Tuesday, August 26, 2008

She was SIMPLY AMAZING!!!!!!!



If you missed it, please watch! This was history in the making!!!! OBAMA in 2008!!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

STALKERS ANONYMOUS


Hello.. my name is Brown Chick #1.. and I'm a Beyonce Stalker (Group response in unison: Hi Brown Chick #1). I am fully aware that there are more important stories that I can post, like the most important announcement that Joe Biden will be Barack's running mate.. and what that means for the most significant election of our lifetime... or how gas prices have taken a nose dive in the last two weeks (thank you JESUS).. or how my 9 month old niece took her first steps yesterday.. and I was there to witness it.... but NOOOO! I feel the shakes coming on.. I have to take time out of my day to post Beyonce's new song "Case". Just heard it on satellite in the car.. found time in my busy day to rush home.. and find a clip for my faithful Beyonce Carter stalkers.. such as myself. I like the song better in the car at full blast. My apologies to the individuals with normal lives.

Case - Beyonce

Thursday, August 21, 2008

REALITY SHOW CLIP OF THE WEEK


Bad Baby!

I chuckle everytime I see this.... and yes I'm a full week late. I know Season 2 of Flipping Out is over, but my Pavillion just got paroled for good behavior from HP so I'm taking advantage. Funny, but a little scary.. the look in that baby's eyes. Chloe and Jeff Lewis are the same kind of crazy.. they don't have meds for that.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

BLACK GIRL RESCUE



When did disrespecting black women become the norm? Did I miss the memo? Wonder Twins ACTIVATE!




Personally, I applaud LisaRaye (my momma calls her Diamond) for attempting to whoop a nicca's a** for putting his hands on her. Before you hit the publish comment button and ready to unleash this Sunday school's lesson about nonviolence on me, I don't ever or ever had to deal with any kind of physical drama in any of my relationships.. but a brotha would have an imprint of a copper cookware frying pan from the Gordon Ramsay Collection on the side of his grill if he thought about raising a hand to me.

I would implore the soon to be former Mrs. Michael Misick to start offering classes on the subject at Black Girl Rescue University (BGRU).

First Semester: "Backbone, where art thou?"

Second Semester: "No.. I'm not crazy.. YOU ARE!"

Third Semester: "Blue Balls are your new best friend"

Fourth Semester: "Yes.. I will choke a b*tch"

Candidates for the inaugural graduating class:

Mrs. Carlita Kilpatrick




Honorable inductee to the Black Girl Rescue: Elizabeth Edwards (wife of John Edwards)



For once, I would like to see the wife of a shamed politician go completely off at the press conference. Have her girls standing in the background.. taking off their shoes, pulling out the Vaseline, and taking out her earrings.. READY TO BOX! I think if these men knew their wives were capable of showing their a** on national television.. they would think twice before making that "booty call" to Stank Side Chick #1 (Paging Monica Lewinsky).

"With an S on my chest"

Just a thought!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

SHOOT ME NOW..


Madison's version of "Lollipop"

Ladies and Gentleladies.. the Apocalypse is upon us. I dropped to my knees.. clutching mama's pearls around my neck and screamed in angst.. MAKE IT STOP! Like the warnings layed out for us in the Holy Book of Revelations (no blasphemy).. I do believe this is a sign. I fear just typing these words will cause my already shaky DELL to take a dirt nap. Follow my directions carefully... and you will survive the ORANGE level situation.

1. If any blonde, caucasian female (the others) approaches.. do not.. I repeat.. DO NOT.. look them directly in the eye. Nod politely.. make a 180 turn and run like hell.
2. If any of "the others" ask to view your Dirty South playlist on your Ipod, politely tell them you shipped your Ipod back to Apple for a major recall and you've never heard of Lil' Wayne.
3. If they catch you off guard.. always have a copy of "By All Means Necessary" by KRS 1, blast that sh*t as loud as you can in their direction from your car stereo. That sh*t is like cryptonite to those b*tches. Make sure you have Talib Kweli or Chuck D on speed dial.
4. If that doesn't stop them.. you'll need 1 gallon of Red Coolaid (extra sugar), a bowl of chitterlings, a pig foot, a loosey (preferably Black & Mild). Walk backwards in a circle singing the lyrics to "Young, Gifted & Black" by Aretha Franklin.

This is what will happen if hip hop continues to go to the masses.. you've been warned!

UPDATE: On the flip side, I am not mad at Little Jesse McCartney for covering T Pain's "Buy You A Drank". I would gladly relinquish the entire T Pain catalog in exchange for someone destroying the voice box machine.

"Let's get gone.. walk it out"..

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

“No BitchASSness” allowed!!!!

Please tell me that someone other than me is watching the reality show, “I want to work for Diddy!” The above title is a DIRECT quote from the show (love it- will steal.) Once again, I am NOT a reality show junkie, unlike my fellow “Chicks” but once in a while I do TRY to at least support the shows that are developed for or display people of color… (Baldwin Hills- smile) The one thing I am trying to figure out is does Diddy have a “Don’t Ask, Don’t tell” policy? By the first show it was evident that there was a transsexual on the show and by episode #2, one of the men shared that he was gay. LET ME SAY FIRST AND FOREMOST, I do not have a problem with the “family” so please, do not send me any nasty grams!!! One of my really good friends and also my favorite cousin is gay, so no hard feelings, however, is this maybe a sign of “The Did” coming out? Maybe this is his special way of saying he supports “The Family.” Who knows, all I have to say is time will tell…. What I will say is that if they did not have the above contestants plus Kim AKA “POprah” this show would suck. She is no DAMN joke! Love her, big behind and all!!!! If they let her go, it would be a mistake!!!! She gives the show character, the rest are dry as hell!!!!!! This show would be a bootleg copy of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice (with people walking across the screen and everything) just a day late and a dollar short!!! Please watch. This is a disaster waiting to happen!!! I am VERY interested in your thoughts and especially who wins! This could be very telling……… HA!!!

P.S. Are the male judges part of "The Family" also?!!!? Let a sista know!!!!!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

MAYBE BABY..

Sitting here in Chicagoland typing from my sister's ancient Compaq, I'm struggling to get my 3 year old nephew to finish his frozen french toasts. Between my very active 9 month old niece (she has the makings of being the next stand up comedian) and answering the zillion questions 3 year olds have.. I will wait on the procreating thing. A minor flaw in my plan.. I may need to locate my husband/sperm donor first! With all that said.. my Monday nights are usually filled with reality television, but this batch of new contenders leaves much to be desired. Either I've decided to get a life within the last week or the attempt at trial motherhood (my niece and nephew are my guinea pigs) has monopolized all my time. When my sister gets any indication that help is available, she suddenly disappears into the night with only a vague explanation of when she'll return and a screech of the tires as she floors it to the end of the block. I guess everybody needs their escape. That is why God made Aunties!

Since my mid twenties, I've had my life pretty much planned out. Married at 27, first child by 31, maybe number 2 at 33. If any single chick says she's never thought about getting married and having a family.. SHE IS A COMPULSIVE LIAR... DUMP HER IMMEDIATELY! As you travel through life and several relationships, your perspective changes about the world around you. It is so true. I am a completely a different person now then I was as a fresh faced 22 year old college graduate ready to conquer the world. Things in my twenties that were considered absolutes are now maybes. Surprisingly, I think I'm okay with that.. for now anyway!



Oprah clip - 70% of black women are single.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

Fresh from a FABULOUS weekend in our nation's capitol, I come home to find my nearly new laptop six feet under (dead). So Brown Chick #1's posts will be limited until HP decides to relinquish my precious Pavillion back into the wild. Until then, I will work on the bootleg version, but I think it just gave me the middle finger when I tried to upload a youtube video. So to all our loyal readers (all 8 of you), I ask for your patience.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Can you have more than one SOUL MATE?!?!

I truly believe that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. God, or whomever you may believe in, has a plan for you. When certain things happen to you, you may not understand the reason why it is happening at the time, however, it may occur to you 10 days from now or even 10 years from now why the event or series of events took place. The question is, how do YOU make the decision to let go or keep going????? Should you be in this situation for a lifetime or should it have been a "one night" or "one vacation" stand?

Case in point....

I have a friend that I would say is the "good girl" of all my friends. If you even look at a man the wrong way and you are committed, married, or even strongly LIKE someone, and you start looking at someone else, she is the first to check you. Her motto is "evaluate your current situation and figure out IS IT WORTH IT?" In 13 years of marriage she has NEVER cheated! Well, my girl has fallen by the wayside. A year ago she met a man while she was vacationing with her extended family (supposedly her husband had to stay behind for work- for the record, he is a bit of a jerk....)she has been completely turned out. Not only did her sexy vacation man "woo" her and they had AMAZING sex. This man lives outside the US and she recently after 11 months of great phone, email conversation, and great phone sex, went to visit him!!!!!!!! She AND he, because he recently called me ( I guess I am an accomplice) to let me know that she is an amazing woman and he feels that I have an amazing friend, felt the need to let me know that he will never hurt her and if HE WAS NOT MARRIED AS WELL, she would be the one for him!!!!!!!! How crazy is this? She loves her husband and he loves his wife, however, they love each other. Is this real or fantasy? Maybe because they do not get to deal with the day to day intricacies of a marriage maybe this is why life is so good. Who knows! The one thing that I can tell you is that she is a new woman. After her overseas trip, she has a glow and has never been happier. She said that this, in some twisted way, may help her marriage. She appreciates what she has, but, she now has her own little secret and when her husband really pisses her off, she has something to reflect on. It also may hurt her marriage..... She may be thinking and fantasizing about "vacation sweetie" more than she should! What are your thoughts? Feel free to post!!!!