one year old niece can hum the melody to the hook on your song.. it is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Now while I admit that "baby wipes" Terrence Howard takes himself a little too seriously as a recording artist, Mr. Foxx is not that far behind. Eddie Murphy is Jamie Foxx without the Oscar. Somebody needs a reality check.

Friday, December 12, 2008

YES AND NO: FASHION EDITION



YES!! YES!! YES!! Ri Ri gets a gold star without even trying. Cannot believe this is the same chick that penned "Pon Da Replay". If she can do it.. dammit.. so can I. I'll be recreating this ensemble for New Years Eve for the low.. low price of $100. Watch... Charlotte Russe.. here I come! Yes, my pants may be made out of the always fashionable "pleather" and my coat out of chinese dog hair, but I'll be fly and be able to pay my cell phone bill next month. DON'T HATE!!



NO.. MAMA TINA NO!! While I am a self proclaimed Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter stalker, I can't get behind that raw silk/racoon combination coat. Looks like something I made in sewing class in 1989. Something is always a little off with her style choices. I'd soon enough point her in the direction of Forever 21 before I tell her to pick up the Spring line at House of Dereon. This chick is worth $200 million. Let's do better!

Pics compliments of The YBF.

Fix Or Repair Daily


Most of my natural life my family had been involved with the sale of American made automobiles. Before retirement, my dad was an automobile dealer. Since I was atleast 5 years old, I knew nothing of foreign made cars. My first car was a white Ford Mustang (not the GT) with a tape deck. All through college, I drove different models of the Ford Probe, Mustang, Thunderbird, Explorer and Tempo (I was on punishment on that last one). Yes, my dream car was a BMW, but I never dared become picky over a vehicle I was not making the car payments on. Were they the best cars to drive.. no.. but as far as my wallet was concerned.. they were FREE! So fast forward to 2000, I got my first taste of luxury. It came in the form of a silver 323i. That is the first time I became one with my vehicle. I know one should never be so attached to material things, but me and that car had a strong bond. I almost shed a tear when I traded her in for an updated model.
What brings me down auto memory lane is that feeling of excitement when making that car purchase. It is the second biggest purchase you will ever make outside of buying a home. The American automakers need to figure out a way to create that magic. So, if you're getting $15 Billion from the feds, I don't see why it is brain surgery to come up with a product that is marketable to the general public. Not everybody needs to ride in a HUMMER or an F250. It seems like everyone else saw the tide changing, what made these company execs want to stay the course and let the ship sink all in the need to change the body style on the Ford Focus. Again, why pay these men million dollar bonuses when now they are only thinking about change after being ridiculed for flying in on private jets with their hands out. Solution: Make the Big 3 make modernized, cost efficient, environment friendly vehicles and give the consumer a tax incentive on their purchase. What is so hard about that?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

GET LIKE ME..

Once again, I am amazed at the pearls of wisdom that permeate my computer screen every time I visit one of my favorite blog site C+D. WARNING: I advise all heterosexual men to bypass this particular post. If you dare to proceed, you may turn into a pillar of salt. All I got to say is if I had these skills, I'd probably be married by now with child and living comfortable by NeNe Leakes standards. My emotion while watching this clip is a mixture of nausea, laughter, confusion, jealousy. Excuse me while I go get the Pepto!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

GLAD HE WASN'T BLACK..



Democratic Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his wayward hair are heading to the pokey! That is if the attorney general has anything to say about it. Yes, I know the election is over and Barack is well on his way to the White House, but I cringe anytime I think the media could find a way to link any scandal to our President-Elect. Boy, am I glad this dude wasn't black.. its bad enough we've had to deal with the recent shenanigans of OJ and Kwame Kilpatrick. I hope Jesse Jackson Jr don't get caught up. You know they need to give that Senate seat to him anyway. Unless you were brought up on a farm and was home schooled for the first 13 years of your life, you shouldn't run for public office. They will always finds something. Like the time I stole a mirror out of JC Penney.. I was 5!!! But.. I GUARANTEE.. if I was running for city council.. it would turn into a big scandal and I would be throwing news conferences explaining my mental capacity at the tender age of 5. NO THANK YOU!!! The more power you have, the more sloppy you get. This dude didn't think he had a phone tap? Come on, I talk daily on the phone about trivial reality shows and how my dog pooped in his crate yesterday, and if I hear a click or echo .. this jig is up.. I gotta tap on my phone. All I gotta say is.. don't drop the soap!

TIME ON MY HANDS..

You would think with all this extra free time I would find something more constructive to do. It's like watching paint dry. But.. nope! Between posting for jobs on washingtonpost.com, working part time shifts at the car wash, and keeping my house immaculate for potential renters to view, I usually find the dumbest, mind numbing thing to watch on tv. Things have been a little suspect since The Wire went off. I'm left to my own devices. Well, a friends turned me on to True Blood. Yes.. I know the season is over.. that is what On Demand is for. Was I initially interested in watching a series about vampires in the deep South? Not exactly, you know us "black folk" don't like nothing to do with the dark side. I pray Jesus don't put roots on my computer as I'm typing this.. but the show is good. Bill Compton (the main vampire) has to be the most romantic tv character I've seen in .. forever or maybe that is part of my strange dysfunction. Its twisted, dark, and intriguing all at the same time. Wouldn't be my usual pick, but kudos to HBO for giving me something with substance.

My personal MVP: Lafayette! Snap for the kids!

Monday, December 8, 2008

TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT..

That is funny, especially coming from someone that don't technically have a job (yet). I must admit, I've gotten quite spoiled over the last few years working in real estate. That whole setting your own schedule was well worth all the gas I burned up riding the outskirts of Atlanta in search of my buyer's dream home. But.. now it is coming to an end and I'm mentally preparing myself to re enter the corporate setting. I have to get ready for my manager to say things like "kudos", "awesome", and "let me share these pearls with you". You know you've been in that professional job setting and wanted to straight jump across the desk and wrap your hands around that coworker's neck that used to pick there nose on a daily basis, but then always want to use your phone for personal calls... GROSS!! That inner cuss out is always right around the corner. The following clip made my soul cry out... in laughter!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I LOST EVERYTHING....

On my FREAKING ITunes!!!
Okay, Here we go.... DRAMA as usual!

I lost EVERYTHING on ITunes because I bought a new computer. Hell, my other PC was almost 7 years old (Yes, I am a cheap ass...) I decided because, at least today, I am a PROFESSIONAL :) so I should suck it up and get a real computer. I was relying on my work laptop and we all know that I may lose my job tomorrow, so based on that, I bought a real computer to download my personal stuff. A Mac at that! I like it for a number of reasons- mostly to take great pics of my "Sweet Pea" and make them into movies and holiday cards but as I go to sync my IPOD of over 3000+ songs, EVERYTHING DISAPPEARED!!! Oh Sh*t! What am I to do!!! Momma has to get her workout on! Momma needs to decompress on her way home from work with a few "dusties" blaring through the car radio! I currently live in a neighborhood where, at my gym, they play Bon Jovi for spin class! IT SUCKS!!! I NEED, WANT, HAVE TO HAVE, my OWN music. It takes me back! It makes me feel less than the age I am! It helps me to de-stress! I have my special playlist that reminds me of college- MANY MEMORIES, I might add... good, bad, or indifferent :) It is UNREAL how a song can provoke so many memories... Or visions for the future. HAHAHA!! Here is an example- Pretty Brown Eyes by Mint Condition reminds me of my freshman year of college where I met 7 of my now closest friends. I smile every time I hear it! Feenin' by Jodeci ... well, I will keep that one to myself... LOL! Does anyone else share my pain? I am headed to the Apple store tomorrow to raise sayin' as my Nana would say. I will keep you posted. This "Chick" may have a sleepless night!!!! For sanity purposes, I need my music!
HELP!!!!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

IS THAT SANTA.. KICKING IN MY BACK DOOR?


Another warm holiday story to get you in the Christmas mood. Wasn't Halloween over a month ago, cause I got the spooks. I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but I've seen a rise in home invasions in my neighborhood over the past few weeks. The latest victim.. my next door neighbor. Eventhough they only made off with a laptop, I'm shaking in my boots. Luckliy me and my neighbor are pretty cool, so I feel we look out for each other.. but she can't stop somebody from kicking in my back door in the middle of the night. So what is a single girl to do? I don't quite know, but while I'm in the process of finding sufficient home protection.. I trust NO ONE. Everyone is a suspect in my book. While I do believe it is some bored teenagers trying to find a way to pass the time, I'm giving the side eye to the mail man, the old lady that walks her poodle every morning, my other next door neighbor that never speaks eventhough I throw my hand up occassionally and wave, or the numerous service, cleaning personnel that may have been scoping out the place. So I'm a prisoner in my own home, but I'm not going down without a fight. My little Kingston will protect me. He may not be a 100 lb attack dog, but he'll bark to the high heavens.

GIRLS VS. BOYS



When I was a youngin, I played in an all girl softball league. I can see the team picture clear as day. Our red and white team shirts with our first names on the back, black gym shorts circa 1982, and knee high white gym socks with the red stripes at the top. Lets not forget the solo pic where I'm standing over home plate with the bat slightly lopsided and I'm squinting my eyes cause the sun is so bright. Okay.. back on the path to my point. The one thing about that picture I remember is thinking "where were the boys?". Through kindergarten and elementary school, the sexes were segregated. Whether it was P.E., after school sports .. the environment where competition is at its highest.. got me thinking.. if we didn't learn how to play nice in those formative years, what makes us think we can play nice as adults. After counseling a guy friend through what looks like a break up of something promising, I found it odd how similar the reaction is to hurt, disappointment or rejection no matter what the gender. He was genuinely caught off guard by the break down of his relationship. I always thought guys just shrug it off, go have a jack and coke, and call the next chick on speed dial for a sleep over. Not to take pleasure in his pain (cause that chick was wrong), but it was nice to see real raw emotion. Now the transformation begins. The nice guy that was always open about his feelings (in a masculine way) has now been badly burned for the first time, and his trust for women has all but disappeared. I know he'll think differently about it a few days from now, but we've all been there. So my question is.. if we surprisingly are similar in that way where we BOTH can be emotional creatures.. why can't boys and girls.. men and women meet somewhere in the middle?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

MY TWO STEP..

I've been on my out of state hustle over the past two days (yes, planes, trains, and automobiles). I'm jumping through some serious hoops to live out my dreams to the fullest. While I know risk taking is in the blood, it seems like is in overdrive lately... like a super hero.. and a super hero needs her theme music. Sorry for all the recent music posts, but when you go to another city that has a slight edge on the culture meter, you're amazed at what your ear lobes can hear. I mean.. my soul cried! So.. I'm late. I'll be picking up "Fearless" by Jasmine Sullivan tomorrow. Is it possible to have jet lag without changing time zones? I'm going to sleep now.. wake me on Friday.









Monday, December 1, 2008

MONEY WORTH SPENDING..

Since we are now officially in a RECESSION, I started counting my pennies 6 months back. Instead of paying those big wigs that sit in some secret room on Wall Street and collect those big checks for delivering news that the whole nation was expecting, they could've cut me a smaller check and I could've reported the same damn thang back in April when that Combo #1 with a Lemonade at Chick Fila went up $.62 overnight. It was clear to me then we were in a RECESSION. Back to my point, I've started to cut out certain luxuries, but one is well worth the investment. If I didn't have satellite radio, I would be stuck listening to "Birdwalk" in heavy rotation.. no thank you! That $12.95 a month is worth every penny. If you live in the duurty like myself, it's hard to come by anything that wasn't produced by Little John or T Pain. I'm East Coast to my heart. Scrubbing the ground was cool when I was in college at those Alpha parties sweating my perm out, but now I need grown ass hip hop. Not that I'm on Jigga's nutzzz.. but .. well listen for yourself.

DUH?...

My mama always told me things happen in 3's.

Why on the same day President Elect Obama announces Hillary Clinton to be the Secretary of State (like that was a news flash).. and at the same time it was announced the economy was officially in a RECESSION (like I didn't see that coming), and that the dow plunges 680 points?... coincidence.. I think not!